ja Page 678 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Keith Van Horn Has A Nice Gig, If You Can Get It
After the Jason Kidd trade finally went down — Mark Cuban says "this deal will have impact!" — the one question everyone had was ... Keith Van Horn's still playing? No, he isn't, which you probably know by now; he just never filed the papers. And now he's even richer than he was before....

Non-Robotic Jason Taylor To Dance Like The Wind
You surely remember the monstrosity (and potential extinctive agent for humanity as a whole) that was the Jason Taylor Robot. (It responds to visual stimulation! Ack!) Well, the real life version — as much as a "real life version" can exist — is about to be cutting a proverbial rug....

Media Approval Ratings: James Brown
Bill Simmons has implied that the success of CBS' pregame show over FOX's is because James Brown, Harvard grad (and former Atlanta Hawks draft pick), switched to the Eye in 2006. We would like to remind you all, by the way, that this guy hosted "America's Funniest Home Videos." Also, and we didn't r...

Only Devean George Understands The Power He Wields
Of all the comments in the wake of the Jason Kidd trade that was, oddly, blocked by Devean George of all people, our favorite might have been in the live blog of the Mavs' game against the Blazers:...

Stephen Jackson Is Somewhat Lacking In Flow
Even Ron Artest was better, though only at hip-hop, not randomly leveling strangers in the crowd....

Christian Group to Protest ESPN Tomorrow Over Culture of Insensitivity
It seems the latest round of Berman videos was enough to prompt a return trip to Bristol for angry Christians. A press release reveals all of ESPN's sins that need to be addressed and protested tomorrow at noon:...

This Doesn't Happen At Benihana
A major controversy rocked Japan (but not as hard as Loudness!) when police arrested three sumo wrestlers and their stable master for a hazing incident that resulted in the death of a teenage wrestler (Ed. note — oooof.)to death. Sumo apparently puts its prospective wrestlers through a rigorous trai...

The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...


Jamboroo XXII: The Super Bowlaroo, Featuring Queens Of the Stone Age, Kix, Guacamole, New Drinking Games And Stolen Porn
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Even when there are no games....


Free Jarkko!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

The Clashing Of The Titanic Titans
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Photo Of The Day: Denim And Jugs
I'll be honest with you: I have no idea when, where and why this photo was taken. Hell, I don't even know who that woman is, though I suspect Brooks does. (UPDATE: Yup.) I just wanted to post this to complete this spectacular Kareem garment collection. Done and done....

Put A Cork In The Grey Goose!
A little birdie — with a healthy appetite for sunflower seeds and large-breasted woman — just flew into my apartment and whispered to me that, apparently, ESPN has yanked all coverage of the Dana Jacobson story. How dare they!...

Hey, Look, Dana Jacobson's Having Some Fun
So ... here's a fun picture. That's Dana Jacobson. Having fun. (Baseball Musings found the photo.)...

The Super Bowl Bye Week Jamboroo, In Which Drew Pauses To Make A Serious Point About Blogging As Journalism, Then Makes Chili
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Even when there are no games....