john Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gus Johnson Worked Obscenely Hard To Redeem Urban Meyer
Winning tends to heal all wounds in the world of sports. Regardless of the content of your character, people are more likely to remember the athletic highs of your sporting career because the image of lifting trophies tends to be easier to stomach socially than, say, keeping an accused domestic abus...
Here's A Blessed Video Of Johnny Cueto Riding A Prancing Pony
As rich person hobbies go, horses are one of the riskier and more complicated ones. Horses are expensive and cool, but they are also huge and don’t listen to reason and take enormous dumps. Compare that to a rich person pursuit like owning visual art or islands or a bunch of cars—all of which are al...
Manny Machado Had To Eat A Little Shit Over His "Johnny Hustle" Comment
Manny Machado fucked up when he admitted during the NLCS that he doesn’t hustle on every play. His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every majo...
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....
The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game between pretty much any two other NBA teams, even really shitty ones like the Phoenix Suns or New York Knicks, and spend some time toggling back and forth between the two every few m...
Goddamnit, Cy Young Voter Who Snubbed Jacob deGrom Is A W-L Guy
I didn’t know a lot about San Diego Union-Tribune writer John Maffei (but not, weirdly, baseball writer) before today. I know everything about now, even from very limited data....
Former ESPN President John Skipper Has Teamed Up With Disgraced Former Fox Sports Exec Jamie Horowitz
Here’s an interesting tidbit from Sports Business Journal’s Eric Fisher, who was at the MLB owners’ meeting in Atlanta last night....
Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host<em></em>
I learned something really interesting today, which is that Steve Somers is still alive. You people out there probably know New York’s flagship sports talk radio station WFAN mainly because of comic book hater and sugar-free mafia cosplayer Mike Francesa. Ah, but when I was growing up, there was an ...
Papa Is Tearing Papa John's Apart
In a CNBC story about how Papa John’s third-quarter earnings missed Wall Street’s expectations, it was revealed that the pizza chain franchise owners are divided over what to do about the disgraced Papa, while the company spent millions of dollars just trying to get Papa the fuck away from its pizza...
The Kings Fired John Stevens Because They're Old And Decrepit<em></em>
On Sunday, the Los Angeles Kings became the first NHL team to fire its coach this season, ditching John Stevens after barely more than a full season with him at the helm. The long-time assistant and short-time bench boss was let go just 10 games into the year, and he’ll be replaced on an interim bas...
Report: Magic Johnson Is Already Mad At Luke Walton For No Good Reason
On Sept. 20, Lakers czar Magic Johnson told ESPN that he assured coach Luke Walton that he’d be fine if the 2018-19 campaign were to get off to a slow start, since integrating a hodgepodge of new players into the team, including LeBron James, takes time....
Yes, WWE Wrote John Cena And Daniel Bryan Off Friday's Saudi Arabia Card
After a week of unconfirmed reports that both John Cena and Daniel Bryan were refusing to work this Friday’s WWE Crown Jewel event in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, we have our answer. It wasn’t a straight one from the promotion itself, unsurprisingly—WWE had repeatedly refused to address whether Cena and Br...
What The Fuck Is The Deal With This Weird Fake UFC "Trade"? <em></em>
Okay, so, according to a report from ESPN’s Ariel Helwani, the UFC and up-and-coming Singaporean MMA organization ONE Championship are “on the verge” of an unprecedented “trade” that would see UFC title-defense record holder Demetrious Johnson leave for ONE in exchange for undefeated ONE welterweigh...
The John Smoltz Urban Legend That Was Too Good To Check
John Smoltz is, at this point in his second career as a color commentator, not really that good at the job. He understands the game well, but he’s also drowsy and grouchy in all the ways that old ballplayers tend to be: checked out and skeptical and reflexively salty about today’s players, grumpily ...
San Francisco Giants Owner Charles B. Johnson Donated To Super PAC That Made That Super-Racist Radio Ad
A super PAC called Black Americans for the President’s Agenda paid for a staggeringly racist radio ad in support of Mr. Peanut-looking-ass Arkansas congressman French Hill that dropped yesterday. The ad was targeted towards black voters (the PAC ran a similar ad in Missouri) and it features two cari...
Wimbledon Weenies Finally Make A Little Progress With New Fifth-Set Tiebreak Rule
In order to solve the problem of damagingly long and pointless marathon men’s matches at Grand Slams—like this year’s men’s semifinal between Kevin Anderson and John Isner, which lasted a painful six and a half hours, including a three-hour fifth set which Anderson eventually took 26-24—Wimbledon br...
The Cardinals Shouldn't Be Allowed To Do This To David Johnson
The Arizona Cardinals, a team brewed in the depths of a toilet, possess a great gift. They have David Johnson, which means they have something that many NFL teams do not have: a running back who can stay on the field for all three downs and is just as dangerous as a receiver as he is a runner. Someo...
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in th...
John Gagliardi Was The Only Good Coach<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....