jam Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...

Yes, This Is CBS Host James Brown Interviewing A Fake Baby
It took CBS all of 15 hours to do something more embarrassing than prematurely reporting Joe Paterno's death. Here's a clip from the network's The NFL Today, something we're pretty sure is an advertisement for E*Trade—though we thought FCC rules mandated such things needed to be disclosed to the ...

The Patriot Way Is Now A Load Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Craig James's Senate Campaign Is Going About As Poorly As You Expected It To Go
The Houston Chronicle has the former ESPN analyst polling lower than Michele Bachmann in Iowa in his run for a Texas U.S. Senate seat. When James made his intention to run known last month, his "name recognition" figured to be among his assets. So how's that working out?...

Dwyane Wade Turns 30, Has Best Super Sweet 16 Party Ever
Judging by the countless professional photographs and edited montage videos that tend to come out of these productions nowadays, Dwyane Wade had a more expensive and corporate-sponsored birthday party than you this year....

Here's ESPN's Heather Cox Reciting Lyrics To Rick Ross's "Fuck 'Em" Live On The Air
Maybe I'm missing the story. Maybe the story is that Heather Cox worked Tim Tebow, LeBron James, and Rick Ross into a single sentence. While previous ESPN on-air rap recitations have gone pretty smoothly, this instance (during last night's Heat-Nuggets battle) felt...wrong. [ESPN]...

Jamaal Magloire Airballed A Free Throw In Spectacular Fashion
12 seconds left, game on the line. In whose hands do you want the ball? Definitely not Jamaal Magloire, who sealed a Pacers win by airballing his first free throw and bricking (but at least catching rim) on the second. [TSN]...

ESPN Manages To Work LeBron James Into A Tim Tebow Story
Brett Favre must have been unavailable for comment. [ESPN]...

How The Song "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The march toward musical empire began on Oct. 22, 2003, in a bar in Milan, Italy, 4,300 miles away from Detroit. Fans of Club Brugge K.V., in town for their team's group-stage UEFA Champions League clash against European giant A.C. Milan, gathered to knock back some pre-match beers. Over a stereo bl...

Chris Bosh, Like Rest Of World, Would Rather Dwyane Wade Take The Final Shot Than LeBron James
Chris Bosh sat down with GQ's Mark Anthony Green this week for a "GQ&A." Some things we learned: Bosh's favorite book is The 33 Strategies of War, he has "probably" felt depressed before, and he thinks that Dwyane Wade is both a better dresser and better in the clutch than LeBron James....

Does The Cialis Couple Bang On That Ferris Wheel? (And Other Matters)
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. ...

ShortCenter: Ric Bucher Has Nice Hair, Doubts About The Miami Heat
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Breaking: LeBron Travels, Doesn't Get Whistled
Put down the pitchforks and torches, people. I know this is unprecedented, but hopefully we can make it through together. It seems an NBA player—a superstar, if you will—took more than his two-step allowance and even moved his pivot foot. Despite this, travelling was not called. ...

Campaign Donation To Craig James Contains Hidden Message About Dead Hookers
Craig James for Senate has taken off with the force of a thousand suns. Texans, and people from all over the world, have donated literally tens of dollars to the James Train. Can anything stop this force of nature, besides unfounded but stubborn allegations from his past about dead prostitutes found...

The Entire NFL Challenge System Needs To Be Destroyed
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

ShortCenter: Jalen Rose Does Some Method Acting To Discuss LeBron's Post Game
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

LeBron James Gets Engaged, Preemptively Breaks His New Year's Resolution To Stop Being So Tacky
LeBron proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, at a joint New Year's Eve and King James birthday celebration last night. And she said yes! How romantic....

A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...

A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....

Cam Newton Blames JaMarcus Russell And Vince Young For The Disrespect He Gets
We wrote a bit yesterday about how Panthers QB/super-rookie Cam Newton has been shortchanged by the national media. We framed it through the prism of Tim Tebow, although Newton deserves plenty of recognition in his own right....