it Page 814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Only Point Of Track’s Dumb New Testosterone Rules Is To Make It Illegal To Be Caster Semenya<em></em>
Track and field’s international governing body announced this morning that women who compete internationally in events from 400 meters to the mile will have to maintain natural testosterone levels below a certain limit in order to be eligible to compete. (Those with more testosterone will be require...
Russell Westbrook Brought The Thunder Back
The Thunder weren’t supposed to get this one. Down 3-1 in their first-round series against the Jazz, and down by as many as 25 points as late as the middle of the third quarter tonight, this elimination game felt pretty damn close to a foregone conclusion. Until it felt like something else—a ridicul...
Leonys Martín Hits Dong, Then Hits Dong
Leonys Martín led off today’s Tigers-Pirates game with a big home run, but it came at a price. On the fourth pitch of the game, Martín ricocheted a pitch off the plate into his dick and balls. He rolled around for two minutes afterward and had a hard time standing back up....
Congrats To The Tennis Integrity Unit Investigator Who Used "Tsunami" To Describe The Level Of Cheating In The Sport
An independent review panel tasked with evaluating corruption and match fixing in professional tennis, mostly in the lower levels of the sport, has finally released a report that essentially says there is a whole lot of corruption and match-fixing in professionl tennis, mostly in the lower levels of...
<i>Varsity Blues </i>Can't Decide How It Feels About The Cult Of High School Football
Varsity Blues works as long as you don’t think about it too hard. Which, I readily admit, probably means it works exactly as well as intended....
Ronald Guzmán Does The Dang Splits
The impressive wingspan of Texas Rangers rookie Ronald Guzmán has earned him the nickname The Condor, which doesn’t exactly conjure up an image of flexibility or litheness, but the first baseman embodied just those qualities during tonight’s sixth inning with a picture-perfect split:...
JuJu Smith-Schuster's Dog Cannot Be Contained
Meet Boujee, the six-month-old French bulldog puppy of Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster. Say hello to Boujee. Despite having the standard breathing issues of his breed, he’s a decent athlete with a real nose for the ball. Check out his vertical leap. ...
Turn Your Mango Into A Delicious Hedgehog, And Conquer It At Last
So much of your life is impossible to give order to. A mango is not one of those things. It may seem like one, big gooey lump that it is, but it is not. It can be given perfect geometric clarity with just a few tactical blade strokes. I can’t recommend solving many of your other problems this way, b...
Ex-NFL Cheerleaders Offer To Settle Discrimination Suit Against The NFL If Roger Goodell Agrees To Meeting
Last month, former Saints cheerleader Bailey Davis filed a discrimination complaint against the NFL after she was fired for posting an Instagram photo of herself in a bathing suit. The photo violated a Saints rule forbidding cheerleaders from “appearing nude, seminude or in lingerie,” which is an eq...
Veteran Fighter Leslie Smith Says UFC Cut Her Because Of Her Union Organizing Efforts
Pro MMA veteran Leslie Smith was supposed to fight on last weekend’s UFC Fight Night card, but her bout with Aspen Ladd was scrapped under strange circumstances. Ladd weighed in 1.8 pounds over the limit, claiming that “certain female circumstances” kept her from being able to cut weight. Smith init...
Here We Go Again
With their 4-2 series win over Columbus, the Capitals are going to play in their seventh second-round playoff series in the last 11 years. That’s incredible! Don’t ask how they did in those second-round series....
The Thunder Hit Rock Bottom, Where They Found A Gloating Mitt Romney
If you want a tangible explanation for why the Oklahoma City Thunder are down 3-1 in their playoff series against the Jazz and seem destined for a first-round exit, take your pick: Rudy Gobert has effectively canceled out Russell Westbrook’s ability to drive to the hoop; Russell Westbrook has no jum...
Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"
Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more imp...
White Sox Reliever Danny Farquhar Is "In The Fight Of His Life" After Brain Hemorrhage
Friday’s Astros-White Sox game took a suddenly tragic turn in the sixth inning when Chicago reliever Danny Farquhar vomited and collapsed in the dugout. He was rushed to a local hospital, where tests confirmed that he’d suffered a brain hemorrhage and was in stable but critical condition. A few days...
We're All Very Lucky We Don't Have To Watch Another Flyers Game For Six Months
No sport really needs four rounds of playoffs. Sure, you get the occasional good first-round series, but mostly it’s about weeding out the fatally flawed teams before they have a chance to shit up the later rounds, which in theory should be quality hockey all-around. The Flyers are out of the playof...
The Punishment For Pitching A No-Hitter Must Be Swift And Severe
A’s pitcher Sean Manaea no-hit the Boston Red Sox Saturday evening. It was Manaea’s third win in five starts, and Oakland’s fifth win in six games. Manaea had some help on the no-hit part from the umps and the scorekeeper, but the gem was a gem even if you happened to think Sandy Leon’s bloop to sha...
Grim And Gritty Ricky Rubio Has The Thunder On The Ropes
It can be a little disorienting to remind yourself that grim and gritty Ricky Rubio, the veteran point guard of the Utah Jazz, has played exactly the same number of playoff games over the course of his NBA career as Donovan Mitchell has. Rubio, whose transformation from doe-eyed, baby-faced sidekick...
Surging Red Sox Abruptly Shut Down By No-Hitter By Oakland's Sean Manaea<em></em>
Sean Manaea, a rare bright spot on an otherwise mediocre A’s squad, threw the seventh no-hitter in team history against a Red Sox lineup that has averaged more than six runs a game this season. ...
White Sox Reliever Danny Farquhar In Critical Condition After Suffering Brain Hemorrhage Between Innings
White Sox reliever Danny Farquhar fainted in the dugout in the middle of the sixth inning of Friday’s loss to the Houston Astros, and was taken to a local hospital for what was described initially as “a precaution.”...
Dead Letters: "Now Start Your Down Fall"<em></em>
Subject: Pro-Trump...