ja Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Elway Should Be Free To Drink To His Heart's Content
The deification of John Elway in the Denver area is all-encompassing; we think Colorado might give Elway their presidential electoral votes just on general principle. Which is why we couldn't be more stunned: Someone cut off Elway from drinking at a bar!...
Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Mark Mangino, Your Photo Gallery
We don't know about you, but we're entranced by Kansas coach Mark Mangino. He's like Rick Majerus, but less cartoonish. He looks like what we want football coaches to look like; sorry, ladies, but he's married!...
Behind The Scenes Of ESPN First Take ... Goin' Deep!
Our nation's educational system is in serious peril. How do we know? ESPN First Take's Jay Crawford is now showing up to massage our youth's tender young brains....
Warriors Refuse To Come Out And Play
• Who Still Believes? A glaring absence of celebrity fans on Tuesday in Oakland, as the Warriors dropped to 0-4 with a 108-104 loss to the Cavaliers. My yellow "We Believe" T-shirt has only been worn once, and already is in danger of becoming obsolete. In the meantime, let's let Golden State of Mind...
Bill James Has Really Let Himself Go
This is from over the weekend, but we weren’t here over the weekend, so we have to weigh in on this particularly entertaining Kansas fan....
Jamboroo, Week 9: The Budding Legend Of Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Why Steroids Make You Strong And More Famous
Just in case anyone forgot: Rafael Palmeiro tests positive for a steroid and an entire Hall of Fame career is destroyed. Rick Ankiel is prescribed HGH by a doctor when it's neither illegal nor banned by baseball, and he's a disgrace to the story we all once admired. Jaguars defensive end Marcus Stro...
Cleveland Does Not Rock
• Curse Of The Yankees Lid. LeBron James supposed it was good, harmless fun to sport a Yankees' cap during the American League playoffs, but now that bad karma is coming back to bite him on the ass. If, you know, karma has teeth. James suffered through the only non-scoring first half of his NBA care...
Somewhere, There Are Some Japanese Restaurant Investors Wondering Where They Went Wrong
We like the idea of a major league manager named "Trey." It seems like an oddly informal name for a manager: We imagine them all having grizzled old-guy names, like Whitey, or Miller. But new Royals manager Trey Hillman is fresh off years with the Nippon Ham Fighters, and he's got, like, a new attit...
Boston's Rookies Are Too Much For Colorado
Who needs Papi, Manny, and Beckett when you've got Dustin, Jacoby, and Matsuzaka? The trio of rookies set the tone for the Boston Red Sox in their Game 3 victory over the Colorado Rockies. Jacoby Ellsbury moved into the leadoff spot and he responded with four big hits. Fellow rookie Dustin Pedroia m...
Jamboroo, Week 8: Joey Porter's London Itinerary
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
A Look At LeBron James
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...
Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks
We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing?...
The Machine Rebellion Begins, Wearing No. 99
Seriously, that thing's gonna kill somebody. Which it becomes self-aware, man, we're all doomed....
Jason Taylor Is Attacking London
If you happen to be reading this from London, hey there! Put another shrimp on the barbie! Konichiwa! Bellisimo! No me importa un pimiento! Elcome-way oo-tay ee-thay ational-Nay ootball-Fay eague-Lay!...
The Colts Haven't Lost Since December, And Still No One Notices
You know, Jacksonville isn't a bad team; you could make a strong argument that they're the fourth best team in the AFC. And Indianapolis is the quiet undefeated defending Super Bowl champion team nobody is talking about. And they hammered the Jags last night....
It's Monday Night In Jacksonville!
You know that "Monday Night Football" means business when the program comes to Jacksonville. You might remember Tony Kornheiser's famous anti-Jacksonville screeds. (They even bothered him in restaurants....
Jake Plummer Is Obsessed With Tiny Blue Balls
It's Sunday, and the following quarterbacks are starting for NFL teams this week: Kerry Collins, Cleo Lemon, Kyle Boller, and Brian Griese. With Timmy Chang probably a Tim Rattay elbow injury away from getting a phone call, some fans are probably amazed that they could use the services Jake Plummer ...