it Page 863 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report Says Minnesota Followed The Rules In Sexual Assault Investigation, Dumps On "Weak Leadership" By Football Staff
An external review of the University of Minnesota’s sexual assault investigation last year found that the school complied with federal law and institutional policy throughout. But it also noted “weak leadership” and poor communication by the football coaching staff as partially responsible for the t...
Errant First Pitch At Red Sox Game Nails Photographer In The Dick And Balls
Maybe this dude shouldn’t have been urged to “fire it in there,” because boy did he ever fire it (the baseball) in there (this dude’s dick and balls)....
Marco Asensio Just Wrecked Barcelona So Hard They Should Just Shut Down The Club
Here lies FC Barcelona, a formerly famed and hallowed soccer club that not too long ago was on the top of the world but through the capriciousness of one of its ex-stars, the borderline criminal mismanagement of those charged with run it, and the ruthlessly cruel manner in which their rivals Real Ma...
The Fallout From Sportswriting's Filthiest Fuck-Up
The article hangs on a wall in my office. I am actually staring at it as I write this—it is taped, slightly crooked, to the white paint above my desk, positioned between a Chicago Blitz bumper sticker, a picture of my mother’s late Uncle John, and a photograph from the 1987 Mahopac High School fresh...
The Miserable Familiarity Of Nazis In America
It was the cruel efficiency of the Holocaust that always shook me—the way, as you listen to the stories of concentration camp survivors, the patterns emerge. It started with a few rules, here and there, and people saying things would be fine. They took away one right, then another, then another, and...
Robinson Moncada, A Precious Little Beam Of Human Sunshine, Is King Of The Sports Babies
Sports babies, generally, are good. A replacement-level sports baby is still one who is adorable and funny and gloriously chubby-cheeked, and a sub-replacement-level sports baby is still probably going to make you aww at least once. But a truly great sports baby? A truly great sports baby is on anot...
Ian Kinsler Thinks Angel Hernandez Needs A New Job: "It's Pretty Obvious That He Needs To Stop Ruining Baseball Games"
Tigers second baseman Ian Kinsler got himself ejected very quickly yesterday, after saying what appeared to be just a few choice words to umpire Angel Hernandez about a first-strike call. (Yeah, a first-strike call, evening the count at 1-1 with no one on base and one out in the fifth inning. Very t...
Belated Nintendo Switch Review: The Nintendo Switch Rules So Hard
This era of console gaming is a strange one, owing partially to the fact that about five years ago, many people in the industry feared consumers would reject bulky $300 consoles in favor of cheaper and nimbler competitors like the iPhone and the iPad. Why pay so much for games you can only play in f...
This ESPN Fantasy Football Auction Segment Is ... Yikes
I don’t know if this tone-deaf fantasy football auction segment that ESPN2 aired yesterday, with its galling resemblance to a slave auction, means that nobody involved in its production saw or understood Get Out, or if they’ve never read a history book, or if they’re all just really dumb, nor do I k...
Why Did Tyler Clippard Answer The Phone During <i>Game Of Thrones</i>?<em></em>
Here are two things of note from Tyler Clippard’s Sunday: He was traded to the Astros for either cash considerations or a player to be named later, and he was watching Game of Thrones when he got the call from White Sox GM Rick Hahn telling him as much. Clippard was 35 minutes into the episode, prob...
Phil Kessel Fills Stanley Cup With Hot Dogs To Own Toronto Columnist
Remember when Steve Simmons, columnist and stooge at the Toronto Sun, kicked off his article about the Maple Leafs trading Phil Kessel with a (later debunked) anecdote about how Kessel used to eat a street hot dog every day? I surely won’t forget that, and two Stanley Cups later, neither has Phil....
Odell Beckham Jr. Isn't Fair
There’s Giants wideout Odell Beckham Jr. this morning at training camp, doing what he does even as Janoris Jenkins plays him perfectly. Here’s the full video:...
White-Supremacist Bozos Appropriated The Detroit Red Wings Logo
Here was an unexpected feature of Friday’s torch-lit Neo-Nazi white nationalist march in Charlottesville: a bunch of racist bozos marching around with placards featuring the Detroit Red Wings logo:...
Cat Found And Jailed For Crime Of Helping Vile Cardinals
Cardinals Cat, the kitten that invaded a Royals-Cardinals game at Busch Stadium Wednesday night and inspired the Cardinals to victory, has been found. And you know what? They threw the little asshole in jail, where he belongs:...
Here's Conor McGregor Knocking Down A Slice Of Pizza Wearing A Wig
Earlier tonight, aspiring boxer Conor McGregor lost to a heavy bag in a public workout so feeble and ridiculous that anyone watching had to wonder whether McGregor had some mysterious business reason for masquerading as a clown or just is one. Perhaps in response, UFC figurehead Dana White has poste...
Idiots Hold Idiot Summit
This week, the public was treated to a rendition of one of Aesop’s lesser-known fables, The Troll, the Moron, and the Stooge. There was no real moral, just a reminder that a sizable portion of the internet consists of opportunists tugging on their own nuts and screeching when they feel they haven’t ...
55-Year-Old Curler Glenn Howard Could Represent Two Countries At The Same Olympics
Glenn Howard has been one of Canada’s top curlers for years, and the four-time world champion is again attempting to represent Canada in the 2018 Winter Olympics. The master strategist and his team, ranked 17th in the world and 11th in Canada, qualified for the opening round of the Canadian curling...
The NCAA's Latest Sexual Violence Policy Is A Joke
The NCAA put out a press release Thursday announcing it had adopted a new a sexual violence policy, complete with a press release and a fluffy writeup by the Associated Press. But the NCAA saying it’s news doesn’t make it news. The policy, as described by its own press release, is meaningless. All i...
Penn State Football Trainer Accused Of Approving Frat’s Alcohol “Gauntlet” That Led To Pledge’s Death
Today was a wild fourth day of preliminary hearings in the case of 18 Penn State fraternity brothers charged in the February hazing death of Tim Piazza. Lawyers for members of Beta Theta Pi are attempting to get the case thrown out before it reaches trial, and a Penn State football staffer’s role in...