john Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Poop Johnson Is Back In The News
No, his first name is not really “Poop.” It’s Cory. That doesn’t take anything away from how this transaction was delivered, though:...
Johnny Cueto Once Again Remembers His Dead Horse With Photo Of His Dead Horse
Johnny Cueto’s horse named Popeye has died, according to his Instagram. For proof, the Giants pitcher shared a photo of the dead horse:...
John Elway Will Trade A Pick He Would've Screwed Up Anyway For Joe Flacco
Last season’s Denver Broncos went 6-10 with an unimpressive 30-year-old quarterback, putting them in position to pick in the top 10 for the third time in the last 27 years. Their poor record, formidable division, and need to actually rebuild would seem to make them a curious candidate to pay up for...
LSU Devastates Papa John With Tip-In Winner Against Kentucky
The LSU-Kentucky game at Rupp Arena was a thriller won by the Tigers in the final seconds, 73-71. The back-and-forth home stretch was engrossing for everyone who watched, not least of which was noted Kentucky fan and damp fratboy Papa John, who sat behind the UK bench and was deeply, visibly involve...
Papa John Joins Long And Noble Tradition Of Asshole Kentucky Bandwagoners
Disgraced pizza man Papa “John” Schnatter, having been ostracized by the University of Louisville after he was revealed as a racist and a horrible boss, has evidently abandoned all support for his formerly beloved Cardinals. Instead of continuing to root for Louisville despite the removal of his nam...
SafeSport Has Closed Its Investigation Of Pairs Skater John Coughlin Due To His Death
The U.S. Center for SafeSport announced today that it was ending its investigation into multiple reports of sexual misconduct involving former pairs skater John Coughlin. SafeSport had placed Coughlin on an interim suspension in January after three people reported his possible sexual misconduct to t...
The NBA Is Tying Itself Into A Big Knot Over Another Stupid Tampering Concern
The Lakers issued a statement Monday evening clarifying the timeline of communication between Magic Johnson and Ben Simmons, back in November, when Simmons reached out to Magic for tips about playing in the NBA as a humongous point guard who can’t shoot. This is something I’m afraid we all have to c...
Kareem Hunt Gets Another Chance From The Guy Who Drafted Him
Running back Kareem Hunt, who was cut by the Kansas City Chiefs in November after TMZ published a video of him kicking and shoving a woman at a hotel last February, has a new job with the Cleveland Browns. His old boss was willing to vouch for him....
Magic Johnson Wants To Assure You He Won't Be Tampering During His Potential Offseason Workouts With Ben Simmons
After the Lakers’ front office, LeBron James and Klutch Sports were thoroughly embarrassed by the Pelicans at this year’s trade deadline, one would think it’d be wise for all those involved to maybe take a step back when questions about players from other teams come up. Unfortunately for Magic Johns...
John Wall Imperils Several Perfectly Fine Ligaments Threatening JuJu Smith-Schuster Over Injury Joke
Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster gave some very mild business to John Wall over the particulars of his latest injury, which involved Wall rupturing his Achilles tendon while walking around his own home. Wall is no doubt in a sensitive state of mind at the moment, and he was not amused:...
Papa John's Rejects Papa's Last-Ditch Effort To Seize Control Of More Pizza
Papa John’s continuing efforts to overhaul its company’s reputation after its disgraced founder and former face, John Schnatter, dragged it through a latrine have once again been complicated by the stubborn Papa himself. Over the weekend, Schnatter, who blamed NFL player protests for bad pizza sales...
John Wall Slipped On His Infected Heel That Had Bone Spurs And His Achilles Tendon Exploded And His Supermax Begins Next Year<em></em>
Here is perhaps the grimmest news item of the NBA season, relayed by the Washington Wizards under the devastatingly deadpan headline, “John Wall Injury Update.”...
Meet Johnny Walker, A Hilarious Weirdo Even By UFC Standards
This weekend’s UFC Fortaleza card was a tremendously entertaining event, with the five true main card fights all ending in finishes, old dogs Demian Maia and Jose Aldo picking up resounding wins in front of the home crowd, and Marlon Moraes launching himself towards title contention despite a case o...
Super Bowl Record Broken
If ever there were a Super Bowl to set a punting record, this was the one....
At Least Magic Johnson's Phone Calls About Anthony Davis Are Finally Being Answered
With the NBA trade deadline exactly one week away and Anthony Davis currently on ice, the Los Angeles Lakers’ only real window to trade for the Brow without Danny Ainge and Boston’s superior collection of assets getting involved is... right now, actually. Because Boston can beat pretty much any offe...
The Young Lakers Are Fucking This Up
LeBron James went down with a groin injury way back on Christmas Day. You cannot build, even in theory, a cast of teammates and a basketball ecosystem that wouldn’t suffer in the immediate aftermath of losing a player of LeBron’s prominence, but the young Lakers, at least in theory, should’ve been r...
Broncos Owner's Son Goes On Some Kind Of Rant About Mike Shanahan And Vic Fangio
The Denver Broncos’ season is over and their coaching staff has mostly been filled out, but the protracted fight over which of owner Pat Bowlen’s children will take over the team is still raging on. The lucky kid will either be Bethany Bowlen Wallace or Brittany Bowlen. It will most certainly not be...
The <i>New York Times</i> Can't Bring Itself To Hold The USOC Accountable
In my time as a journalist, stories about child abuse have always been the one genre that everyone, even internet commenters, agree are bad. But preventing child abuse—which costs money and takes long-term dedication of resources—who has time for that? ...
Report: Pairs Skater John Coughlin Was Accused Of Sexual Misconduct With Minors
Yesterday it was reported that former pairs skater John Coughlin died by suicide a day after his interim suspension from SafeSport was announced, but there was no public comment about the nature of the allegations against him by either SafeSport or U.S. Figure Skating. ...
Michigan Attorney General Wants To Question Disgraced Former MSU Interim President John Engler
Michigan attorney general Dana Nessel has requested an interview with John Engler, who resigned as Michigan State University interim president earlier this week to avoid being fired the next day. The AG’s office has accused Engler and MSU of “stonewalling” its investigation into the university’s han...