it Page 822 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
16 Beats 1: UMBC Shocks Virginia
The University of Maryland, Baltimore County Retrievers of the America East conference made history tonight, leveraging lights-out shooting and aggressive rebounding to become the first 16-seed to ever upset a #1 in the NCAA men’s tournament in annihilating Virginia 74-54....
South Dakota State Forces OT With Three-Point Buzzer-Beater
The men’s tournament isn’t the only source of drama as South Dakota State’s Madison Guebert drilled an off-balance three-pointer to force overtime against Villanova in the Jackrabbits’ first-round matchup tonight at Notre Dame....
PSL Holders Sue The Jets For Screwing Them Over
Personal seat licenses are a racket, and a common feature in NFL stadiums. PSLs were instituted across much of the league when the new stadium boom took off around the dawn of this century. They allow teams to offset construction and financing costs by forcing fans into paying a fee just for the ri...
Alex Smith Sure Likes This Word, Right?
Kirk Cousins is now on the Vikings, right? Which means that Washington will go as far as Alex Smith will take them, right? That’ll be tricky since Dan Snyder’s hell franchise is such a snakepit, right? Good thing he’s up for the challenge, right?...
Pitt Basketball Players Are Abandoning Ship
A week after Pitt fired unsuccessful basketball coach Kevin Stallings, a whole bunch of players want out. Freshman stud Parker Stewart requested his release yesterday, and ESPN’s Jeff Goodman reports today that over half of the Pitt roster has done the same. Pitt’s top recruit is also steering clear...
Chairlift Becomes Possessed By Satan, Wigs The Fuck Out<em></em>
If you’ve ever been skiing, you know that falling off the chairlift is everyone’s worst nightmare. Ah, but what if I told you there’s a whole other KIND of worst chairlift nightmare, one in which the chairlift cries out FUCK THIS, shifts into Hard Reverse, and begins depositing skiers onto the bott...
ESPN Paid The Air Force Almost $75,000 For Food, And Other Random Things From A Military Invoice
At the beginning of this college basketball season, ESPN brought Texas A&M and West Virginia all the way to Germany for a game at Ramstein Air Base. For the entire trip, ESPN Productions, Inc. paid the Air Force a total of $140,129.45, according to an invoice obtained via Freedom of Information Act ...
Another Iditarod Means Another Dead Dog
Alaskan musher Katherine Keith had one of her sled dogs, Blonde, die during the Iditarod yesterday. Last year, one of her dogs died as well. Last year, five dogs died, and since the race began in 1973, over 150 dogs have died....
<i>Sports Illustrated </i>Writer: The Vikings Took My Advice And Signed Kirk Cousins
Here is Sports Illustrated writer and tape-eater extraordinaire Andy Benoit crafting a lead that is the columnist’s version of inviting you into his office just as he finishes off a set of 500 pushups:...
World Rejoices As Shitty Manchester United Team Knocked Out Of Champions League
Yesterday’s Manchester United-Sevilla Champions League match was the best game of the knockout rounds thus far. Not because these are two particularly great teams competing—they both are pretty bad—nor because they played especially well—the game was largely awful. No, this match was great for prett...
Sky Sports Suspends Jamie Carragher For Rest Of Season After Drive-By Spitting
After video emerged of ex-Liverpool star Jamie Carragher hocking a loogie at the car of a taunting driver and his daughter last weekend, Sky Sports announced that it had suspended Carragher—now one of its pundits—indefinitely while the company investigated the incident. Today, Sky has handed down it...
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Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
Congressional Candidate Doesn't Want To Talk About The Time He Cheated To Win The NCAA Hockey Title<em></em>
Pete Stauber is the Republican candidate in the upcoming election for Minnesota’s 8th Congressional District. His policy positions are pretty standard fare for a Republican: He voiced support for the rock-dumb tax bill and is pro-mining and anti-environmentalist to the point that he unironically wro...
Tom Brady Chugs "Beer" On <i>Late Show</i>
Tom Brady visited The Late Show with Stephen Colbert tonight, accepting the host’s challenge to chug a “beer.” We put the beverage in scare quotes because there’s a decent question as to what, exactly, the Super Bowl-losing quarterback actually quaffed....
Police: Broncos DE Adam Gotsis Charged With Rape
Denver Broncos defensive end Adam Gotsis has been charged with rape in Atlanta, according to police. He was arrested last week and is out on bail....
Report: Louisville Players Voted Not To Play In NIT, But They're Going Anyway
The Louisville Cardinals kick off their NIT run Tuesday night, but the players might not have any desire to play in college basketball’s less exciting tournament. According to the Courier-Journal, players were “emotionally exhausted” from the program’s tumultuous season which featured an escort scan...
Jose Altuve's Day At The White House Looked Pretty Awkward
The Houston Astros visited the White House today to be honored for their 2017 World Series win, which puts reasonable-minded players in a bit of a pickle. The traditional post-championship White House visit is a potentially once-in-a-lifetime honor. Having to tolerate Donald Trump in the flesh and b...
Seahawks Players Accosted By Woman: "Get Off Your Fucking Knees"
Seattle Seahawks cornerback Neiko Thorpe took a video of a crazy person who yelled at him and teammate Mike Tyson about their apparent disrespect for the American flag....