jared Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...
Well That Was Exhilarating As Shit
The Rams and the Chiefs played the highest-scoring contest in the history of Monday Night Football tonight, a 54–51 barnburner in which every play seemed to go for 18 yards, and every third play seemed to produce a touchdown. It was maybe the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched. Did you mi...
Jared Goff Is Shooting His Shot With Halle Berry, I Guess
Jared Goff hoped she would hear it. On the Rams’ first offensive drive of their 36-31 win over the Seahawks, Goff called an audible, and knew the CBS mics would pick it up. “I was like, ‘It’s so quiet right now, this is going to get on TV,’” he said....
Why Would Todd Gurley Need Preseason, Anyway?
Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay decided, for various reasons, not to play all but one of his starters in his team’s first two preseason games. Most will sit out Saturday’s game against Houston, including quarterback Jared Goff and running back Todd Gurley. Next week, per tradition, no starters wil...
Did You Know Adam Silver Is Pals With Jared Kushner?
BuzzFeed’s Steven Perlberg wrote a thorough story today about official White House mascot Jared Kushner personally ordering a software developer at the New York Observer—which he owned for years after receiving it as a “graduation present” from his father, a convicted criminal—to delete potentially ...
UFC Fighter Jared Gordon Shares Video Of Street Brawl That Left Him With Grisly Injury
UFC lightweight Jared Gordon lost his most recent bout in the cage in February, but as he revealed yesterday, he fought with a completely fucked-up left hand. Gordon told ESPN’s Ariel Helwani that he suffered a grisly hand injury, requiring 21 stitches, when he defended his friend in a wild street f...
Arkansas First Baseman Exchanges Faceful Of Dirt For One (1) Out
Arkansas beat Oregon State in Game 1 of the College World Series finals tonight, 4-1, and they pretty much cruised through the back half of their win. But one guy who could never be accused of giving less than 150 percent tonight was Razorbacks first baseman Jared Gates. In the fifth inning, Gates m...
Jared Donaldson's Legs Cramped Up, So He Had To Serve Underhand
American Jared Donaldson had an incredible performance in today’s second-round French Open match against the fourth-seeded Grigor Dimitrov, pushing the Bulgarian to the brink in the fifth set, before fatigue was the ultimate decider. Donaldson resorted to trickery to get around his cramping, but it...
Tennis Player Screams In Chair Umpire's Face During Overgrown Tantrum
American Jared Donaldson all but stamped his foot while screeching at the chair umpire about a serve that was called in during the second set of his first-round Monte Carlo match against Albert Ramos-Viñolas....
Report: Sixers Co-Owner Did Some Shady Business With Jared Kushner
Senior White House adviser and shitty businessman Jared Kushner is the subject of a New York Times report that suggests he is exactly the kind of person you’d assume him to be: a witless and corrupt cretin desperately trying to use his elevated position in the White House to keep his failing real es...
Jeff Fisher Must Be Arrested And Tried For His Crimes Against Football
Back in November, when the Los Angeles Rams revealed themselves as a legitimately formidable and dominant team, a significant share of the success seemed like it could be credited to simply getting rid of head coach and possible quarterback poisoner Jeff Fisher. Since then, it is clear that I was to...
Jared Dudley Brutally Fat-Shamed By Enes Kanter
Hey, remember Jared Dudley? The doughy swingman who makes the analytics crowd swoon with his sparkling net rating history? Unbelievably, the 32-year-old Dudley is still kicking around the NBA, as a seldom-used bench gnome for the doomed and hopeless and endlessly depressing Phoenix Suns, the Western...
Jared Goff's Audibles Include "Ric Flair" And "Tupac"
Rams QB Jared Goff was mic’d up during the team’s 33-7 win over the Houston Texans on Sunday, which allowed everyone to learn some of L.A.’s audibles. Head coach Sean McVay and his coaches seem to have chosen a celebrity-heavy assortment. Here they are, courtesy of USA Today’s Cameron DaSilva:...
The Giants Gave Up A Touchdown On Third And 33
It doesn’t get any easier for a defense than third and 33. Play as conservative as possible, keep everyone in front of you, and there’s no way the offense should be able to gain all they need....
Wait, Do The Rams Actually Have An Offense Now?
Remember way back in December of 2016, not even a year ago, when the Rams were the most embarrassing team in football? Remember when star running back Todd Gurley was putting together a sophomore slump for the ages and saying things like, “we looked like a middle school offense out there.” Remember ...
I'm So Glad Jared And Ivanka Are Miserable In Washington D.C.
There are a lot of infuriating motherfuckers in the Trump administration, but after every bubbling controversy, my strongest ire consistently circles back to Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump. These two are the worst because they’re the ones who pretend not to be the worst, who fancy themselves ambassa...
I Am Beginning To Think Jared Kushner May Not Be A Devious Mastermind After All
One of the persistent and hilarious myths of the Trump administration—along with “He’s flailing around like a spastic toddler on purpose to distract you from Russia!”—has been the narrative of Jared Kushner: Machiavellian Trump Whisperer. It’s one of the few things Donald Trump and his critics seem ...
Twitter Guy Wants You To Think He Was <i>This Close</i> To Bringing Down The Trump Regime<em></em>
Yesterday, Donald Trump Jr., in an attempt to undercut a New York Times story that was minutes away from being published, tweeted out images of an email thread in which he agreed to meet with a “Russian government lawyer” who promised to give him damaging information about Hillary Clinton. The email...
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Look At This Fucking Asshole<em></em>
Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge...