jack Page 129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

Media Approval Ratings: Tom Jackson
Because it's Draft Week, we're focusing on some NFL guys this week, and we always like to touch on Tom Jackson whenever we have the chance....

Nothing Good Comes Out Of A Bottle Of Belvedere
In looking at this picture of a gangsta-casual Stephen Jackson swigging from a Belvedere bottle at a party, it's impossible not to worry about the potential repercussions he'll have to endure once this photo hit the web. Because, remember what happened to the last person who took decided that aggre...

Jackie Chan Threatens To Chop Protesters, Make 'Rush Hour 4'
Leave it to diminutive Kung Fu dervish Jackie Chan to put this Olympic Torch protest thing into perspective. Chan, who will be a torchbearer when the relay comes to Beijing next week, says that he will deal harshly with any miscreants who might try to grab the flame from his tiny, powerful mitts....

Celebrating Jackie Robinson Day With Canadian Highlights And Lou Gossett Jr.
When honoring the great Jackie Robinson and all he has meant to baseball, my first thought was the same as the Dodgers': Roll out Chaka Khan. What, no Rufus? Tell me something good .... Of course Lou Gossett Jr. was also there, so it made perfect sense. Look, I don't like the fact that Jackie Robins...

Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....

A New Approach On How To Get Out Of Those Pesky DUIs
Most of us have probably made the ridiculously stupid decision to drink and drive at some point in our lives. Some of us may have even been pulled over, which makes the stupid decision become an expensive and humiliating one. (Here's a tip: Refuse the breathalzyer.) But even if those circumstances d...

Red Sox, A's Look Like They'd Rather Not Be In Japan
The Boston Red Sox and Oakland A's landed in Japan yesterday — their series starts Tuesday at 6 a.m. ET — after an 18-hour flight. We've never taken an 18-hour flight, but if we did, the last thing we'd want as soon as we got off the plane would be a bunch of photographers ready to take our picture....

About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...

Stephen Jackson Is Somewhat Lacking In Flow
Even Ron Artest was better, though only at hip-hop, not randomly leveling strangers in the crowd....


Jaguars-Patriots, Second Half Live Blog
I'll give Boston the benefit of the doubt and assume that most New Englanders know how to spell "asterisk" correctly. But when Stephen Savoia took this picture for the Associated Press, he made it a point to ensure that Johnny West, the man holding the sign, was called out for the misspelling, and t...

Jaguars-Patriots, First Half Live Blog
The team nobody wants to play is playing the other team nobody wants to play. I forget which is which. While the first half of the Green Bay-Seattle game was phenomenal, the remainder pretty much bit the jawbreaker. Let's see if the Patriots and Jaguars can provide a full 60 minutes of entertainment...

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jaguars
It's always nice to see the NFL adopting baseball's strategy of scheduling the most exciting postseason games really late at night. Though we might just be getting old....

The AFC Consolation Bracket
See, now this photo is just being mean. As if life after you've dropped a potential game-winning touchdown pass isn't hard enough; then you gotta have an opponent making fun of you about it. Tsk tsk....

Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville
Well that last game pretty much ripped my heart right out, but I don't think this one is capable of such damage. Regardless, there's money on the table and I'm already down, so my interest stoked. The Jaguars crossed Clemente Bridge for the second time in three weeks with enough confidence to take t...

Jenny Hendrix Loves Jags, Anal
The Jacksonville Jaguars have stormed into the playoffs with a bandwagon that has quickly filled near capacity. Well now they've got something even better going for them. When the Jags take on the Pittsburgh Steelers in the second game of today's wild card double header they'll have a porn star in t...

NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Jaguars
Everybody loves the Jaguars all of a sudden. We dunno: If Big Ben stays off the bike, look out....

Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....

About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the Global Orgasm For Peace ... • NFL: Willie Parker will be able to use the handicapped parking space at Steelers practice all next week. Pittsburgh 41, St. Louis 24. • College football: Navy and Utah pound each other like the Monitor and the Merrimack until one ...