it Page 835 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet The Crazy New Yorkers Who Completed Five Triathlons In Five Days
Why? That’s the first question people always ask. Why would you want to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112, and then run a marathon? Why would you do it five days in a row? Why would you plan the whole thing yourself? In the five boroughs? In the middle of June?...

Romelu Lukaku Did Not Leave Everton Because Of "Voodoo"
Farhad Moshiri, the majority shareholder of Everton, took some time at a shareholders’ meeting yesterday to explain, according to him, why his club could not convince former Toffee and current Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku not to leave last summer. Moshiri’s bizarre explanation—that Lukaku...

Investigation Finds Reggie Lynch Responsible For Another Sexual Assault, Recommends Expulsion
Last week, the University of Minnesota’s Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action office found center Reggie Lynch “responsible” for a “sexual misconduct incident” that took place on April 28, 2016. Lynch was suspended until 2020, pending an appeal. As the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported this aftern...

Bills GM Says Richie Incognito's Alleged Racist Slurs Were "A Misunderstanding"
Bills offensive guard Richie Incognito was accused by Jaguars defensive end Yannick Ngakoue of using racist slurs during Jacksonville’s playoff defeat of Buffalo on Sunday. But Bills GM Brandon Beane didn’t seem to think much of any potential in-game exchange between the two....

May All Your Failures End Up As Serendipitously As This Soccer Coach's Attempt To Lean Against A Fence
I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on purpose with the poise and commitment that Marius Sumudica, manager of the Turkish soccer team Kayserispor, brings to playing off this accidental fall so that it looks like he intended all along to lower himself into a metal hammock. Seems comfy. ...

Help Us Figure Out What Donald Trump And Arthur Blank Are Talking About
If you happened to choose the ESPN “Cool Room” feed of last night’s national championship game—among your 19 other choices—you may have noticed the hosts dancing around discussing a conversation taking place between Donald Trump and Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank. That video wasn’t aired on the ...

What The World's Most Famous Amateur Can Teach Pro Runners
At just 30 years old, Yuki Kawauchi is in a distance running category of his own. As of January 1, he has run the most sub-2:20 marathons of anyone, ever—76. He’s also run the most sub-2:12 marathons of anyone, ever—25. Kawauchi—one guy—has run more sub-2:10 marathons since 2011 than the whole Unite...

On Final Play, Tua Tagovailoa Took Everything Georgia Gave Him<em></em>
Tua Tagovailoa turned the Alabama offense into something it hasn’t been in living memory: fun. The true freshman, cannon-armed, fleet-legged quarterback who hadn’t played a snap of football that wasn’t in garbage time came on at halftime against Georgia and utterly transformed the moribund Crimson T...

What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...

The National Park Service Will Be Run By The Guy Who Helped Dan Snyder Cut Down Public Trees To Improve His River View<em></em>
As fits a government that could already boast a head of the Department of Energy who wants to do away with the Department of Energy and a secretary of education who favors homeschooling over public schools, a guy renowned for desecrating park lands will now be running the National Park Service. P. D...

Nick Kyrgios Played Nice And Won
The defining experience of watching Nick Kyrgios play tennis is waiting for his Moment—the bad line call, or double-fault, or unseen internal implosion that irrevocably derails a fine match. In that sense, and in that sense only, his first tournament of the year would have left you twiddling your t...

René Magritte As Philosophical Detective
This essay was originally published in the Threepenny Review (1994), is featured in Sante’s anthology, Kill All Your Darlings, and appears here with the author’s permission....

Cowardly President Diaper Donald Reportedly Won't Do ESPN Interview At National Championship Game. Sad!
If you have been paying literally any attention to the news over the last day or the last week or really the last many years, you are well aware that Donald Trump is profoundly stupid and/or mentally ill and/or suffering from (not even early-onset, but just regular-old-onset, he’s 71 years old) deme...

Jaguars' Yannick Ngakoue Accuses Richie Incognito Of Using "Racist Slurs"<em></em>
Jaguars defensive end Yannick Ngakoue accused Bills guard Richie Incognito of using racial slurs during Sunday’s 10-3 Jacksonville win:...

Marcus Mariota Throws Touchdown Pass To Himself
The Tennessee Titans are somehow still in this wild card game against the Chiefs thanks to Marcus Mariota throwing a touchdown pass to himself, entirely legally. PLAYOFFS, BABY. We believe this is only the second time this has ever happened in NFL history; here’s the first, in 1997:...
![Travis Kelce Leaves Wild Card Game After Suffering Apparent Head Injury [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/byliak4yhbe2e5dnufsl.gif)
Travis Kelce Leaves Wild Card Game After Suffering Apparent Head Injury [UPDATE]
A helmet-to-helmet hit left Travis Kelce dazed and knocked the All-Pro tight end out of the Chiefs’ wild-card blowout against the Tennessee Titans....

Ball Brothers’ Lithuanian Team Abandons Baltic League To Play Family Shoe-Branded Exhibition<em></em>
Who’s ready for the debuts of LaMelo and LiAngelo Ball??? Hopefully not fans of the Baltic League, because Vytautas Prienai announced today that they’d be pulling out of the Baltic Sea region’s second-most prestigious tournament to play in something called the Big Baller Brand Challenge Games, which...

Deion Sanders Denies Shelving Florida Recruits At All-America Game Due To FSU Bias
Deion Sanders serves as one of the coaches at an annual high school football All-America game, though it seems that not all of his players were pleased with the (mostly ceremonial) job he did. Dual-threat quarterback Emory Jones, ranked as the fourth-best player in Georgia by ESPN, tossed just three...

There Is Now An App For Triple Crown Ratio Lines On Bad Tweets, And It Rules
You are familiar, at this point, with how this all goes. Some verified foof on Twitter gets something grandly, gratingly wrong and then it gets...noticed. We are far enough along in the online part of our endless civilizational deadfall that we even have a name for this, now: that Bad Tweet and its...
