its Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Note To Starbucks Baristas Everywhere: If You Find Yourself Serving Coffee To Mitch Albom, Spill It On Him
Mitch Albom, America's favorite fun-sized poetastering fabulist, decided to use his Sunday column space in the shrinking Detroit Free Press to whine about America's service workers in the haughtiest fashion possible....
A Mural Featuring Mike McQueary Tastefully Adorns Happy Valley Titty Bar
Reader Jayme recently returned from a trip to the End Zone Club, a titty joint located in scenic Port Matilda, Pa., just 13 miles away from the Penn State campus. He files this report:...
After 38 Studios Goes Broke, Bank Sues Curt Schilling
Immediately after Rhode Island extended the beleaguered 38 Studios a $75 million dollar loan, Curt Schilling's company took out a $2 million letter of credit from Citizens Bank as the security deposit on their Providence offices. Well, that's all gone now. 38 Studios is bankrupt, the office is close...
There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....
How A Career Ends: I Was The No. 1 Pick In The MLB Amateur Draft, And Now I'm A Cautionary Tale
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the MLB amateur draft beginning in a matter of hours: Pitcher David Clyde, the No. 1 pick in the 1973 draft and now an object lesson in how not to handle...
Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....
Fan Sues Pittsburgh Penguins For Sending Him Too Many Text Messages
The Pittsburgh Penguins figure to have a pretty busy offseason. They have to shore up their defense even though they're stuck with Paul Martin's hefty contract. On July 1, they can begin to negotiate new deals with Sidney Crosby and Jordan Staal, whose current pacts expire after next season. And, li...
Reeves Nelson Files Defamation Suit Over <i>Sports Illustrated</i>'s UCLA Story
SI's big UCLA expose came...and went. George Dohrmann (who won a Pulitzer for his coverage of academic fraud at Minnesota, a real scandal) painted a picture of a dysfunctional Bruins program, but there wasn't any there there. It didn't slow UCLA: they completed their recruitment of the best prep pla...
Union Files Collusion Lawsuit Against NFL, Alleging Secret $123 Million Salary Cap In Uncapped Year
I've never been happier to admit I was wrong. Yesterday, the Redskins and Cowboys dropped their appeals of the NFL's salary cap penalties after being ruled against by rubber-stamp arbitrator Stephen Burbank, and I thought that was the end of it. The bad guys won. But the NFLPA had been saving its se...
How A Career Ends: Ron Darling Celebrated His 35th Birthday By Getting Cut And Being Left Alone At Home
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Pitcher Ron Darling, one of 37 major leaguers in history born in Hawaii and the record holder, by far, for most major league seasons by a Yale University alum...
Calvin Johnson Goes Yard At Comerica Park
Fine, it was during batting practice—if you want to get technical about it—but impressive nonetheless for the Lions freakishly talented wide receiver. According to Johnson his power display was no fluke, he was approached by the Reds while in high school before he committed to Georgia Tech and foot...
The Dadspin Guide To Feeding A Baby
I have a newborn son. He needs to be fed eight times a day. Each session of feeding him takes roughly 30 minutes, 20 if I'm lucky. I am usually not lucky. That's four hours of the day dedicated to sitting in a chair with a bottle, begging the baby to drink faster. A newborn's life is dedicated to sl...
Why Can't Michael Bay Make Stoopid Movies Like This? <i>Battleship</i>, Reviewed.
One of the knocks on Battleship is that it plays like a ripoff of a Michael Bay movie, but frankly, I wish any of Bay's recent films had been a fun as this very silly let's-kill-the-aliens action flick is. Directed by actor-turned-director Peter Berg (Hancock, the Friday Night Lights film), Battlesh...
Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation
Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was suspended one full season for his role in the Saints' bounty scandal, and immediately appealed. Beyond that, the NFLPA argued before independent arbitrator Shyam Das (we've heard his name before) that Roger Goodell didn't have the authority to punish players....
Laurie Fine To File Libel Suit Against ESPN
That "major announcement" that Laurie Fine promised for us later this morning, at a castle for some reason? It's exactly what you thought. Fine is bringing a libel lawsuit against ESPN, reporter Mark Schwarz, and producer Arty Berko for their reporting of child sexual abuse allegations against forme...
Brian Downing, Krystal Restaurant Named In "Alabama Teabagger" Lawsuit
Remember Brian Downing? He's the gentleman alleged to have been caught on video performing a certain sexual act on a passed-out LSU fan in the hours after the BCS Championship game this year in New Orleans. (See our full coverage here.) That act, which the New Orleans Times-Picayune describes as "p...
Cole Hamels Says He Threw At Bryce Harper
Phillies-Nats, earlier tonight: Cole Hamels drilled Bryce Harper with two outs in the first. Harper then stole home, so joke was on Cole. But none of that would matter much, since Nats starter Jordan Zimmermann buckled in the fourth, and the Phillies won 9-3....
A Granada Player Hit The Ref In The Face WIth A Bottle Of Gatorade After Today's Match Against Real Madrid
A late own goal put Granada at further risk of relegation from La Liga and handed Real Madrid—already league champions—a 2-1 win that was followed by a series of red cards and an eventual riot police escort off the pitch for a referee that didn't grant Granada a late corner kick in added time....
Matt Hendricks's Hit On Ryan McDonagh Was Playoff Hockey At Its Best
We say it all the time: the Stanley Cup Playoffs are the best postseason in sports. Tonight's Capitals-Rangers game is headed to the second overtime, a fitting outcome in this year's OT-happy postseason, but the extended game hasn't dialed down any of the intensity....
Brett Favre Will Have To Answer Questions Under Oath About Those <i>Other</i> Ladies He Allegedly Sexted
A Manhattan Supreme Court Justice has refused to dismiss a sexual harassment lawsuit against Brett Favre, filed last year by two former Jets massage therapists. This means that at the very least, Favre will have to testify under oath—-something he never did during the NFL's investigation into his in...