it Page 1201 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Baseline Bathroom Standards: Let's Do This
The rise of AirBnB—and the existence of Airpnp, which allows you to tap-tap-tap on your tiny computer telephones and find a friendly bathroom in which to take a whiz when no acceptable public option is available—makes necessary a conversation about what amenities a bathroom should feature, and what ...
Marc-Andre Fleury Makes An Unreal, Tumbling Shootout Save
Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had a brilliant save in tonight's shootout against the Red Wings, rolling right and stretching his glove out just in time to catch Daniel Alfredsson's backhand attempt. The effort was impressive as hell....
Jeff Withey Completes The Rare Pass Off Of The Referee's Head
Pelicans center Jeff Withey's pass was swatted by Eric Bledsoe, right into the noggin of official Bennie Adams and back to Withey. You can hear the "doink!" sound in your head....
Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League
So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to a...
Gary Player Tells Story About Arnold Palmer Taking A Shit On A Green
Of all the things you expect to hear during the hours upon hours of televised Masters coverage, a story about Arnold Palmer taking a shit on a green during a tournament in Japan is not one of them. Thanks to Gary Player and Golf Channel, you can do exactly that....
Bartolo Colon Celebrates Strong Start By Jiggling His Belly
Bartolo Colon dominated the Braves last night, shutting them out over seven innings while striking out five. He also did this in the dugout....
Team MMA Is Somehow A Real Thing Now, And It's Fucking Great
Holy shit. Holy shit!...
Jose Abreu Makes His Big-League Splash With Two Homers
It didn't take long for Yasiel Puig and Yoenis Cespedes to go from being Cuban defectors shrouded in mystery to household names. Based on what he did last night, it looks like White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu, the latest Cuban-born star to arrive in the majors, is on a similar path to stardom....
Jaroslav Halak Doesn't Want To Face His Old Team
Tonight's Caps-Blues game sees a matchup between the West's best team and a club that's all but eliminated from playoff contention, one notable only for Washington goalie Jaroslav Halak's first chance to face his former team since being moved at the trade deadline. Except—Halak apparently wants no p...
Pitbull And J. Lo Team Up For The Official 2014 World Cup Anthem
Here it is, the song that you are going to be so damn sick and tired of hearing by the time the 2014 World Cup is over. Wrap your ears around Pitbull and J. Lo's "We Are One (Ole Ola)."...
Darren Rovell Narcs Out Guy Who Made Fun Of Him On Twitter
It starts with PFTCommenter doing his PFTCommenter thing:...
Israeli Basketball Is Kind Of Insane
This is what happened at the close of last night's chapter of Israel's biggest rivalry, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Hapoel Tel Aviv. After a close away win for Maccabi, center Sofoklis Schortsanitis—a former Clippers draft pick—charged into a hostile crowd to try to beat up a Hapoel fan. You can see the fa...
All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys
All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in...
UK Fan With "National Champions" Tattoo Taking It As You'd Expect
Sometimes, as with Seahawks Guy, an optimistic tattoo turns out to be prophetic. Other times (most times?) it turns out like it did for Kentucky fan Tyler Black, who went and got this "2014 Nati9nal Champions" tattoo before the tournament. After UConn defeated UK last night, let's check back in with...
UConn RA Will Not Tolerate Basketball Excitement On His Floor
Via Connecticut student Mike Mancini, what's purported to be an email some UConn students received from their floor's resident assistant ahead of tonight's National Championship game:...
Lacrosse Dad Sues Coaches For Not Playing His Son
Lacrosse: still the worst. The latest piece of evidence in support of this statement comes to us from the lacrosse fields of North Texas, where one man has filed a RICO lawsuit against the owners of the Dallas Lacrosse Academy, whom he claims are intimidating, threatening, and extorting players into...
Mickey Mantle's First Day In The Big Leagues
Here's Red Smith on Mickey Mantle's first day in the big leagues....
Behold Weezer Doing Their Best Song In Jack White's Phone Booth
Yes, "Susanne." The answer to your question is "Susanne." I would disable Kinja if I could, to prevent anyone from even contesting this. Anyways, here we see Weezer (their lineup much scrambled since this tune graced the Mallrats soundtrack in 1995) re-recording it in Jack White's tiny, weird straig...
Conservative Christians Vs. Anti-Vaxxers: Who’s The Bitchiest?
At long last, we have reached the final of our Bitchy Bracket bonanza, and it's a doozy. After seeing Red Sox Nation and Team Breezy and gun nuts and vegans and Beliebers and many other strong candidates fall, we are left with two of the most screeching factions of American society to duke it out....