it Page 1009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
José Aldo Should Obviously Get An Immediate Rematch With Conor McGregor
A month and a half after getting flatlined by Conor McGregor with the first punch landed in the biggest fight of the year, former UFC featherweight titleholder José Aldo broke his silence last week, demanding that his next fight be for the featherweight strap and/or a rematch against McGregor. It’s ...
Martin O'Malley, A Stock Photo Of A Handsome Man, Ends His Presidential Bid
Generic man Martin O’Malley ended his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination last night. The Iowa caucus was rough on the former Baltimore mayor and Maryland governor: Once poll-workers sorted out the caucus-goers who thought they were standing in line to get their photo taken with “tha...
Jamie Vardy's Wondrous Volley Is One Of The Best Goals You'll See All Year
Yes, this is video of Jamie Vardy—who, despite all odds is still the Premier League’s leading scorer—sizing up a visionary pass by Riyad Mahrez—still one of the most dangerous players in all of England—and instead of doing the sensible thing and taking a touch to figure out what to do next, straight...
When Stadium Security Goes Bad
Last December, the University of Houston terminated its contract with Contemporary Services Corporation after the company’s security guards assaulted Cougars fans attempting to celebrate their team’s AAC championship. UH athletic director Hunter Yurachek stated he was “disappointed and angered” by t...
Motorized Doping, Explained: Your Guide To The Weirdest Sports Scandal Of The Year
This weekend, Femke Van den Driessche, a 19-year-old Belgian cyclocross racer, lined up at the U-23 World Championships. She’d previously won the Euros and the Belgian championships, and she was the favorite to get herself a set of rainbow stripes. But she had a bad race, and was forced to exit with...
Yaya Touré's Crazy-Ass Agent Is Talking Shit About Pep Guardiola And Man City Again
You know when a person is in a relationship and begins to sense that their significant other is losing interest, so that person starts raising hell, shouting about their own dissatisfaction and trying to spur a breakup on their own terms so as to convince themselves that it was actually they who wan...
The Terrible Calvin Johnson Rule Outlasted Calvin Johnson
If Calvin Johnson is indeed retiring, the NFL will be worse off for his absence. But he leaves it a different league than he found it, a much more confusing one for receivers, officials, and fans. Look at that photo above. Through no fault of Johnson’s, we now live in a world where that is not a cat...
Man, Vince Lombardi Really Dumped On The AFL After The First Super Bowl
One of those historic sports things I understand but don’t really get is the state of football leading up to the NFL-AFL merger. It was the first of the three big sports mergers over the next decade, and it’s absolutely alien to me: I’ve never lived through a successful competitor to a Big Four spor...
Man Improves Live Transfer Deadline Day Report With Enormous Inflatable Banana
This steely-eyed banana wielder, interrupting Sportitalia’s deadline day report outside Chelsea’s stadium, took it upon himself to carry on the proud tradition of the purple dildo guy. Only there was just so much the Italian reporter could take before turning the tables:...
Mitch Albom Goes On ESPN To Say Awful Things About Jameis Winston's Accuser
Yesterday, ESPN’s The Sports Reporters—holy shit! The Sports Reporters is still on?—featured wealthy fabulist Mitch Albom discussing the $950,000 settlement Florida State University paid to Erica Kinsman, the woman who accused Jameis Winston of raping her and later sued the university over its indif...
Olympic Marathon Trials: The Victory Lap For Pretty Darn Good Runners
Of the 259 women and 217 men who qualified for the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials, only about 10 in each field have an honest chance at finishing in the top three and going to Rio. But hundreds or even thousands more arranged the past four years of their lives around running a marathon or half-maratho...
Manchester City Confirm That Pep Guardiola Will Be Their Next Manager
As has been widely speculated for years now, and especially after the December announcement that Pep Guardiola would be stepping down as Bayern Munich manager at the end of this season, Manchester City have officially confirmed that Guardiola will take over for Manuel Pellegrini this summer....
If Calvin Johnson Is Retiring, This Is His Final Career NFL Touchdown
ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported today that Calvin Johnson told the Lions he is retiring. If ‘Megatron’ keeps his word, that leaves his career numbers as follows: 83 touchdowns on 731 receptions for 11,619 yards. Here’s the last touchdown he scored, on the final game of the 2015 season against the Bear...
ESPN Reports Calvin Johnson Told Lions He Is Retiring
ESPN’s Adam Schefter is reporting that Lions star receiver Calvin Johnson informed coach Jim Caldwell that he is retiring from the NFL. Schefter, citing sources, says Johnson told friends and family before the season that this would be his final one in the NFL—and told Caldwell the day after the reg...
Ex-World Sailing Chief Claims He Was Fired For Trying To Move Olympic Racing Out Of Shit-Filled Bay
The sailing events at the 2016 Rio Olympics are currently scheduled to take place in Guanabara Bay, which is full of shit. A German sailor has already been hospitalized after he reportedly contracted MRSA in a training event last August, and experts say “three teaspoons” of the bay’s water will be e...
Everything NBA Broadcasters Have Said About Jeremy Lin's Hair This Season
Jeremy Lin has enjoyed a solid year backing up Kemba Walker for the Charlotte Hornets. After the inferno that was Linsanity, he didn’t become a superstar, but he also did not drop off the face of the map. He’s just sort of a guy, a decent back up point guard on an okay team....
Knock That Shit Down
Clearly Reggie Rankin is familiar with the Bobcats’ awful shooting....
Chris Martin's Masterful Assist Sets Up Equalizer For Derby County
Manchester United is even 1-1 with Championship side Derby County at the half of their FA Cup match after George Thorne found the net courtesy a gorgeous over-the-top pass from Chris Martin....
Steph Curry Guaranteed A Victory, And Russell Westbrook Doesn't Seem Too Happy About It
Next Saturday, the Oklahoma City Thunder will play the Golden State Warriors for the first time this season. You may think this game is just a blip on the sports calendar, a solid NBA matchup meant to offer some small amusement to those of us looking for ways to pass the time until the Super Bowl. T...
Did You Already Abandon Your New Year's Resolution?
New York City’s record-breaking snowfall this past weekend would’ve been all the excuse I needed to break my New Year’s resolution, if I’d had one. I did notice it all around me, though: Those who’d committed to Sober January had “just one, because what else am I gonna do?” Those who’d vowed to defi...