it Page 755 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Forget That Rams Owner Stan Kroenke Is A Shitbird With Bad Hair
For what feels like the 74th straight season but is actually the third, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl. Everyone hates them, for a suite of reasons both worthwhile and petty. While I still would like the Rams to win out of spite, in the abstract, a Super Bowl championship for owner Stan Kroenke ...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
What Does Miguel Almirón’s Record Transfer Mean For The MLS?
You see what you want to see when you look at Miguel Almirón’s reported MLS-record $27 million transfer to the Premier League’s Newcastle United....
Notts County Owner Accidentally Tweets Dong Shot, Announces Intent To Sell Team, Says The Two Are Unrelated
Before this weekend, English businessman Alan Hardy owned both Notts County, a fourth-tier English soccer club, and a penis the vast majority of the world had never seen. After his accidentally revealing tweet on Sunday, both of those facts will need to be revised....
Naomi Osaka Found Herself In Danger, Turned Into A Robot, And Held It Down
It could have unraveled so quickly for Naomi Osaka. Up a set and 5-3, having whittled Petra Kvitova’s service game down to 0-40, Osaka had three straight opportunities to claim her first Australian Open. None of them got her there. First Kvitova tore the court open with her fiercest groundstrokes, l...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Patrick Mahomes Cared Enough About His Pro Bowl Performance To Drop An F-Bomb On Live TV
One of the feeble attempts at making the Pro Bowl seem somewhat interesting has been broadcasting quarterback cadences and conversations as they’re on the field. But even that nearly fell apart....
Report: Washington Will Be "Pleasantly Surprised" If Alex Smith Is Ready To Play Next Season
Washington is going into its offseason preparations with the expectation that starting quarterback Alex Smith will not be available to play next year, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport....
![Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fvojgonn3udv0m4czjjk.jpg)
Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]
In what can only be described as the smallest of hat tips to diversity and inclusion, U.S. women’s national team hockey player Brianna Decker was brought out to demonstrate the premier passing drill at the NHL All-Star skills event on Friday. While the league never bothered to show her demonstration...
Sheffield United's Billy Sharp Celebrates Goal With Mr. Socko
Despite the best efforts of Norwich keeper Tim Krul to disrupt Billy Sharp’s focus before his penalty kick, the Sheffield United striker scored from the spot to give his time a 1-0 lead to end the first half of play. Sharp, one of the most prolific scorers at the senior English league level, ran ove...
You Can't Get There From Here
“It’s not going to change a damn thing,” the President of the United States told an assemblage of news anchors at an off-the-record White House meeting some weeks ago. “But I’m still doing it.” To a certain extent, that groaning is just standard Trump shit—his signature all-caps triumphalism is bala...
Curt Schilling Goes On Radio, Melts Down As He Defends Liking And Sharing Memes
In his sixth go-round, former baseball pitcher Curt Schilling received 60.9 percent in the Hall of Fame vote. He’s on pace to get in within his 10 years of eligibility. (Though this blog argues for his induction, I don’t personally care if he does and hope he doesn’t. Why? Because fuck him, that’s w...
Cashless Stadiums Are The Next Frontier In Fan Exploitation
The Tampa Bay Rays announced today that they would become the first major American sports team to stop accepting cash at their stadium, forcing fans to either pay via credit card or something called a “Rays card.” This shift is roughly coterminous with their recent decision to eliminate 5,000 of the...
Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...
Steven Adams Unleashes World's Worst Euro-Step
Steven Adams is a big heavy metal-looking Kiwi monster who does cool basketball things all the time, and this season he’s played his way into serious All-Star consideration by being efficient as shit and co-anchoring one of the NBA’s best defenses. Mostly he’s stayed pretty chill through all this, b...
All Hail The Rafael Nadal Banana Shot
Rafael Nadal gored YouTuber Stefanos Tsitsipas 6-2, 6-4, 6-0 today. Their Australian Open semifinal match took just 1:46, but in that span the winner erected a monument to one of tennis’s historic shots: the Rafa banana forehand. Above is as pristine a specimen as has ever appeared in nature....
Derek Carr Seeks Dana White's Help In Challenging Max Kellerman To An "Octagon Fight"
Let us now embark on a tortuous NFL offseason journey that includes all of our favorite dummies and involves a starting quarterback trying to challenge two-thirds of First Take to an “octagon fight.”...
Blake Griffin Vents About The Pistons' Focus, Right Before Reggie Jackson Goofs Around For The Camera
The spiritual sequel to Dwight and Stan isn’t as consequential as the original, but it’s nonetheless compelling....
Frustrated Young Knick Allonzo Trier Slides Into Twitter DMs To Defend His Effort
The Knicks dropped a narrow one at home to the Houston Rockets Wednesday night. Afterward, several Knicks fans, already all aboard the Zion Williamson tank, tweeted their gratitude for some extremely butt point-of-attack defense that let Eric Gordon waltz into a game-winning three-pointer. Here’s th...
Let's Remember Some Guys Who Threw Terrible Passes At Larry Fitzgerald
Larry Fitzgerald is not ready to sit at home and get better at trolling his son. Today the Arizona Cardinals announced that the wide receiver would return for another season, his 16th with the team....