just Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
On My Honeymoon, I Kept Seeing A Flabby, Neck-Braced Kaka
You probably know Kaka as the superstar midfielder for Brazil and Real Madrid. Maybe you'll remember him as the cover boy of FIFA 11....
American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....
The Justice Department Is Very Interested In The BCS's Legality
As are we all (fans will take the empire crumbling any way they can get it, but the government probably has more say in that than sports writers.) Bill Hancock will meet with DOJ lawyers sometime this summer for what he's calling a "voluntary background briefing." Basically, they want to know how th...
Suspect Arrested In Bryan Stow Beating Case (Updated)
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that "a man suspected of being one of the two assailants in the brutal beating of Giants fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium was taken into custody early this morning, Los Angeles police sources say....
Bryan Stow Opens His Eyes, But Doctors Still Can't Predict His Chances Of Recovery
Bryan Stow, the 42-year-old paramedic and San Francisco Giants fan brutally beaten by a pair of moral-maggot Dodger fans who have yet to be caught but most certainly will sizzle in Hell if such a place exists, has shown signs of improvement in recent days. Opening his eyes. No seizure activity in h...
The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....
Michael Vick's Dog Receives Key To The City
Back in February, when folks in Dallas were outraged that the city's Mayor Pro Tem had awarded Michael Vick with a key to the city that, he explained, was really "for the children," the Dallas Observer ran the headline that included the phrase, "As It Turns Out, Anybody Can Get a Key to the City of ...
The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....
Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander Throws Second Career No-Hitter
In today's 9-0 win over the Toronto Blue Jays, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander was within one walk of a perfect game. His first career no-hitter came against the Milwaukee Brewers in 2007....
Government Notifies NCAA Of Antitrust Investigation, Promised Lawsuit
The Justice Department announced it is conducting an inquiry into the working of the Bowl Championship Series, questioning whether it violates Federal antitrust statutes by excluding teams from non-BCS conferences....
NFL Draft Pundit @I_Just_Came Bathes In, Retreats From The Spotlight
A few of you have sent us, with apparent rage and glee, this screenshot of last night's draft coverage on NFL Network. What foolishness, you screamed, that the NFL's own broadcast arm would allow a Twitterer with such a handle onto its coverage!...
How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...
MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...
Sean Avery Leaning On His Own Stick Until It Breaks Is Probably A Metaphor For Something
Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a better gift for [Valentine's] day than chocolates."...
Justin Bieber Training With Barcelona Is Much Worse Than Ochocinco In Kansas City
No, goddammit. No. This should not be allowed. And if it is, why isn't Gerard Pique flying in with both boots?...
Watch A Frat-Boy Flyers Fan Flip The Fuck Out On His Bros
Brah here goes to Penn State. When he went out to study for a "very important test," Brah's bros covered his bed with, per the summary of whomever posted this video, "hundreds of plastic solo cups." Dude....
Here's Video Of Men Dressed As Women Fighting Inside A San Diego Taco Shop
Your morning roundup for March 12, a day of nuclear-plant explosions, talk of Supermoons vs. the Pacific Plate, recovery efforts and aftershocks....
Wayne Gretzky Officially Has Better Hair Than Justin Bieber
The only part of this clip from today's episode of "The Talk" that's really worth watching is at the very beginning. The host asks for "somebody to help me out," as in, to make some noise, and a girl in the front row stands and holds her arm up in desperation; she's thinking she'll get to say some...
Justin Bieber Is More Valuable Than Scottie Pippen On The Basketball Court, Too
Your morning roundup for Feb. 19, the day Wisconsin edges closer to Cairo of the Heartland....
James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....