ja Page 430 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Australian Sportswriter Liveblogs 49ers Game, Discovers Just How Dumb Football Can Be
People in Australia are understandably excited about Jarryd Hayne, a former Australian rugby star who earned himself a roster spot on the San Francisco 49ers. Given that last night was his NFL debut, the Guardian had Australian sportswriter Matt Cleary liveblog the game for the folks in Hayne’s home...
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
Bucs Fans Boo Jameis
Seems Buccaneers fans are a bit impatient, as it took all of two quarters for them to boo their new starting quarterback. ...
Report: Jason Pierre-Paul Is Missing More Fingers, Could Miss Season
According to a report from ESPN’s Dan Graziano, the New York Giants got a chance to examine Jason Pierre-Paul’s fireworks-torn hand for themselves and are internally worried that the injury is worse than initially thought and could keep him out for the season. This is because, uh, well, the team did...
NYPD Releases Video Of Officer Taking Down Former Pro Tennis Player James Blake
The NYPD has released video of officer James Frascatore taking down former pro tennis player James Blake outside of a Manhattan hotel on Wednesday. It shows Blake leaning against the hotel when Frascatore throws him to the ground. Blake didn’t appear to flee or even move as Frascatore approached him...
<i>Shanghai Noon</i> Is The Goofy Kung-Fu Western You Didn't Know You Wanted
Rush Hour was a silly little action-comedy B-movie that blew the fuck up in 1998, and it was easy to get the sense, watching things play out, that Hollywood wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that level of unexpected success. The studios could make more Rush Hour movies, of course, which they absolu...
The NYPD Sting That Wrongly Arrested James Blake Seems Like A Huge Mess
NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton has personally apologized to James Blake after an officer tackled and roughed up the former tennis pro outside his Manhattan hotel Wednesday, but more details are leaking about the identity theft sting that nabbed the wrong black guy, and it looks like a clusterfuck....
Jack Johnson Is Fighting For His Contract In Bankruptcy Court
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last October, after being scammed out of millions by his parents. Now, he’s attempting to convert his filing into a Chapter 7 case—which, in very broad terms, would allow Johnson to resolve his debts by liquidating his ass...
There Is Joy In The Work
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Report: Cops Tackle, Handcuff James Blake After Mistaking Him For Identity Theft Suspect
Former No. 4 ranked tennis player James Blake was tackled and handcuffed by five plainclothes officers outside his hotel in Manhattan today, according to the New York Daily News. The cops misidentified Blake for a suspect in an identity theft ring....
America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...
Patriots Request Reinstatement Of Accused Ball-Deflating Employees
With trumped up charges and a whole lot of dodgy PSI data, the only somewhat-weighty evidence that the Patriots had a concerted ball-deflation scheme going was the text-message comedy stylings of locker-room attendant Jim “The Deflator” McNally and equipment assistant John “Dorito Dink” Jastremski. ...
Why Jason Pierre-Paul Avoided The Giants All Summer
Defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul met with the Giants on Monday for the first time all year, and let team doctors examine his injured hand for the first time since losing his index finger in a fireworks accident. But the timing of his return, so close to the start of the season, was no accident: Pierr...
Kansas State Band Insists They Were Not In Dong Formation
Kansas State officials continue to apologize for anyone they might have offended by Saturday’s Jayhawk-vs-dong marching band formation, while insisting there was “no ill intention.” The Star Trek-themed program purported to show the U.S.S. Enterprise attacking a “horrible space creature,” but to nea...
High Schoolers Who Attacked Ref Suspended, Could Face Criminal Charges
The two San Antonio-area high school football players who targeted and blindsided an official during a game Friday have been suspended and could face criminal charges, according to ESPN....
Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]
This is, supposedly, the Kansas State band as the U.S.S. Enterprise “encountering a horrible space creature.” It looks a lot more like the Kansas Jayhawk performing fellatio....
Jarryd Hayne Ruined A Cornerback's Night
Despite a 49ers offseason that featured chaos, abrupt retirements, and the installation of a retired barstool as head coach, there is at least one nice story on the team: Jarryd Hayne. The 27-year-old former rugby league player played well enough in the preseason to merit serious consideration for a...
Jason Pierre-Paul Will Return To The Giants
It’s been a strange offseason for DE Jason Pierre-Paul, who, when he finally returns to the Giant next week, will report with nine fingers and a franchise tender he’s not sure he wants to sign. ...