it Page 988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jermaine Marshall Costs Team Playoff Game With Buzzer-Beating Boner
Aris defeated Kifisia 108-103 in overtime today in the Greek League playoffs, all thanks to former Arizona State star Jermaine Marshall’s incredible boner at the end of regulation....

Manchester United Reach FA Cup Final With 93rd-Minute Goal
Anthony Martial scored the winner in the third minute of stoppage time as Manchester United overcame an own goal to beat Everton in today’s FA Cup semifinal, 2-1....

Man Holding Infant Catches Home Run Ball
This proud papa is a Pirates fan, but he wasn’t too proud to celebrate the feat of hauling in Welington Castillo’s fourth-inning homer in Arizona tonight. Multitasking? Call me when he does it while holding a baby in one hand and a beer in the other....

White Sox Execute 9-3-2-6-2-5 Triple Play
Triple plays are generally credited to the defense, but as we’ve seen more often than not they’re created by piss-poor base running. So here’s an example of the Texas Rangers shitting up the basepaths as they manage to get themselves into a 9-3-2-6-2-5 triple play at the hands of the White Sox tonig...

Hurricanes Twitter Account Owns Guy So Hard, His Ancestors Weep In Shame
If you have a weak constitution or are unsettled by the sight of gore, you may not want to look at this brutal and graphic Twitter owning....

Former 49ers LB, Scheduled To Testify In Aldon Smith DUI Trial, Has Vanished
Oakland Raiders linebacker Aldon Smith will stand trial in Santa Clara, California, on May 2 on charges of DUI, hit-and-run, and leaving the scene of an accident. Scheduled to testify at the trial is free agent linebacker Nick Moody, who played with Smith in San Francisco and was with him the August...

Why <i>Veep</i> Can't Let Selina Be V.P. Again
Season 4 of Veep ended with Selina Meyer, the titular VP, as president—but just barely. Having ascended to the highest office in the land without actually ever being voted president by the people, she faces an uncertain re-election. But at the end of the night—and the end of the season—her future is...

Cincinnati Reds Twitter Finds Perfect Way To Recap Game They Got No-Hit
When you run the Cincinnati Reds’ Twitter, and the team loses in a 16-0 no-hitter, it’s tough to find a silver lining. But, you have a job to do. Those sad fans need their recap. Thursday’s final result:...

Petr Mrazek Boner Sends Red Wings Out Of The Playoffs
There are two ways to look at the Tampa Bay Lightning’s game and series-winning goal deep into the third period....

Jake Arrieta Throws First No-Hitter Of The Season
The Cubs might have to break out the pajamas again, because Jake Arrieta has thrown another no-hitter, blanking the Reds in a 16-0 blowout win on only 119 pitches. Incredibly, Arrieta hasn’t lost a start since his no-no back in August, and today was (obviously) his best outing since then. He only st...

Joey Rickard Teleports A Hit Right Through Josh Donaldson's Glove
Oh, you thought Troy Tulowitzki’s ragged-ass glove would be the only piece of equipment from the left-side of the Blue Jays’ infield to make news this season? Wrong....

MTV Accidentally Adds Fresh Prince Video To All-Day Marathon
MTV suspended all scheduled programming today to air an all-day Prince marathon in wake of the musician’s passing, but it looks like searching for “prince” in the network’s video database didn’t work so well. Sandwiched between videos for “New Power Generation” and “Controversy” turned up “Girls Ain...

Clayton Kershaw Throws Weird Pitch
Does this Clayton Kershaw pitch from today’s game even count as an eephus? It seems more like the Dodgers pitcher forgot that Tyler Flowers was already at the plate, or maybe Kershaw didn’t set himself properly on the mound and had to follow through so he didn’t hurt anything. Whatever the reason, t...

Two Dead After Rio De Janeiro Cycle Path Collapses Into Sea
A 150-foot elevated cycle path section in Rio de Janeiro collapsed this morning after it was hit by a wave, killing at least two of the five cyclists who fell into the sea. The 2.4 mile long Tim Maia Cycle Path—completed in January at a cost of $12.7 million—was one of the many infrastructure projec...

Prince Is Dead, Long Live Prince
So it’s true: Prince Rogers Nelson, a musician so superhuman that he was convincingly able to go by a single name even though that name is also a word, was found dead this morning at his studio compound in Minnesota. He was 57 years old, which is young for anyone, but so crushingly young for someone...

Conor McGregor Grabs The UFC By The Dick, Squeezes
The strangest ongoing story in sports this week has been UFC featherweight champion Conor McGregor maybe (but probably not) retiring and either dropping out or being pulled from a main event fight against Nate Diaz in July on what the UFC would like to be their biggest-ever fight card....

UFC Boss Dana White Mad At Conor McGregor For Not Doing Some Dumb Bullshit
Yesterday, UFC featherweight champion Conor McGregor may or may not have retired; it isn’t clear. What is clear is that he won’t participate in a highly-anticipated rematch against Nate Diaz on July 9, unless he does. UFC figurehead Dana White went on The Herd with smooth-skinned ghoul Colin Cowherd...

Charlie Villanueva Gets In Nice Underhanded Burn
There was a funny little moment before Dallas’ dramatic Game 2 victory over Oklahoma City, when Mavericks reserve Charlie Villanueva interrupted the pre-game dance routine of Russell Westbrook and Cameron Payne. After the last-second loss, Kevin Durant called Villanueva’s move “fake shit,” and Russe...

ESPN Interviews One Of The Guys From "Meet Me In Temecula"
The Christmas season is all about peace on Earth, goodwill towards your neighbors, and defending the honor of your favorite basketball player by driving 35 minutes to go fight some chump who talked shit online. Two Christmases ago, Twitter user @MyTweetsRealAF made the drive down to Temecula, Ca. af...

Kris Letang Tried To Chop Viktor Stalberg's Head Off With His Stick
Kris Letang is clearly excited for Game of Thrones to come back this weekend, because he used his hockey stick like a goddamn battle ax here and went straight for the jugular. The Penguins beat the Rangers 3-1 on goals and 1-0 on attempted decapitations....