k Page 2534 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bills Fan Spices Up Halftime With Mysterious White Powder
Okay, we’re calling it: Bills fans are officially the most bonkers fans in the NFL. As evidence, here’s a photo sent to us by a tipster at Sunday’s Giants-Bills game. Say, what’s that white powder in that guy’s dollar bill?...
Report: Andrew Luck Has A Partially Separated Shoulder
The Colts have been less than forthcoming about the shoulder injury that kept Andrew Luck out of their Week 4 game against the Jaguars, but a report from Indy Sports Central has finally added some specificity to the situation....
NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 41 Games
Sharks winger Raffi Torres has been suspended 41 games—a full half of the NHL season—for an illegal check to the head of the Ducks’ Jakob Silfverberg. This surprisingly tough suspension signifies two things: the Department of Player Safety is not fucking around this season, and the NHL is damned sic...
How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse (And Other Disasters)
Virus outbreaks are popping up across the country, authorities are scrambling, the news is bleak, and you have no idea what’s going on. There are panicked rumors that zombies are behind the chaos and multiplying at a rapid pace, taking over one neighborhood at a time. Sirens are blaring across the c...
Kobe Bryant Is Back, Motherfuckers!
Kobe Bryant played in a preseason game against the Jazz last night, and it was the closest he’s been to real NBA game action in nine months. In case you were wondering, he’s still Kobe:...
Pulled Pork Smackdown: Subway Vs. Wendy's
During the first several decades of our glorious and persistent fast-food era, America’s low-end, high-speed restaurateurs relied almost exclusively on the cow for protein. And why not? Beef tastes good, and cows are huge, plentiful, and otherwise useless (except the cheese cows, those are cool). Bu...
Stephen A. Smith Delivers Movie-Villain Monologue On <i>First Take</i>
Stephen A. Smith, ESPN’s professional unintelligible empanada truck, tried to drop exclusive information about Kevin Durant’s free agency last week. Durant scoffed, saying that he, his family, and his friends don’t talk to Smith. Smith had a rebuttal to that rebuttal, touting his supposed insider so...
CC Sabathia Is Checking Into Alcohol Rehab
Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia announced today that he is checking himself into an alcohol rehabilitation center and will miss the playoffs. ...
Clay Matthews Kept Picking On Colin Kaepernick
The photo above was taken during yesterday’s Packers-49ers game, right after Packers linebacker Clay Matthews sacked 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick in the third quarter. That’s Matthews stealing Kaepernick’s signature bicep-kiss celebration, which is a pretty good way to troll a quarterback afte...
DeMarco Murray Wants The Damn Ball
Whatever the Eagles’ plan, it’s not working. They’re 1-3 now, smack dab in last place in a weak NFC East after a backbreaking 23-20 loss at Washington. And all along, Chip Kelly has shunted the blame to his players: it’s about “executing,” he’s said since the beginning, not his system. RB DeMarco Mu...
Ichiro Is On The Mound For The Marlins
Ichiro Suzuki is an ageless wonder who quite possibly has limitless baseball powers he only chooses to dole out sparingly for the art of it. One of those powers is pitching, which he did against the Phillies today. His official line? One inning pitched, one earned run, and two hits. Here’s some evid...
Colts' Senior Citizens' Collective Beats Up On The Jaguars
The last time Matt Hasselbeck started an NFL game, he replaced a hurt Jake Locker in Tennessee in 2012. He wasn’t supposed to see time then, either, already in the “fossilized mentor” stage of his career, which he now occupies in Indianapolis with Andrew Luck. He’s well past his due date, I’m saying...
Ndamukong Suh Can’t Save The Dolphins, Who Suck
Every time the NFL rolls whatever waterlogged Floridian team has been exiled to London in any given year, I wonder how any foreign, casual observer would ever turn convert based on what happens in these games. They’re typically bad, and unwatchably so, but I don’t think anything has been less recogn...
Cops: Priest Pulled Gun On 8-Year-Old Because He Was A Cowboys Fan
Father Kevin Carter of St. Margaret of Cortona in Little Ferry, Nj. was arrested on Friday and charged with one count of fourth degree aggravated assault with a firearm and one count of third degree endangering the welfare of a child for an incident that occurred back on September 13. According to B...
NASCAR Driver Austin Theriault Airlifted After Head-On Wreck To Unprotected Wall
Tonight’s NASCAR truck series race at Las Vegas featured some early, scary fireworks after a head-on crash featuring driver Austin Theriault. The portion of the wall with which Theriault made contact was, according to on-air reports, not protected with a SAFER barrier. Theriault was airlifted to a l...
UCLA's Kicker Inadvertently Tackling A Guy With His Helmet, In Extreme Slow Motion
UCLA kicker Ka’imi Fairbairn got blown up while serving as the Bruins’ last chance to stop a Tim White kick return. But Arizona State didn’t take the kick to the house, because Fairbairn’s helmet brought White down. It’s Pac-12 after dark, at least on the east coast....
Walter Matthau Was Addicted To Losing
A Siegel Film, Don Siegel’s account of his life as a film director is an entertaining and instructive guide to making movies. I especially like the section about Siegel’s experience working with Walter Matthau on Charley Varrick. ...
Washington State Tries Fake Punt, Gives Up Touchdown Instead
Washington State’s still holding onto a narrow lead over 24th-ranked Cal today, but this thoroughly ruined fake punt put the Bears back in the game. We don’t blame the Cougars for trying the fake—4th and 1 at midfield is prime time to go for it, really—but punters are not running backs....
Foul-Mouthed Indiana Heckler Profane, Repetitive
Fans watching today’s Ohio State-Indiana game couldn’t help but notice a foul-mouthed heckler standing near one of ESPN’s crowd microphones. He carried on for several minutes in this profane fashion, though he really should work on finding some new material....
Please Listen To Mike Francesa Shopping For Corks
MLB’s selling authenticated champagne bottles and corks from various teams’ locker-room celebrations, as they have in years past. On today’s show, Mike Francesa wanted to look into the going rate for Mets corks. Listeners were blessed to listen to Francesa traversing the online store for these corks...