k Page 2292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Jordan Dunked On The Warriors' Trophy-Humping Owner
Warriors owner Joe Lacob is precisely the kind of Silicon Valley-bred dipshit who deserves to have his ego deflated whenever possible. Thankfully, NBA legend and pettiest human on earth Michael Jordan is here to do just that. ...
How Did The Yankees Get Chris Carter On The Cheap?
One of the odder offseason odysseys has come to a close, with slugging 1B/DH Chris Carter signing with the Yankees for one year and $3.5 million. That seems like chump change for a guy who hit 41 homers for the Brewers last year, co-leading the NL, but for a while there it felt like no one wanted to...
High School Sophomore LaMelo Ball Scored 92 Points In A Game
High school basketball player LaMelo Ball, last seen calling his shot from half court, scored 92 points tonight. Ball is the youngest brother of UCLA star Lonzo, and he’s currently a high school sophomore at Chino Hills HS (Ca). Chino Hills had a 60-game winning streak going until they lost on Sunda...
Let Him Woof
“Were you a woofer?” “I STILL AM!”...
Dirk Turned Back The Clock, But It Didn't Even Matter
The Mavericks have been quite feisty over the past few weeks, quickly climbing out of the Western Conference toilet and into the group of bad teams contending for the eight seed. Tonight, they played the Blazers, a fellow mediocre contender to get waxed by the Warriors in the playoffs, and lost in o...
Evander Kane Scores Game-Winner, Celebrates By Smashing His Head Into The Boards
Evander Kane scored the overtime winner for the Buffalo Sabres tonight, but he couldn’t avoid tripping a little bit in the process and eating the boards behind the goal....
Exactly How High Is Phil Jackson, This Time?
With the trade deadline looming, Phil Jackson did a tweet. If you can parse this koan within five minutes, you deserve a high-five and a fresh ounce of Bleacher’s Ding:...
Gronk Goes Shirtless At Parade, Chugs Beers, Laughs At The Number 69
Rob Gronkowski, who gained his powers after he was accidentally left behind during a government test of a nuclear sacktap, missed the Patriots’ Super Bowl run with a back injury, but he was in attendance for the championship parade in Boston today. The tight end played his greatest hits....
Bill Belichick Is Fired Up About Labor
The Patriots’ Super Bowl parade is today, and head coach Bill Belichick attempted to fire up the crowd with a spirited chant. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to receive a pep talk about the virtues of year-round work from a Google Home, you now have your answer:...
Steve Sarkisian Named As New Atlanta Falcons Offensive Coordinator
Steve Sarkisian will be the Atlanta Falcons offensive coordinator as the team attempts to move forward from its incredible Super Bowl loss and convince NFL fans that the team shouldn’t be excommunicated from the league....
Legislative Auditor Smacks Down Minnesota Sports Facilities Authority Over Luxury Suite Freebies<em></em>
The Minnesota Legislative Auditor has released an extensive special report on the use of luxury suites at the publicly funded Minnesota Vikings stadium by commissioners of the Minnesota Sports Facilities Authority, finding that commissioners “violated a core ethical principle” when they gave free ti...
Former Titans Tight End Frank Wycheck Is Concerned He Might Have CTE
Former Tennessee Titans tight end Frank Wycheck believes he has CTE, according to ESPN....
What Would It Look Like, Hypothetically, If A Public Figure Were Suffering The Symptoms Of Dementia?
Ronald Reagan was 69 years old at his inauguration as president in 1981, the oldest anyone had ever been on taking the office—a record that Donald Trump recently beat when he was inaugurated at age 70. Beset by concerns about his advanced age from the beginning, Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s...
LeBron Says Carmelo-For-Love Trade Rumor Is "Trash," Reporter "Is Trash Too"
What do we know? We know Phil Jackson wants to move Carmelo Anthony before this month’s trade deadline. We know player/coach/GM LeBron James wants the Cavs to make a move to get better ahead of another title push. We know the Knicks are big on Kevin Love, even though a Love-for-Melo swap doesn’t rea...
The Wizards Are For Real
Take heart, D.C. fans. Sometimes the best basketball player alive is just gonna throw in a one-legged 25-foot turnaround fallaway jumper high off the glass to tie the game with 0.3 seconds left in regulation in your building. It happens! Or anyway, it happened....
DeMarcus Cousins Lost His Shit Again
On Saturday night, we all got to see the best version of DeMarcus Cousins. This is the version that, while still unable to prevent himself from screaming at the refs and picking up a technical, can singlehandedly down the Warriors with a 32-12-9. Last night, we got the bad version of Cousins....
This Man Is 40 Years Old
Let us all praise Vince Carter on this wonderful evening....
One-Armed Eighth Grader Keeps Dunking<em></em>
Iowan eighth grader Trashaun Willis is half as old as me and has half as many arms and he can dunk. He picked off a pass last week and jammed it but, as he told MaxPreps, this wasn’t even his first dunk of the year....
Report: High School Basketball Coach Appears To Have Six Players Living In His Cramped Apartment
Six New Jersey high school basketball players, all from Puerto Rico or Nigeria, appear to have been living with their coach, have complained about going hungry, and are the subjects of a Division of Child Protection and Permanency investigation, according to an NJ.com investigative report....