ja Page 577 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...
Gaah! Torry Holt's Finger Will Haunt Your Dreams
Your morning roundup for Nov. 11, the day we learned you can be arrested for being annoying. Photo via Carmine R. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Rest Easy, America: The White House Disapproves Of Penn State Child Rape
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that "the president's thoughts and prayers, and all our thoughts and prayers, are with the victims of the abuse and the family members of those victims."...
Are All Fake Field Goals And Fake Punts Useless?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
LeBron Dunks, Mean Mugs, Refuses Lady's High-Five
LeBron played in Rudy Gay's charity all-star game just outside of Memphis last night. He scored 43 points and, as he tends to do, made no new friends at the DeSoto Civic Center in Southaven, Miss. There might be a lockout underway, but worry not, heathens: Together, we will still find ways to mock...
Jay Cutler's On-And-Off Ladyfriend, Kristin Cavallari, Says He Has The Best Butt In Football
@KristinCav wishes @JayCutler6, and his butt, luck tonight against Juan Castillo and his occasionally ferocious wide nine defense: "To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching." Suave Cutler replies, "thanks babe."...
Patriotic GameDay Protesters Unfurl FIRE CRAIG JAMES Banner
Math scholars will debate for centuries whether it is possible Craig James > Tebow....
The Trystan Magnuson Era In Toronto Begins, And Other Exciting Hot Stove Developments
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...
Craig James Recommends You Not Watch <em>SportsCenter</em>; Rest Of Nation Recommends You Not Watch Craig James
If ESPN analyst Craig James were a football coach—as opposed to someone who allegedly gets football coaches fired—he'd tell athletes not to watch SportsCenter, because "highlight culture" promotes "reckless handling of the football." ESPN's lead Thursday announcer Rece Davis, who must have done so...
Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
Dear Bill Simmons, The Helmet Catch Was Not Luck
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...
What Do NFL Scouts Think They Know About Quarterbacks?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...
And You Didn't Think It Was Possible To Score A Header From 63 Yards Out
Ryujiro Ueda, a defender for J-League team Fagiano Okayama, enters the record books with the longest header goal in soccer (or at least YouTube) history. He owes at least a share of the record to the goalkeeper, who supplies the kinetic energy and misplays the ball perfectly. [Daily Mail]...
JaVale McGee To Become The Latest Non-Filipino On The Philippines National Basketball Team (UPDATE)
The Philippines is a nation crazy about basketball. Sick of always losing to China in the FIBA Asia Championships, which act as qualifiers for the Olympics and World Championships, the country has taken advantage of some lax laws on citizenship to stock their team with talent from around the world. ...
In New Book, Shaq Explains How Kobe's Sexual Assault Charges Destroyed The Lakers
Shaq Uncut: My Story, the Diesel's new autobiography written with noted Around the Horn personage Jackie MacMullan, comes out November 15 and it dropped on our desk today. There's some juicy stuff in there, most obviously about the beef between Shaq and Kobe. We had always known that the feud took a...
Let's All Enjoy The Poetry In Motion That Is Several Fat Men Lateraling A Sack-Fumble Recovery
The Jacksonville Jaguars, whose only real highlight play this season came in a torrential downpour, executed a lovely double-lateral after a Clint Session sack of Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the second quarter of their matchup at Reliant Stadium....
Apparently Georgia Tech Has A Passing Game. Who Knew?
Georgia Tech is leading unbeaten and fifth-ranked Clemson 24-3 at the half, in part due to this Megatronic 44-yard catch by Stephen Hill off a Tevin Washington pass. Washington's been worse than trash most of the season as a passer & Clemson can't possibly play as inept an offensive game in the se...