ja Page 158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The only thing worse than the owners are their kids
Were you in the mood for a world-class bus-tossing? Did you want to start your day with the sound of an express pulverizing an unsuspecting individual DJ Jazzy Jeff’d into its path? Does the morning need a kickstart with a thunderous “THWACK?” Friendo, you’re in luck:...
Mariners' outfielder Jarred Kelenic has been off to a historically bad start to his career
Seattle Mariners outfielder Jarred Kelenic was supposed to be a savior. He was supposed to help pull a franchise that had been mostly irrelevant in the annals of baseball history into World Series contention. He was a very popular pick for the 2021 AL Rookie of the Year Award last year....
This 'Hard Knocks'<em> </em>season premiere was good, but Lions coach Dan Campbell needs to drink that strong-ass coffee on camera soon
At some point during the time that the Detroit Lions are on “Hard Knocks,” we had better get to see Dan Campbell at Starbucks....
No matter the regime, the Bears remain unfathomably weird
It’s easy, as a Bears fan, to use any piece of news to lament your lot in life. The slightest misfortune or misstep, and we can’t wait to find the nearest fiery pit to throw ourselves into, as long as there’s a cross we can land on briefly before watching our skin peel off (yes, I know a cross almos...
Kevin Durant is an airhead
That is if reports are to be believed, and it would depend on which side this slithered out from. Smart money is on the Brooklyn side, but then again watching Kevin Durant throughout his career, this is the kind of hijinx he would think shines kindly on him....
Dodgers remind the loaded Padres that they’re still the team to beat
The Dodgers couldn’t care less about the Padres and the trade deadline....
The Dodgers care not for your newest superteam
The Padres certainly have a way of stealing the headlines. And that’s not a bad thing, always, especially as the Padres do it by being one of the few teams that are constantly adding good players. Even great ones at times. Which they kind of have to, given that they’re in a division with the Dodgers...
Good news from Bears camp: Justin Fields is in a happy place
The Chicago Bears offense. Those words could be presented to children to teach them the meaning of the word oxymoron....
Kareem Hunt wants out of Cleveland, Jimmy G needs out of San Francisco
The offseason drama and turmoil in Cleveland will apparently carry over into the regular season. DeShaun Watson’s punishment was handed out last week to the tune of a very underwhelming six-game suspension, which has been appealed by the NFL. Now one of Cleveland’s primary offensive weapons, Kareem ...
How can Steph Curry be the petty king when that’s already Kevin Durant’s lane?
Steph Curry’s new moniker, The Petty King, feels contrived. He’s on this post-Finals MVP mission to call out everyone who’s ever slighted him. Cool, man, your legacy is as pristine as they come. Why didn’t this persona come out before his long-sought Finals MVP, when you were still vulnerable? ...
How many times does old man Brady have to teach us a lesson?
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme: “Brady’s gonna fall off this year.”...
Will Liverpool’s season be defined by children?
It depends on how you define drama whether or not you find any in the Premier League season. We pretty much know that either Manchester City or Liverpool will win the title. Some combination of Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs, and maybe United will fill out the other Champions League places. Perhaps Newcast...
A serene Tottenham Hotspur will take some getting used to
It’s pretty obvious a team has a habit, even a reputation or history, of being a fuckaround when its very name is used as a definition of that. “Spursinees” has been a term thrown around since just about the Premier League’s beginning, which makes it clear what everyone thinks of Tottenham. No matte...
WWE’s new creative landscape could open Forbidden Door for AEW star
All Elite Wrestling’s biggest organic star has been off television for 63 days without a peep on when he’ll return. Since his new-age “pipe bomb” promo on the June 1 episode of “Dynamite,” MJF hasn’t surfaced. August’s first episode of AEW’s flagship show has a 99.999999% chance of being the ninth c...
Juan Soto’s departure marked the end ‘The Great Natsby’ era
The last time “Esa Muchacha” blared as Juan Soto stepped to the plate occurred on Monday night when he turned a 95 MPH pitch from New York Mets ace Max Scherzer into a deep centerfield moonshot. Soto later earned a standing ovation in what would be his home finale as a National, but Scherzer being t...
A Danny Dimes breakout year looks more like Ryan Tannehill's than Josh Allen's
I love when coaches get credit for a quarterback’s success. Great coaches can make good QBs look great and make great QBs look all-time. However, when all they have in the kitchen is hot dogs and Hormel chili, the best outcome is a chili cheese dog and a greasy shit down the road....
Best of the Rest: MLB trade deadline
This year’s MLB trade deadline may not have seen as many high-impact players dealt as 2021, but there was still a myriad of moves made that will impact the postseason races as the season winds down....
Here’s where the losers of the Juan Soto sweepstakes stand now
Light up a cigar, kick your feet up, and take a massive breath. The Juan Soto saga is over. I doubted it would happen at all, but in the end, the San Diego Padres wound up getting both Soto and veteran teammate Josh Bell for comparatively very little. Congrats to the Padres! The deal was amazing! Th...
What exactly were the Brewers thinking?
Amidst all the hullabaloo following the Juan Soto trade (Nationals are officially a poverty franchise now, by the way), the Padres’ deal for Josh Hader has been brushed aside, tucked under the rug, becoming an afterthought. It was one of the most surprising trades of the deadline. Nobody expected th...