john Page 203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
St. John's Also Excited About Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascot
Our college sports teams are rocketing into the 21st Century on a wave of aggressive, overcaffeinated, lightning-themed spirit creatures. Why is that bird looking at me like that? Is he smiling or mad? Get out of my soul, winged devil!...
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....
Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human
I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself....
If You Have A Heart Left, This Story Will Touch It
This one's for you cynical bastards, inured to a summer of miserable stories. With the death of a high school football player's grandmother, the only parent he ever knew, he gained two new foster fathers: his coaches....
Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Ron Artest and John Green, Reunited At Last
Sports history was made today when professional crazy man Ron Artest and amateur famewhore John Green called into Detroit's "Drew and Mike" show at the same time, so they could talk about their friendship and simultaneously plug non-existent charity events....
Ron Artest And Palace Beer Thrower Become BFFs
Ron Artest says he tracked down John Green—the Detroit thug who threw a beer at him, sparking the worstfunnest night in NBA history—not so he could throttle him silly, but so they could team up for exciting adventures!...
Final Update: Red Rover, Red Rover, Hugh Johnson Is Over
For today at least. And somehow we made it through with only 70% of you realizing I know nothing about college football. Your final HJP of the day is below....
Update 2: Not All Technological Advancements Benefit Mankind
Now we're cookin'! Paulus choked (which should please you), Kenny Chesney sucks, and Lee Corso is frighteningly detailed....
Update 1: All Systems Go
In the words of jeremycham, "it has begun". Some good stuff to start, but we could have used a few more Greg Paulus references....
Guess Hugh's Back?
The Hugh Johnson Project, that is the one who is back!...
Two Of Kentucky's Greatest Minds Finally Meet
Yes, that's living giant and "You Tube Sports" reporter Kige Ramsey perched behind new Kentucky head coach John Calipari. If an audio clip of this conversation existed it'd be translated into 30 different languages and pored over for centuries. [FriendsOfTheProgram]...
Oklahoma State Fans Incensed Over New Lame-Ass Fight Song
The Oklahoma State Cowboys are unveiling a new pre-game song this year which has some alumni and current students upset due to the tune's overall nonsensical wussiness. Cowboys Forever, y'all....
NFL Preemptively Stops First Twitter Touchdown Celebration
As expected, the NFL has laid down a formal law banning the use of Twitter during games, providing fans with at least one safe haven in the ongoing war to see who can be the league's most obnoxious player....
New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes
Two weeks ago, John Smoltz left Boston a washed up failure. Then one bullpen session with the Cardinals and suddenly he's a future Hall of Famer again. All because his teammates figured out what Boston coaches couldn't....
Paper Tigers: Memphis Didn't Win Those Things They Won
Your new NCAA record-holder for most wins in a season: the four teams that used to hold it before Memphis won 38 in 2007-08. That's because Memphis has to vacate all of them, plus their Final Four appearance....