it Page 969 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Russian Track And Field Athletes Won't Compete At Olympics After Ban Is Upheld
The IAAF, world track and field’s governing body, voted unanimously Friday to uphold its provisional ban on Russian athletes. Unless something extraordinary happens in the next six weeks, Russian runners, throwers, and jumpers won’t be competing in the Olympics. ...
Wade Phillips Finally Gets His Actual Super Bowl Ring
When the Denver Broncos received their Super Bowl rings Sunday, defensive coordinator Wade Phillips’s jewelry had the wrong name. (It was engraved with the name “Peters.”) He showed a photo of the correct ring Thursday, along with the erroneous one....
The Currys Snapped, Just Like Everyone Else
After he got his sixth foul and ended his Game 6 early Thursday night, Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Curry lost his shit. A few minutes later, his wife Ayesha Curry lost hers....
J.R. Smith's Daughter Burns Him On National Television
Aside from a 20-pointer in Game 5, J.R. Smith hasn’t really shown up in these NBA Finals. That’s okay! His daughter is proud of him anyway. Why’s that? Because he made it this far into the season without getting kicked off the team....
Art Briles Thinks He Was A Fall Guy
A Baylor student named Jasmin Hernandez, who was raped by Baylor football player Tevin Elliot in 2014, is suing the university for its mishandling of her case. Former head coach Art Briles was named as a co-defendant, which was filed before he was fired, and now he’s attempting to block settlement o...
My Very Queer Ramadan
I come back from the bathroom, and she’s leafing through my Quran....
From Refugee To Olympic Hopeful: Biya Simbassa's Excellent Life In The Land Of Opportunity
It was the Galen Rupp show at this past Sunday’s Portland Track Festival 5000 meters, as America’s greatest distance talent executed his signature 4600-meter cruise, capped by a crowd-pleasing shift into turbo for the final lap. Nice, though unsurprising. ...
Mark Fuhrman Was the Biggest Winner In The O.J. Trial
O.J. Simpson is imprisoned and broke and universally accepted as a multi-murderer. That’s likely about the same condition he’d be in if he’d been convicted of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. So a case can be made that, in the end, he got away with nothing....
Carson Wentz Owned By Mighty Bathroom Lock
Let’s check in on the Eagles’ alleged franchise quarterback, Carson Wentz, for whom they traded two first-round picks and three other draft picks. How’s he doing? How’s preseason camp? Arm feeling alright, young buck?...
Jayson Werth Has A Profane, Shaggy Message For His Haters
The Washington Nationals took the rubber match against the Chicago Cubs this evening after an insane 12-inning affair that featured the Nationals going ahead in the 8th, losing the lead in the ninth, forcing extra innings, falling behind in the 12th, then finally walking off after Jayson Werth singl...
College Majors Are Bullshit
When I showed up on the morning of my college graduation, I told whomever was in charge of herding hundreds of hungover almost-grads into a semblance of organization that I had majored in Ancient History....
Report: Padres Were Eager For San Diego To Install Jagged Rocks To Keep Homeless People Away From The All-Star Game
The San Diego Padres were interested in the city’s plan to place jagged rocks along an underpass in order to deter homeless people from congregating there ahead of the MLB All-Star Game, according to a report from Voice of San Diego. ...
They Threw A Parade For Phil Kessel
The Pittsburgh Penguins held their Stanley Cup parade today, but really, all I care about is what Phil Kessel did....
This Hilarious, Imaginative Icelandic Twitter Account Is The One To Follow For The Euros
“And now the unfortunate Portuguese will feel the mighty thunder of Þór’s Icelandic warriors” read the first tweet from Iceland’s English-language magazine, the Reykjavík Grapevine, during their coverage of their teeny tiny nation’s Euro 2016 match against Portugal. It didn’t take long after that fo...
Just How In The Hell Did This Guy Not Crash?
For some reason, the Tour de Suisse decided that a good place to stick a finish line was 100 meters after a 90-degree corner. When Danny van Poppel tried to squeeze past Peter Sagan on the inside corner, he clipped wheels and was on course to eat shit into the barrier until he made a miraculous save...
Another Vanderbilt Rape Retrial Has Begun
Another retrial has begun for one of the former Vanderbilt football players originally convicted of rape last year. It was more than a year ago when a jury found Cory Batey and Brandon Vandenburg guilty on all charges for their parts in raping an unconscious woman and recording the attack on cell ph...
Fox Sports 1's <i>All Takes Matter</i> Is As Boring As It Is Long
During the “Good Bet or Bad Bet?” segment of the premiere of Fox Sports 1's All Takes Matter, Jason McIntyre asked Colin Cowherd and Jason Whitlock to debate the following premise: The Denver Broncos will miss the playoffs this season. “That’s a ... decent bet,” Whitlock said....
Gigi Buffon Busts His Ass Celebrating Italy's Win
Careful, old man. Your back at 38 isn’t as resilient as it was at 18. Here’s a couple more angles of Buffon’s fall:...
Baylor Boosters Want Art Briles Back, And That's Disgusting
One of the worst-kept secrets in college football is that the president, the athletic director, and the football coach aren’t actually in charge. This isn’t to absolve them of their responsibilities—they have many, which they love using as selling points when talking to moms about building better me...