it Page 1061 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Like You, Russell Wilson Is Not Having Sex
Just as you haven’t known the touch of another person in seemingly forever, a star NFL QB is also going through enforced virginity. But that’s where the similarities end: Russell Wilson is doing so as mandated by Jesus, instead of having it unilaterally forced upon him by the rest of the world....
So Why Did Jason Whitlock Bail On A <i>New York</i> Mag Profile?
New York magazine has a new 4,000-word feature on ESPN personality Jason Whitlock out, and while it offers a good (if familiar) rundown of Whitlock’s career and how he ended up getting fired from his own non-existent website before it even launched, it offers nothing first-hand from its subject. Wha...
U.S. Steeplechase Runner Evan Jager Eats It, Triumphs
On the Fourth of July in Paris, Evan Jager did something perfect. The 26-year-old American lined up for a 3,000-meter steeplechase against nearly all of the best steeplers in the world, and over the first five minutes of the race, he joined Kenyan stud Jairus Birech in running away from the entire f...
Enjoy <i>UFC </i>Glitches, Narrated By Fake Joe Rogan And Mike Goldberg
Even if you’ve never played EA’s UFC, or don’t care about MMA, you can still enjoy these glitches. The impressions of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg might not be as funny, but rest assured: they’re still wonderful and accurate....
People Who Hate Air Conditioning Are Commie Assholes
It’s summer again, which means it’s time for a whole new round of dirty hippie assholes smarming up the Internet with their anti-air conditioning takes. Even the Pope got in on it. NOT COOL, COOL POPE. Anyway, these air conditioning shamers are a scourge and they must be destroyed, starting with the...
Let's Explore The Corrupt Town That Inspired <i>True Detective </i>
How are you enjoying #TrueDetectiveSeason2 so far? It’s okay, right? I don’t know, maybe it kind of sucks. Anyway, if you’re like me, you’ve spent a good chunk of the first three episodes being a little confused by the city-corruption storyline. We’ve been told that there are a lot of “deals being d...
Rapper Secretly Uses Apple Store As A Recording Studio
It’s not that hard to fight the man! As long as you live in a city with an easily accessible Apple Store or two. Just ask Prince Harvey, a New York City rapper who recently recorded an entire new album for free on display computers in the SoHo Apple Store. ...
For 16 Minutes, Carli Lloyd Was The Greatest Player Of All Time
From the start, it felt like the fate of the United States women’s national team hinged not on talent or tactics or even luck, but on the answers to a series of open questions. Can Alex Morgan get healthy in time to contribute? What do we do with Christen Press and Sydney Leroux? What happens when w...
Rory McIlroy Injures Ankle Playing Soccer, British Open In Doubt
2014 Open champ Rory McIlroy may not be around to defend his title, after rupturing a ligament in his left ankle playing soccer this weekend....
Daytona Finish Features Massive, Horrifying Wreck
Tonight’s rain-delayed Coke Zero 400 at Daytona ended in a win for Dale Earnhardt Jr. but a terrifying finish for Austin Dillon, whose car ended upside down after tearing into the catch fence as the “big one” resulted in injuries to at least three spectators but, amazingly, no drivers. Here’s video ...
Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor
While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as air...
Carli Lloyd Scores Twice In First Five Minutes As U.S. Start On Fire
Carli Lloyd has already scored twice in the first five minutes of tonight’s Women’s World Cup final against Japan, both off set plays. This is the start of which U.S. fans could only dream....
Here Is Your 2015 Women's World Cup Final Liveblog
Here we go. The United States women’s national team is taking on Japan in the World Cup final. Follow along as we yell and jingoistically babble our way through the game while the Americans attempt to Do The Whole Shit for the first time since 1999....
![Jason Pierre-Paul Seriously Damaged Hand In Fireworks Accident [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1331767688127974183.jpg)
Jason Pierre-Paul Seriously Damaged Hand In Fireworks Accident [UPDATES]
Jason Pierre-Paul seriously injured his hand in a Saturday night fireworks accident, according to media reports. At least two people reported the Giants defensive end acquired an entire truck full of fireworks:...
Chuck Knoblauch Engages In Twitter Beef, Only Has Lame-Ass Burns
If you’re former second baseman Chuck Knoblauch and you want to engage in some weird Twitter beef, live your life, man. But if you’re former second baseman Chuck Knoblauch, and people are sick of your nonsense after you stopped being able to throw to first base and have had multiple domestic violenc...
Miguel Cabrera Heads To Disabled List For First Time In His Career
Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera has been placed on the disabled list for the first time in his career. Cabrera was placed on the 15-day DL but is expected to miss six weeks with a Grade 3 calf strain. ...
Matt Stonie Shocks World, Defeats Joey Chestnut
Matt Stonie consumed 62 hot dogs and buns en route to a stunning upset of eight-time hot dog eating champion Joey Chestnut, who officially consumed 60 in ten minutes. Our old pal Tim “Eater X” Janus came in third with 35. Anyway, look how happy Stonie appears to be!...
Woman Alleges Permanent Neck Injury Due To Marlins' Shark Attack
A lawsuit filed last month in Miami-Dade County court alleges a woman suffered serious and permanent injuries after being attacked by a fake shark during a 2013 Miami Marlins game. The Marlins, like most shitty (and a few good) teams, hold a mascot race between innings in a futile attempt to distrac...
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