joe Page 139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Justin Timberlake At The All-Star Game: Drunk, Sarcastic, Drunk-Sarcastic, Or Just Obnoxious?
Justin Timberlake has redeemable qualities, doesn't he? He can sing and dance, he is a good SNL host, and he reportedly even has feelings. All this is more than we can say about Joe Buck. So no matter your opinion of the former boy band front-teen, he deserves some credit for agreeing to a live-br...

Minor League Involving Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, and Pete LaCock Devolves Into Extreme Chaos
One wishes there were a way to succinctly explain what the hell went on this weekend in the North American Baseball League. There isn't, but "mop-up catcher Joey Gathright" gets us pretty close to explaining the weird story of the NABL's Lake County (Ill.) Fielders, owned in part by Kevin Costner....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....

Joe Flacco's New Bride Is A Very Understanding Woman
Marriage is supposed to be compromising, right? [JasonPrezant.com, h/t Andy]...

Help Awful Announcing Decide Who's Just As Awful As Joe Morgan
Awful Announcing will remove Joe Morgan from the Lincoln spot on its Mt. Rushmore of awful announcers. They'll replace him with the readers' choice in a 32-person summer tournament. Today: Reilly-Harrelson and Paige-Bayless. Go forth exercise your right! [Reilly-Harrelson, Paige-Bayless]...

Kobayashi Somehow Sets A New, Totally Unofficial Hot Dog Eating Record
With the Empire State Building as a backdrop and a drag queen named Mimi Imfurst cracking jokes about stuffing wieners into Anderson Cooper's mouth, Takeru Kobayashi executed an improbably perfect "up yours" to the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, from which he's been barred over a long-running cont...

Joe Paterno On Stroking And Big Kisses, Completely Out Of Context
Last night, ESPN hosted an hour-long feature called "'Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski." The coaches talked about greatness and being great and the ways of the greats and how great it is to be great, and Rece Davis mentioned a few times that they were both quite great. I...

Twins Catcher Joe Mauer Has A Big Fan In Milwaukee
Sure, Minnesota Twins catcher may be caught up in the midst of the "Pitchgate" scandal, and he may be batting .190 after going 1-for-4 in an 11-1 drubbing at the hands of the Brewers, but that didn't stop one big fan from dedicating his back to good old Joe....

Elaine's Was A Dump, Or The Grantland Fallacy
ESPN's Professional Southerner Wright Thompson used his space in Grantland to write a loving meditation on Elaine's, the now-defunct bad New York restaurant mainly known to people under 45 as a Billy Joel lyric. This made Thompson at least the third member of his little circle of sportswriting buddi...

Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....

Joe Paterno Uses Skype, Wonders Why He Can't Get A Dial Tone
Obvious joke: I had no idea you could Skype on the Jitterbug. Actually, you know what, this whole post and comments section is going to be obvious jokes about old people using technology. So let's just say this is probably some sort of recruiting violation, and Paterno thought he was talking to his ...

Montana Quarterback Nate Montana Arrested For DUI In Montana
Hannah is not a suspect. [The Missoulian]...

Announcer Stays Cool As Foul Ball Smashes Into Press Box
At a game last month, Southern Illinois University Edwardsville announcer Joe Pott maintained his composure and his baritone has a ball came through the window at him. Keep an eye on this guy, folks. [h/t Daryl]...

"This Is Her Cage As Well As Mine": MMA Fighter Proposes After Win
MMA fighter and leukemia survivor Bryan Baker proposed to his girlfriend last night after his KO against Joe Riggs, and she said yes. Aw, right? We're more impressed, though, with Baker's honesty. "I wanna give her the world," he told a full house in Newkirk, Okla., and then crafted a beautiful me...

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

Joba Chamberlain Will Protect His PlateYou Can Now Watch Joba Protect His Plate At The Official Website Of Major League Baseball
The Yankees came from behind to beat the Orioles 6-5 in ten innings of play last night. Joe Girardi called this play "the difference in the game."...

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

Minor Leaguer Mercifully Cut By Indians Organization, Hits Million-Dollar Scratch-Off Ticket
Joel Torres still has major-league dreams despite being released by the minor-league Akron Aeros baseball team last month. He may have emptied all the luck from his tank yesterday, though, when he picked up a $660,300 lump-sum payment for hitting a $1 million "Sweet Millions" lottery ticket that h...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

The Hissy Fit Over The Kings Enters Angry Letter-Writing Phase
The Maloof brothers are determined to move their basketball team to Anaheim. But Kevin Johnson, the mayor of broke-ass Sacramento, isn't having it, not unless the Maloofs first pay off the $77 million they owe. So Sacramento fired off a snippy letter to Anaheim (see below). This is correspondence fr...