it Page 498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arsenal are looking pretty tasty
Last August, Arsenal lost their first three matches, by a combined score of 9-0, including ultra-humbling ass-whoopings by Chelsea (just about the only time Romelu Lukaku looked menacing with Chelsea) and City. The Gunners would recover, of course, only to break their fans’ hearts in even more agoni...

UFC has its moments
I feel like if I ever write about the UFC it’ll be treated like Walter Slobchak dressing down Donnie about walking into the middle of a movie. So when I walked into a friend’s house with a semi serious interest in the Kamaru Usman-Leon Edwards fight, I only knew as much as I gleaned from proofing th...

Sad Diego: Padres underperforming and underwhelming post-deadline
On paper, the San Diego Padres got better at the trade deadline. In reality, they’ve gotten worse — and are very quickly becoming the laughingstock of the MLB....

The Yankees know better than to play three- or even two-card Monty
It’s no secret. The Yankees have been awful in the month of August. Since the trade deadline Aug. 2, the once mighty Yankees have gone 3-12 (at the time of writing this), have yet to win a series, and have been outscored by 23 runs. Is it the curse of Joey Gallo? Perhaps. After all, the two-time All...

Brady’s mysterious absence from camp another reason he should have stayed retired
Tom Brady is selfish....

The Bears have failed Justin Fields
When the Chicago Bears traded up to draft Justin Fields with the 11th overall pick two years ago, fans in the Windy City were ecstatic, believing that their savior had arrived. All the team needed to do now was mentor him up, give him some protection and weapons, and let him fly. With less than a mo...

Dana White upset because people paid attention to something he said
Typical Dana White. He gets asked a question, or is reminded of something that he doesn’t like, and he throws an adult temper tantrum. He yells, curses a mile a minute, and defiantly points his finger like Rafael Palmeiro in front of Congress. All to convince you that he is right because he is the U...

There are only two faces on this week’s Mount Rushmore of stupidity
Have you ever witnessed an argument so stupid you’d rather not pick a side? I’m sure parents with multiple kids know what I’m talking about, repeating “Leave me out of it” until they inevitably have to intervene because, you know, children. Still, nothing irks a parent like having to rule on who get...

Redditor, fantasy football analyst speculate Brady’s absence due to ‘Masked Singer’ taping
After his 40-day retirement this offseason, 45-year-old Tom Brady should be chomping at the bit to get training camp work in with his offensive line and receiving corps, right? Wrong. He’s been noticeably absent. He’s up to something and I don’t think it’s extra time with Gisele and the kids....

CM Punk played himself
The honeymoon period with CM Punk in All Elite Wrestling has been over for a long time. It easily ceased before this week’s drama unfolded. He’s had to sink or swim based on what his current ability is for several months. If Punk was just a nostalgia act, he’d leave AEW head-honcho Tony Khan with no...

Not everyone listens when Tiger speaks
I’m just going to rip the duct tape off here because to put it delicately would lessen my point: Tiger Woods doesn’t have the moral high ground to tell anybody what to do. He has every authority in every other aspect of the LIV argument — 15 major wins, status in the game, still (kind of) playing, a...

Deshaun Watson’s suspension was weak because players still refuse to stand up for women
Silence can be ear-splitting....

Ben Simmons handles 'heckler' while candy shopping
If you’re looking for Ben Simmons, you won’t find him on an NBA court, that’s for sure. If you’re lucky enough, you just might sneak up on him in a candy store rummaging through the selection. Comedian Gerald Huston walked up on Simmons and decided to give the NBA star a hard time calling him Russel...

It’s time for the Chargers to shine in Hollywood
The Los Angeles Chargers are officially in win-now mode after a big offseason that’s seemingly flown under the radar. LA made moves to bulk up their defense and spent big bucks to ensure they’ve at least got a shot at competing in the AFC over the next couple of years. But this two-to-three-year win...

No surrender in Calgary
One of the familiar tropes in the NHL is the “poor ol’ Canadian team.” Lord Stanley’s chalice hasn’t been parked north of the border in 29 years, and there must be a reason for it. After all, the first two Great Bettman Lockouts were somewhat based on the fact that Canadian teams couldn’t have their...
![Browns owner thinks talent trumps alleged transgressions after Watson receives 'punishment' [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/12ac94b2977f962fd9a0ac2ea77df597.jpg)
Browns owner thinks talent trumps alleged transgressions after Watson receives 'punishment' [Updated]
The NFL increased embattled Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson’s suspension to 11 games, a $5 million fine, and mandatory counseling on Thursday, per multiple reports, settling his personal conduct case. The league didn’t wait on former New Jersey attorney general Peter Harvey’s decisio...

What to watch in college football's Week One
Anyone else so excited that we’ll have college football in less than two weeks that they could throw up? No? Just me? Well, maybe you’ll be excited enough to read our Week One previews for the 2022 season (that starts in 10 days! AAHHHH!). Labor Day weekend is going to be one of those Saturdays wher...
