k Page 2591 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NBA Players Will Vote On Their Own Awards
According to USA Today, the NBPA will vote on a series of end-of-season awards, including MVP and Man of the Year, presumably out of an abiding hatred of basketball reporters. ...

Brett Lawrie Really Sucked Last Night
Athletics third baseman Brett Lawrie had an efficient game Tuesday night, in the worst way. He struck out four times—all swinging—on 12 pitches. ...

How To Make An Adequate Rye Old Fashioned
I go on runs with cocktails. I'm like a child who gets a new toy, obsesses over the toy for a full week, and then wants nothing to do with it. I went through a whole summer of drinking greyhounds and throwing up those greyhounds into the bushes. I drank a lot of rum & Diet Cokes when I was tryi...

Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...

A Gently Annotated List Of Washington Nationals Promos And Giveaways
Previously: The Baltimore Orioles....

Just Prince Fielder, Doing Some Squats With A Rougned On His Back
Prince Fielder’s new pregame workout routine sure looks like a lot of fun....

Report: Chris Copeland Stabbed; Two Hawks Arrested At NYC Nightclub
According to the New York Daily News, Indiana Pacers forward Chris Copeland was stabbed in the abdomen outside of 1 OAK in New York City early this morning. Copeland’s wife, Katrine Saltara, and a second woman were also slashed during the incident. Pero Antic and Thabo Sefalosha of the Atlanta Hawks...

OKC Players Confused About What "Controlling Our Own Destiny" Means
Last night, the Thunder suffered a blow in their struggle with the Pelicans for the final playoff spot in the West. While they were busy getting creamed by the Spurs, the Pelicans somewhat surprisingly knocked off the Warriors. The results leave the Thunder one game back in the loss column with four...

Byron Scott Thinks Some Of His Players Would Frag Him
It has been a remarkable year of quotes from Lakers coach Byron Scott, who has vacillated between pure delusion and brutal honesty with his words. Speaking with reporters after practice yesterday about how he is going to continue to make his very bad team practice hard, he opted for the latter. Via...


Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case
The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan ...

Soccer Coach Laments That Only A Few Of His Players Have Dicks And Balls
Carlisle United have been struggling. The club playing in England's 4th division have gone winless in their last five, including yesterday's 3-1 home loss to Accrington. Manager Keith Curle is fed up with his players, and decided to call them out in the media for their main deficiency: only a fe...

NCAA Officiating Head: Refs Never Saw Best Angle Of Controversial Play
To most of America, it sure as hell looked like the Wisconsin Badgers got hosed by a blown out-of-bounds call in the final minutes of last night’s championship game. It was hard to imagine how the referees could have looked at the same replay angle that we all saw at home during their review and st...

The Ideal Beer For Wealthy Working Stiffs
Most of my workdays are spent alone at home, poring over a hot computer as I wait for the muse to alight and the hangover to depart. From time to time, however, I am called upon to venture out into the general population to address the inmates of a local prison or communications class on the topic o...

Bo Ryan Is The Poor Sport He's Supposed To Be
So Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan said some sorta poor-sport-y stuff after his Badgers lost the NCAA championship game to Duke last night. In the video below, he can’t get through the pro forma talk of how much his graduating players meant to him without tossing in a passive-aggressive aside about how “we...

Did Ex-NFLer Will Allen's Alleged Ponzi Scheme Prey On Jack Johnson?
The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a complaint against Will Allen, a cornerback who played for the Giants, Dolphins, and Patriots—not to be confused with former Steelers safety Will Allen—accusing the NFLer of running a Ponzi scheme with a Florida woman. ...

The Rockies Are Going To Sock Some Goddamn Dingers This Year
Hey! The Colorado Rockies might be really fun this year. Take it from me, a Rockies fan who is super reasonable and not at all still riding the high of yesterday’s 10-0 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers....

No One Tells You About The Banana Peels: My Very Brief Career In Surgery
It started with a banana peel....

Ray Rice's Biggest Problem Isn't That He Knocked Out His Wife, But When
The 2015 Ray Rice Redemption Tour officially launched this week with similar, similarly glowing profiles of the ex-Baltimore Raven in Men’s Fitness and New York. Once best-known for being one of the top running backs in the National Football League, he’s now principally famous for having knocked his...

Barack Obama Hit Paul Pierce With Some Top-Notch Trash Talk
The Washington Wizards recently visited the White House to play basketball with some kids and Barack Obama, and damn, man, the President of the United States can really talk some shit....