its Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart
Deadspin's fondness for Pat Jordan's writing is well documented and it's always a good day when he publishes something new. But his latest piece for Men's Journal is a bit of a departure from his usual chest-thumping....
U.S.A. on Road to Amputee-Sports Glory
The New York Times reports on the development of a new, potentially world-class American sprinter: Jerrod Fields, who lost his left foot and lower leg to an IED in Baghdad....
The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...
The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
The Inexorable Pussification Of Little League Marches On
A 12-year-old boy thought it would be cool to break out the pop-up slide — and tore up his knee in the process. This being America, of course his family sued. So how much money did they get?...
Lisa Mayfield Did Not Appreciate The "Whore" Remarks
NASCAR's Jeremy Mayfield is being sued by his stepmother, Lisa, for "slanderous, false and defamatory statements" she says he made about her. You mean the murdering whore thing? Wait ... you were upset about?...
The White House Welcomes Shock And Aww, Not That Again
In welcoming your WNBA world champions to his home, the First Bulls Fan lamented congratulating former-and-forever Piston Bill Laimbeer — controversy! scandal! developing! — so Laimbeer will probably be back next week to resolve the conflict over beers. [CBS]...
Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....
Seriously, Guys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Christine Brennan Offers Underminey Advice To Erin Andrews
Says the USA Today columnist: "I also would suggest to her ... that she rely on her talent and brains and not succumb to the lowest common denominator in sports media by playing to the frat house." [Big Lead]...
Today In Mutton Bustin'
Hurry up, Abilene mutton-bustin' pre-teens! This weekend is your last chance to register for the Wild Bill Hickok Rodeo's sheep-riding extravaganza, also known as the ovine world's revenge for all that Shari Lewis shit. [Abilene Reflector-Chronicle]...
The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....
Mutton Wins Again
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Sexual Assault
WTAE-Pittsburgh reports that a Nevada casino employee has filed a civil lawsuit against Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, accusing him of sexual assault. His attorney denies the charge. More tomorrow, obviously, when Feel Good Story Week continues. [WTAE-TV; PFT]...
This Little Furry Will Be Shaq's Reality Show Sidekick
"Ive been alotta place but being at the shaolin temple n china has brouhht a tear to my eye buddha blessed," Shaq recently tweeted. So he cried on the shoulder of a giant panda, and turned that frown upside down....
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....
Angry Sheep, 1, Small Terrified Boy, 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Rick Pitino Didn't Do That Thing Karen Sypher Said He Did, Probably
Louisville police will not prosecute Rick Pitino for whatever it is Karen Sypher allegedly tried to blackmail him with. So I guess we'll never get a steamy "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama starring the saucy Cardinals coach....
Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...