irs Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

93-Year Old Brewers Fan Throws Out First Pitch
Better than 50 Cent!...

Skip Bayless Gets Emotional Over Leaving ESPN To Peddle His Shitty Takes Elsewhere
Today’s episode of First Take began with Skip Bayless addressing the news that he’ll be leaving ESPN after the NBA Finals. Bayless, Molly Qerim, and Stephen A. Smith took a couple of minutes to reminisce about all the stupid opinions generated by the two....

Your Last-Minute, Pants-Shitting Guide To Taxes
Oh holy living fuck, Tax Day is Monday! Have you filed yet? Do you owe penalties? SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL. You better run. I know a place in Mexico where you can lie low for a bit while the Feds go searching for you. It’ll buy you the time you need, and then you can jump a shipping freight...

Jim Irsay Compares Risks Of Football To Taking Aspirin
I’m not sure why a few NFL owners have suddenly felt the urge to speak publicly about football’s relationship to CTE, but somebody in the league office should probably tell them to stop....

Fulham Catfished Their Own Players To Show The Dangers Of Flirting With Teens Online
Second-tier English club Fulham have taken the implications of former Sunderland winger Adam Johnson’s conviction on three criminal charges stemming from his relationship with a 15-year-old girl very seriously. To alert their players to the dangers of using social media to connect with pretty, young...

Should You Always Tell Your Partner If You Cheated?
There are few relationship questions more hotly debated than whether or not you should confess to cheating in a monogamous relationship. The main arguments for fessing up is that honesty is always the best policy, and your partner deserves to choose for themselves whether or not to stay in the relat...

How To Buy Antiques, And Why
That’s right: antiques. Now, let me guess your Pavlovian response: drab chairs you wouldn’t trash-pick even without the bed-bug anxiety, grandmotherly floral couches in their eternal plastic seals, mildew mingling with stale perfume, and no delicious Swedish meatballs in sight. But you’ve got it all...
![What Are The Colts Doing? [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/kmmnxvqttwyhxud18dec.jpg)
What Are The Colts Doing? [Update]
It is a huge surprise that the Colts decided to stick with Chuck Pagano as head coach—he’s been a dead man walking for weeks, and very specific reports had Jim Irsay set to fire him at the close of a disappointing season. But the unexpectedness of Pagano’s retention pales in comparison to the absolu...

Even Disney Jr. Can't Escape The College Football Playoff Cross-Branding
We noted last night that ESPN corporate parent Disney shoved a bunch of hilariously bad references to the college football playoff games on New Year’s Eve into yesterday’s episode of General Hospital. Commenter JortReform noted that even Disney Jr. had been running tie-in promos, and we caught one o...

World Champion Skier Narrowly Escapes Death By Drone
Marcel Hirscher, the best alpine skier in the world, recently competed in a World Cup event in Madonna di Campiglio, Italy. A few seconds into his second slalom run, he was very nearly crushed by a falling camera drone....

<i>Infernal Affairs </i>Can't Escape <i>The Departed</i>'s Shadow, But Watch It Anyway
Hong Kong action-movie directors have picked up a lot from Martin Scorsese. Think of John Woo in particular: the brotherly criminal-underworld bonding in A Better Tomorrow, the gliding camera moves of The Killer, that endless and amazing tracking shot in Hard Boiled. When you consider that Woo basic...

A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

It Just Keeps Getting Worse For The Colts
It’s possible that an optimistic Colts fan could have found some hope in yesterday’s 27-21 loss to the Saints, which featured the Colts nearly coming back from a 27-point deficit before running out of time. But that would require one to ignore the first half, as well as the “heated conversation” tha...

That Troy Tulowitzki Ejection Sure Was Strange
MLB is lucky last night’s Royals-Blue Jays game was a victory for the Jays, because if the Royals had pulled ahead late and Troy Tulowitzki hadn’t been there to bat in the bottom of the ninth, all of Canada would be calling for home plate umpire John Hirschbeck’s head....

Stephen A. Smith Delivers Movie-Villain Monologue On <i>First Take</i>
Stephen A. Smith, ESPN’s professional unintelligible empanada truck, tried to drop exclusive information about Kevin Durant’s free agency last week. Durant scoffed, saying that he, his family, and his friends don’t talk to Smith. Smith had a rebuttal to that rebuttal, touting his supposed insider so...

How To Charm Everyone At Your New Job
Congratulations on your new place of employment! Next up: making a good first impression. You only have one shot, so show up on time, remember everyone’s names, and just be yourself, but not too yourself, if you get what we’re saying. Look, just don’t screw it up. This video should help. ...

Robert De Niro Redeems The Dopey Fantasy That Is <i>The Intern</i>
At a time when some romantic comedies are flexing an edgier, more smart-ass tone—They Came Together, Sleeping With Other People, even Trainwreck—perhaps it’s a refreshing palate-cleanser that Nancy Meyers movies continue to operate in their own storybook world. You know what to expect from the write...

Michael Carter-Williams Threw A Perfect First Pitch If He Was Aiming For The Cameraman
Bucks point guard Michael Carter-Williams threw out the first pitch at Thursday’s Brewers game, and it was accurate, provided that Carter-Williams was trying to hit the cameraman....

<i>First Blood </i>Is A Darker, Sadder, And Better Rambo Flick Than You Remember
The climax of 1982’s First Blood isn’t a gun battle or a knife fight. It’s Sylvester Stallone, as John Rambo, breaking down into big, blubbery tears, trying to make sense of the world around him. He’s learned that he’s the last surviving member of his elite fighting force, that America has no furthe...

How To Win The Fair
Who’s ready for a big, fat line of pure, uncut Americana? If you answered “yes” or “no” or did not answer at all out of fear and/or confusion, you’re in luck! Because it’s Fair Season, people, and you’re all invited. So grab your taste for sodium nitrates, and let’s get moving....