ja Page 505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chart: How Does Your NFL Team Stack Up On Offense and Defense?
Over at Advanced NFL Stats, Brian Burke has put together a great visualization plotting the offensive and defensive performance of the league's 32 teams. It's nothing too complicated—basically a NYMag Approval Matrix for football—but it reveals a lot about the state of the NFL through Week 5....

Impostors Posing As USC Reps Reach Out To Potential Football Coaches
So you know those reports that say USC has reached out to Tony Dungy and (possibly) Jack Del Rio to replace Lane Kiffin? Yeah, well, those overtures never happened. Oh, someone claiming to be from USC did call Dungy and a member of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Whoever it was just wasn't actual...

What's More Improbable: The Jaguars' +28 Line Or An 11-Inch Penis?
The murmurs began last week, before the Broncos put up 51 points against the Cowboys and the Jaguars lost second-overall pick Luke Joeckel to injury. And when the dust of Week 5 had settled, sure enough, the betting line for Jaguars at Broncos was set at 28 points, which is a lot....

High School Football Player Runs Over Entire Defense For 50-Yard TD
This is what happens when a defense made up entirely of kids who can't tackle try to take on a running back who has a little Bo Jackson in him. ...

Jaguars-Broncos Opens With The Largest Point Spread In NFL History
It's happening. Sunday's Jaguars-Broncos tilt in Denver has opened with the Broncos anywhere from 27- to 28-point favorites. If that holds—and one sportsbook manager told us he still expects most of the money to come in on Denver—it'd be the largest spread in NFL history....

<em>SNL's</em> Jay Pharoah Does A Tremendous Shannon Sharpe Impression
Jay Pharoah is SNL's master impressionist, and although his Barack Obama may be a bit uninspiring, his Shannon Sharpe leaves nothing to be desired. Our only complaint has to do with his tie knot. That sucker needs to be much, much bigger....

More Like The New York Fumble Giants
Brandon Jacobs, brought (back) in to bolster a shaky and turnover-prone running game, fumbled without ever being touched....

Every James Bond First Edition
From The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit. ...

The Injury History Of Everyone On The Field When Jake Locker Got Hurt
Four seconds into the play above, Jake Locker took an awkward double hit from Muhammad Wilkerson and Quinton Coples and had to be carted off the field with a hip injury. If anyone could sympathize, it was, well, everyone else on the field....

Albert Pujols Will Sue You If You Say He Used PEDs
In what is surely a distant second in sexiness among today's baseball lawsuits, Albert Pujols is suing former radio host Jack Clark for claiming he knew "for a fact" that Pujols used steroids in St. Louis....

Here's Dusty Baker's Version Of How He Got Fired
This morning, the Reds announced that Dusty Baker is out as Reds managers after six seasons. It was ostensibly a "mutual" decision, but no one bought that. Now Baker gets to tell his side of the story, and if you believe him, he threw himself on his sword to save his hitting coach....

The Red Sox's Best Reliever Once Aspired To Be A Gym Teacher
Koji Uehara was, by any measure, the Red Sox's best relief pitcher this season. Indeed, only two Boston starters accumulated a higher WAR than Uehara, who finished the regular season with a 1.09 ERA in 74.1 innings pitched—mostly as the third-string closer after injuries to Joel Hanrahan and Andrew...

Penguins Remove Jagr's Image From Their Locker Room, For Some Reason
So says Pittsburgh Tribune-Review columnist Dejan Kovacevic, who broke the news last night:...

Why You Can't Talk About Pop Culture Like You Talk About Sports
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Image by Jim Cooke....

Athletes Among Us: The Stories Behind These Cool Photographs
Last year the photographer Jordan Matter released a super-cool book called Dancers Among Us. He put dancers in everyday situations—in the middle of a park, a subway station, on a busy sidewalk—and photographed them, out of context, doing their dance moves. As a follow-up to the book, Matter has rel...

How Jack Ryan Kept Tom Clancy From Buying The Minnesota Vikings
Tom Clancy died last night at the age of 66, after a long and prolific career as one of the country's most popular military and espionage writers. But during a whirlwind few months in 1998, Clancy nearly joined the ranks of that most American club: dilettante NFL owners....

Come Chat With America's Cup-Winning Skipper Jimmy Spithill
We're joined in the office by Oracle Team USA skipper Jimmy Spithill, who led a historic comeback from seven races down to win the America's Cup. He'll be in the comments below, so ask him anything about boats, boating, being an Australian representing a "Team USA" and other boat-related questions....


