it Page 979 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bernie Should Get The Fuck Out

You won’t believe this, but Bernie Sanders won the state of Oregon last night. (Real fucking shocker there, I know.) Anyway, Bernie has no realistic mathematical shot at securing the delegates needed to win the Democratic nomination, AND some his supporters are now openly threatening people, because...

New Yorkers! Tonight’s Varsity Letters reading series, presented by Gelf Magazine, is going to be a great one. Ben Lindbergh will be reading from his excellent new book The Only Rule Is It Has To Work (excerpted here), and he will be joined by 538's Nate Silver, Allison McCann, and Oliver Roeder. ES...

Clayton Kershaw Is An Apex Predator

Los Angeles Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw is on one of those runs that has baseball writers banging down the door of Elias Sports and plumbing the depths of Baseball Reference, all in an attempt to put whatever the hell it is he’s doing in context. Kershaw struck out 11 Angels in eight innings last ni...

Sixers Claim That Dikembe Mutombo Didn't Reveal A Grand NBA Draft Conspiracy (UPDATE)

The NBA draft lottery is at 8 p.m. EDT tonight in New York City. At 4:36 p.m., Dikembe Mutombo tweeted his congratulations to his former team, the Philadelphia 76ers, for winning the lottery and “grabbing the #1 spot.” Mutombo apologized and clarified that he had tweeted too soon and was just gettin...

Dikembe Mutombo Deletes Tweet Congratulating 76ers On Winning NBA Draft Lottery

The NBA draft lottery is tonight at 8 p.m., but Dikembe Mutombo’s Twitter account couldn’t wait until then to congratulate the Philadelphia 76ers for winning the first overall pick. The tweet, which had a photo of Mutombo and Allen Iverson, was quickly deleted....

Mayor Of Probably Calgary Mad Over Raptors Poll Snub

The Raptors and their fans have played the “nobody believes in us” card faster and harder than just about anyone, quite possibly because nobody believes in them. But things have reached a fever pitch in Wherever The Raptors Are From, thanks to the limitations of an online poll....

Barbecue This Big Fruit

Not too long ago, we collectively struggled to come up with a convincing non-meat filling for sandwich, but today the answer seems obvious: jackfruit....

Samantha Bee Suplexes Trolls Who Harassed Seattle Councilwomen For Rejecting New NBA Arena

The Seattle City Council voted 5-4 against selling a block of the city that would have made it possible for hedge fund manager Chris Hansen to move forward with plans for a new NBA arena. The majority that voted against the deal were all women. They got hate mail....

Refs Missed Russell Westbrook's Travel At The End Of Game 1

Did Russell Westbrook travel in the waning seconds of last night’s Thunder Game 1 win? Yeah, totally. Does that ever get called, let alone late in a playoff game? Ehhh....

Sidney Crosby Scores Right In Jeremy Roenick's Dumb Face

The corollary to not overreacting when Sidney Crosby goes eight games without scoring a goal is also not overreacting when he finally finds the net. But hot damn, did the Penguins need that goal. If only to shut Jeremy Roenick up....

The Thunder Aren’t Scared Of The Warriors

As Steph Curry hit a buzzer-beater to end the first half and cap off a run by Golden State’s fabled smallball lineup of death, it felt like the Warriors were bound to keep burning the Thunder and run away with Game 1, much like the Spurs did to them to open that series. When Curry hit two improbable...

Brad Ausmus Melts Down, Curses Out Ump, Claims Home Plate With His Sweater

The Tigers were up 8-0 on the Twins after the first inning, and they’ve spent the next seven inning melting down and letting them tie it up. After Nick Castellanos struck out in the fourth inning, Tigers manager Brad Ausmus went straight at home plate umpire Doug Eddings and got tossed after very gr...

Ruddy Tigers Fan Snags Miguel Cabrera's Bat Out Of The Sky

As far as baseball fans catching objects go, Tigers fans are probably having the best season in baseball. A dude caught five foul balls in a single game last month, and while A’s fans have been good foul ball defenders all year, a jolly-looking man put the Tigers firmly in the lead this evening with...

Rougned Odor Doesn’t Regret Walloping Jose Bautista, Claims Self-Defense

The Rangers and Blue Jays had a batshit insane brawl yesterday that featured a series of fights and plenty of intense yelling, but all that noise doesn’t amount to much, since Rougned Odor slugging Jose Bautista was so clean and violent that it’s taken on a life of its own outside the specific conte...

Sick Of Doping? Get Off The Internet, Get Off The Couch, And Run A Race

Yes, I get it, everyone’s doping and no one cares. About doping. But there’s a huge disconnect between what is happening at the top level of the sport and what is happening in my hometown, and I would guess, other people’s hometowns too. Which is running. Competition. Running races is fun and people...

Tampa-Area Tourism Bureau Apologizes For Accidentally Supporting The Pittsburgh Penguins

The Lightning took Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals on Friday, but Tampa Bay-area fans aren’t happy after a local visitors bureau issued rally towels to the Pittsburgh Penguins before the game....

Twitter To Give You More Space For Your Bad Tweets

A godsend for all tweeters struggling with pithiness: Twitter will stop counting photos and links towards their 140-character limit, Bloomberg reports, citing a person familiar with the matter....

Is It Normal If I Always Blank On The Same Word?

I always blank on the word “reconcile.” Ok, not right now. In fact, ever since I started working on this post, the word has popped into my head with little friction, likely because I have forced myself to remember what exactly it was that I was writing about. However, this sort of recall doesn’t det...

Blue Jays And Rangers Brawl, Completely Ignore Game [UPDATE: They Brawled Again]

Toronto and Texas brawled in the top of the eighth as punches were flying while the ball was still bouncing around the field. We’re waiting on a good video replay; for now, enjoy this feed from Fox Sports Southwest and KRLD....

Russell Wilson's Charming UW Commencement Address Was The Anti-Michael Jordan Hall Of Fame Speech

Look how chill that dude is right there. Twenty-seven years old, a Super Bowl winner, wearing a hoodie to a graduation ceremony at which he gave a funny, inspirational, self-effacing speech that also settled some scores with an old coach. This weekend in Madison, Russell Wilson—Seahawks QB, former W...