it Page 793 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Braves Pitcher Sean Newcomb Loses No-Hitter With Two Outs And Two Strikes In Ninth Inning
Oh, this was brutal. Braves second-year lefty Sean Newcomb—who’d never pitched a complete game, and who’d never pitched more than seven innings in a start, and who’d never thrown more than 111 pitches—gave up his first hit Sunday afternoon on a 2-2 single with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inn...
Jacob DeGrom Is The Very Human Embodiment Of Futility
There’s a point in every typical Mets season when their astonishingly dependable ineptitude tips over from being a source of amusement to being a source of genuinely unpleasant secondhand embarrassment. Probably for Mets fans that moment reliably passes before the first day of summer; for the rest o...
Craven Columnist: Various Circus Clowns Say Jimmy Garoppolo Should Not Date A Porn Actress
Several great-grandparents were deeply scandalized this month by the revelation that 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo had dinner with porn actress Kiara Mia, despite it being 2018 and there just being nothing lamer than wringing your hands over the social life of a fucking football player....
Outfielder Carlos Gomez Takes Mound, Pitches Exactly Like Non-Pitcher
The position-player-as-pitcher trend continues piling up numbers at a record pace. Three more position players took the mound Friday night; the total across MLB is now up to 45, by far the most ever for a full season, and it’s still July. One of the recent unfortunate fellows was Rays outfielder Ca...
MLB Tweets, Deletes Dumb, Sweaty, Racist Joke About Ichiro And Shohei Ohtani
Someone on Major League Baseball’s social media crew tweeted and then quickly deleted a joke Friday night comparing an image of Ichiro and Shohei Ohtani greeting each other to a meme showing two cartoon Spider-Men pointing at each other in mutual recognition and surprise:...
Dez Bryant Is Going Off On The Cowboys And Sean Lee
How are you spending your Friday evening? Free agent wide receiver Dez Bryant is spending his ripping the Cowboys—most notably shithead VP Stephen Jones, linebacker Sean Lee, and offensive tackle Travis Frederick—to shreds....
Sad Irish Soccer Feud Shows The Revolution Ain't Over Yet
A massive and fascinating sports brouhaha has been going on in Ireland this week. The roots of the squabble, as with all good Irish squabbles, go back centuries and can largely be blamed on the goddamn Brits. And also Ed Sheeran....
Andrelton Simmons Lucked Into A Little League Homer Because He Was Playing The White Sox
Andrelton Simmons, the best defensive shortstop in the Majors since he made his debut in 2012, has had a career year at the plate this season, with a slashline of .305/.362/.427 that is on pace to shatter his previous career-highs. On Thursday against the White Sox, he bumped up his slugging percent...
Papa John Will See Those Papa John's Traitors In Court
Papa “John” Schnatter will not take his ousting from his own company without a fight. Today the disgraced pizza hawker filed a complaint to see the Papa John’s books and records, so he could determine what led up to his resignation as chairman....
Jon Heyman's Fingers Are Interfering With His MLB Scoops<em></em>
Fancred baseball scoopster Jon Heyman was either overwhelmed by the Brewers’ trade for reliever Joakim Soria, or his fingers were covered in Horsey sauce, because he had a lot of trouble reporting out the transaction....
Jameis Winston Says He Has "Grown And Learned" From The Experience Of Grabbing An Uber Driver's Crotch
Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston will miss the first three games of the upcoming season after being suspended for groping an Uber driver. As part of the terms of the suspension, Winston apologized to the driver for “the position he put her in.” All this came after Winston initially denied the d...
What Does Todd Gurley's New Contract Mean For Le'Veon Bell?
The Steelers’ veteran players report for training camp today. Running back Le’Veon Bell will not be among them. ...
Report: Celtics Assistant Coach Jerome Allen Allegedly Bribed By Accused Medicare Fraudster While At Penn
A Miami Beach business executive charged with running a billion-dollar Medicare fraud scheme allegedly bribed then-Quakers head coach and current Celtics assistant Jerome Allen to get his son admitted to the University of Pennsylvania, according to a new indictment reported by the Miami Herald:...
18-Year-Old University Of Maine Freshman Football Player Dies After Collapsing During Preseason Workout
Darius Minor, an 18-year-old freshman defensive back on the University of Maine football team, died Tuesday during a preseason workout, per a report on the university’s website:...
Joe Musgrove Reminds Us That Pitchers Can Be Fielders, Too
Pitchers have both the toughest and perhaps the most dangerous job in baseball, so it’s unfair for us to rag on them too much if they choose to get the hell out of the way whenever a hitter puts a ball in play. They should let those lazy fielders do their part!...
Too Many Position Players Are Pitching Now
41 position players have pitched in a big-league game this season. By my count, 28 different position players have taken the mound since the start of June. This is too many! A good thing is being spoiled, here....
Urban Meyer Was Aware Of Ohio State Coach's 2009 Domestic Violence Arrest
Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer told reporters that he was aware of former receiver coach Zach Smith’s 2009 domestic violence arrest while Smith was working for Meyer as a grad assistant at Florida....
SafeSport, The USOC's Attempt To Stop Child Abuse, Is Set Up To Fail—Just Like It Was Supposed To
As he was questioned by lawyers in 2015 over and over again about what he did and did not know about sexual abuse suffered by Olympic athletes, then-U.S. Olympic Committee lawyer Gary Johansen made a choice. No matter the question, no matter which lawyer asked it, Johansen did not say “child abuse,”...
Ohio State Fires Assistant Coach Zach Smith Following Ex-Wife's Domestic Violence Protection Order
Ohio State has reportedly fired wide receivers coach Zach Smith, three days after his ex-wife filed a domestic violence civil protection order against him, and just about two months after Smith was charged with criminal trespassing in mid May. OSU’s statement was brief:...
How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...