k Page 2323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barcelona Go To The Mattresses Against La Liga Over Bottle-Throwing Incident
This weekend, as you may have heard, some shit-brained Valencia fan threw a bottle at some Barcelona players because he was mad they beat his team. As you also might’ve learned, this was apparently mostly the players’ fault, at least according to such important and powerful figures in Spanish soccer...
Desiigner Got Booed Off The Court By Sixers Fans
Desiigner, a popular rapper whose song “Panda” hit No. 1 on the charts despite having only one verse, performed at halftime of the Philadelphia 76ers’ season opener. He did what he does during all of his live performances—which is to say he made a lot of weird noises and spazzed out and never really...
The Writer Who Was Too Strong To Live
Jennifer Frey drank herself to death....
Report: Yoenis Cespedes To Opt Out Of His Mets Contract
Mets fans got a brief respite from seeing the squad hamstrung by its penny-pinching owners when the team signed Yoenis Cespedes to a three-year, $75 million deal last winter. There was a catch, though, in that the deal came with an opt-out clause after the first season. Now Jon Heyman is reporting t...
Bob Diaco Fails To Keep His Cool As He Defends UConn's Manufactured Football Rivalry
The Central Florida Knights beat the Connecticut Huskies Saturday in the college football rivalry game known as the Civil ConFLiCT, and earned the right to take home the trophy. UCF passed, instead leaving the prize on a bench. On Tuesday, UConn head coach Bob Diaco, who established the artificial e...
Kyle Schwarber Is Locked In
The World Series is all even and headed to Chicago after the Cubs took Game 2, 5-1. Cleveland rode Corey Kluber until he started showing the first signs of wavering in Game 1, and tonight, a magnificent Jake Arrieta took a no-hitter into the sixth inning, then promptly got pulled after giving up a r...
This Is The Worst Indians Fan
When cutting to commercial after the end of the top of the seventh inning, Fox cameras found this Indians fan rocking a headdress and combo blackface and redface and lingered on him for a full ten seconds. Perhaps focusing on this sad-looking man in racist cosplay is their version of a silent protes...
The Mavericks And Pacers Set Basketball Back A Few Decades On This Sequence
The NBA is back, which means it’s time for cool highlights, like dunks, blocks, and Charles Barkley’s bad takes. But none of those live up to the majesty and splendor of, uh, whatever this is....
Doug Gottlieb Is Too Soft To Stand By His Incorrect Takes
Here is a timeline of events:...
Joel Embiid Says He Learned To Shoot By Watching White People Online
Joel Embiid, who’ll make his NBA debut tonight, wants our attention, so badly. He seeks it in many ways: by guzzling Shirley Temples by the syrupy pitcher, by clowning on Andrew Wiggins, or by publicly asking out Rihanna. And we give it to him, maybe a little begrudgingly, because the content is goo...
This Simple Trick Ensures You Never Have To Worry About Toasty Crumbs
If you’re like most of us, you love eating toasted sandwiches for lunch. What you don’t like are all those toasty crumbs that end up scattered everywhere. The good news? You don’t need to live like this any longer. ...
Let's Talk About Cool Pitcher Names
I believe, in my heart of hearts, that Corey Kluber doesn’t receive quite the stardom or respect he deserves as unquestionably one of baseball’s very best pitchers because of his name. ...
College Football Coaches Are Getting Insane Buyout Clauses
Here’s a tip for college football fans whose favorite teams may or may not fall on hard times at some point in the near future: don’t bother ranting about how the coach needs to be fired, because there’s a good chance the school can’t afford to do so. ...
Indian-American Church Basketball Is A World All Its Own<em></em>
A priest takes the first shot. ...
Kyle Schwarber Paid Off Joe Maddon's Faith
Anything better than a four-strikeout night for Kyle Schwarber would have been a pleasant surprise for the big beefy boy whose first at-bats against major-league pitching since April 7 came against Corey Kluber and Andrew Miller in Game 1 of the World Series. ...
Steven Adams Was Too Busy Watching Dope Anime To See The Warriors Get Crushed
Given the ass-kicking that former Thunder star Kevin Durant suffered in his first game with the Warriors, it’s not unreasonable for reporters to be curious about what Durant’s former teammates thought of the game. Unfortunately for them, Steven Adams was too busy watching anime to cook up any juicy ...
The Sub2 Project Takes Credit For Kenenisa Bekele's Near-World Record Marathon<em></em>
Ethiopian Almaz Ayana set a new world record of 29 minutes 17.45 seconds in the women’s 10,000 meters at the Rio Olympics. About a month later, fellow Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele sped through the streets of Berlin, covering 26.2 miles in 2:03:03. That’s just six seconds shy of the world record, and a ...
I Will Read Every Story About How Terrific Marshawn Lynch Is
You’ve now got your reading assignment for the day: In the Seattle Times, reporter Jayson Jenks asked a handful of Seahawks if they have any particular memories of Marshawn Lynch being a cool guy. It seems they like talking about their former teammate as much as I like hearing about him....
So, The Warriors Got Their Asses Kicked
Let’s briefly acknowledge all the required caveats: that this was just the first game of a long season, that recent history has proven super teams always take time to gel, that the Golden State Warriors are still going to kick tons of ass this year....