it Page 883 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yes, The Senators Are Still Boring
The best way to shut anyone up—the best comeback for literally anything critical anyone is saying about your team—is to score a whole bunch of goals. The Senators, very accurately derided as a “boring” team to watch thanks to their neutral-zone-coagulating defense and a drowsy transition game, explo...
Former Chargers Security Guard Pleads Guilty After Getting Caught Masturbating During Game
A former security guard who worked Chargers games was caught masturbating near Chargers cheerleaders on the sidelines during a game in December. Both the team and Elite Services, the security company, acknowledged the incident and the guard was fired shortly after. ...
Could This Single-A Catcher With One MLB At-Bat Make The All-Star Game?
All-star games are an inelegant but closest-we’re-gonna-get answer to beer-fueled debates on whether League’s Best Player could beat League’s Other Best Player in a game with the finest supporting casts available. Because the public gets to vote on the picks, the event is also very easy to fuck with...
Yet Another Lawsuit Says Baylor Officials Did Nothing After Report Of A Gang Rape By Football Players<em></em>
A lawsuit filed today by a former Baylor volleyball player says the former Baylor athlete was “brutally gang raped by at least four and, according to some reports, as many as eight, Baylor football players.” According to the Waco Tribune-Herald, it is the seventh Title IX lawsuit filed against the h...
Andy Murray Can't Move
Andy Murray fell to Fabio Fognini yesterday in his second-round match at the Italian Open, 6-2, 6-4. While Fognini’s multifaceted game is much bigger than his No. 29 ranking might suggest—he’s one of two people to take a set off Rafael Nadal this clay season—that’s little solace for Murray, who was ...
White Sox Lose Game In 11th Inning On Albert Pujols Single
The White Sox almost won in extra innings last night against the Angels in Anaheim, but ultimately let the Angels win on a walk-off single....
All That's Left To Say Is That The President Is A Big Dummy
Donald Trump is a very stupid dumbass. Like even for a pampered inheritance baby, he’s exceptionally dumb! Just a big idiot. His brain came out of a can with the word “Hormel” on it. He’s stupider than shit. A stiff breeze could beat him at checkers....
Son Of One Mike Upset About Mike Situation<em></em>
The big Mike news that we all heard about back in January is finally official: Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, the hosts of ESPN’s Mike & Mike radio show, are going their separate ways. This is the end of the Mikes....
Josh Harrison Avoided The Hell Out Of This Tag
Pirates second baseman Josh Harrison tested the arm of Nationals center fielder Michael Taylor tonight, and he got beat to second base. However, Harrison, a known trickster on the base paths, beat the tag somehow....
Judge Dismisses Most Of Painkiller Lawsuit Against NFL Teams
A U.S. District Court judge has dismissed most of the lawsuit that was brought by former players against NFL teams, alleging that those teams broke federal drug laws and doled out reckless quantities of pain killers, resulting in various long-term health problems....
Reports: Cop Who Tackled James Blake Won't Go To Trial
The New York City police officer who tackled former tennis pro James Blake because he thought Blake was someone else won’t have a public disciplinary trial, according to multiple reports. Officer James Frascatore’s disciplinary trial on a charge of excessive force was scheduled to start yesterday, b...
Report: Police Investigating Alleged Drug Theft In Georgia Tennis Program
Dawg Nation is reporting that Georgia police are investigating a case of alleged prescription drug theft involving people associated with the University of Georgia tennis program....
White Sox Manager Lets Emotional Attachment To Mike Pelfrey Get Better Of Him
Chicago White Sox starter Mike Pelfrey has been generally ineffective this year, but he’s been at his worst when attempting to get through an opponent’s lineup for a third time. He’s pitched to 15 batters in this situation, allowing nine runs and a .750/.733/1.583 batting line....
Phil Kessel Yelled A Lot And Scored
Phil Kessel is relatable, which is a nice way of saying that he’s large and goofy. But as with all world-class athletes, we must resist the urge to see too much of our pathetic selves in him. Kessel is, obviously, one of the most talented offensive players in hockey—he’s quietly having a hell of a p...
Grigor Dimitrov Thoroughly Ruins His Racket
Grigor Dimitrov lost to Juan Martin del Potro, 3-6, 6-2, 6-4 at the Italian Open today. He hit some nice shots in a disappointing first-round exit, but saved his finest technique for this two-part racket devastation: First the spike, then the bare hands....
52 Years Ago Today, Jim Ryun Ran The Fastest Mile In An All-High School Race
Fifty-two years ago today, Kansas held its state championship track meet. One of the runners who toed the starting line that day was Jim Ryun. By 1965, though, Ryun was already famous. The year before, he’d become the first high schooler to break four minutes in the mile. That summer, he competed in...
Trump Won't Exercise For Fear Of Depleting His Body's Finite Store Of Energy
It’s not surprising that an artificially-hued, overweight 70-year-old with a terrifying lack of self-control and a noted penchant for fast food doesn’t hit the gym regularly. It somehow is surprising, though, that he has a characteristically smug and preposterous explanation....
Report: Kansas City Chiefs' Top Draft Pick Robbed At Gunpoint
Patrick Mahomes II, a quarterback drafted 10th overall a few weeks back by the Chiefs, was robbed along with three other people by an alleged gunman and an accomplice outside a home in Smith County, Texas, according to KYTX-TV....
Everything Terrible And Exhilarating About Cycling Was On Display At The Giro d'Italia Today
This afternoon, the Giro d’Italia truly started....
Idiot On The Field Invades Eurovision Song Contest, Drops Drawers, Moons The World
A man in the Australian flag invaded the stage of today’s Eurovision Song Contest and bared his ass to 200 million viewers around the world just as last year’s champion, Ukrainian singer Jamala, performed her newest hit....