k Page 2634 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jury Sentences Boston Marathon Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev To Death
A federal jury in Boston today decided that the crimes of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev were serious enough to merit the death penalty....
12 Ways To Rescue Bad Beer
Beer is better than every other food or beverage, up to and including chicken pot pie and bourbon. I didn’t come here to speak ill of Earth’s finest ingestible. Beer’s the best, and everyone should drink all of it....
Somebody Find Kenny A Milk Crate To Stand On
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One Minute Of Hockey Kids Falling Down All Over The Place
Do you want to watch little hockey players stumbling everywhere and being adorably bad? Also, it’s set to “Yakety Sax,” as it should be. (As a warning, the video automatically plays. Sorry.)...
Perjury Charges Against Shayanna Jenkins Officially Dropped
Aaron Hernandez’s fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins, was back in court today so that perjury charges that had previously been brought against her by prosecutors could be dismissed. Jenkins was originally charged with perjury following her grand jury testimony, but was later promised immunity in exchange for...
Listen To Tons Of B.B. King Today
Blues legend B.B. King died late last night, at 89, in his Las Vegas home, relatively peacefully. He’d been one of those guys who logged 100 shows a year even pushing 90, but he’d been laid up after canceling a 2014 jaunt due to dehydration, exhaustion, and other such complications of diabetes. You ...
Clippers Blow Out Rockets, Advance To–Wait, What? The <i>Rockets</i> Won???
Late in the third quarter of last night’s game at Staples Center, the Rockets looked about as dead as any team has been in these playoffs. They’d been outscored 23-to-6 by the Clippers in the quarter and fallen behind by 19; they weren’t defending or working for good looks on offense and looked pret...
Watch River Plate's Evacuation From A Hostile Boca Juniors Stadium
River Plate players were stranded nearly two hours on the pitch at La Bombonera in Buenos Aires after yesterday’s Superclásico match in the Copa Libertadores was suspended due to players being attacked by Boca Juniors fans. Here’s how police finally got them off the pitch....
San Isidro Bullfighter In "Grave Condition" After Being Gored Again
Torero Jiménez Fortes is in serious condition after being gored in the jugular at the Feria de San Isidro bullfighting festival. It’s the second year in a row he’s been gored, and—warning!—it is pretty gruesome....
Superclásico Suspended After Fans Pepper-Spray River Plate Players
Tonight’s second leg of the Superclásico Copa Libertadores matchup between Argentine powerhouses Boca Juniors and River Plate was suspended as the visitors were attacked by pepper spray-wielding Boca supporters....
Ottawa Senators Make Public Plea Seeking Liver Donor For Ailing Owner
A statement issued today on the Ottawa Senators’ official web page announced that team owner Eugene Melnyk is in urgent need of a live liver donor, with links for fans to investigate if they might be a match. Melnyk had been conspicuously absent during the team’s run to the Stanley Cup playoffs, and...
It's Time To Get Over Being Over IPAs
Despite all the breath chumps like me expend talking about sours and pilsners and whatever else we’ve decided is cool on any given day, India pale ales are still the best-selling category of craft beer. Sometimes it’s hard to think of anything new to say about them, so we scurry around looking for s...
Some <i>Simpsons</i> Characters Voiced By Harry Shearer, Ranked
The Simpsons has been a lousy, vaguely depressing hood ornament for FOX for far longer, by now, than it ever was a good TV show, but when it was a good TV show, it was among the greatest television comedies ever made. Harry Shearer, the brilliant comedic and voice actor who announced his departure f...
CFL Team Investigating Extremely Woke, Holocaust-Questioning Player
The Montreal Alouettes are reportedly looking into the tweets of defensive lineman Khalif Mitchell, who has gone on a conspiracy-video kick over the past week....
Camden Yards Workers Screwed Over Yet Again
The other day, the Baltimore Orioles got lots of positive press by announcing that stadium staffers would be compensated for wages lost while a state of emergency was declared in the city. Two home games were canceled, another was played at an empty Camden Yards, and three others were moved to Tampa...
Pats' Ballghazi Defense: "The Deflator" Was Just Trying To Lose Weight
The New England Patriots have officially fired back at Ted Wells’s Ballghazi report, in the form of an impenetrable Wordpress page that might as well be titled Loose Balls: The Truth About PSI. The site contains an attempt by one of the Patriots’ lawyers to fisk Wells’s report, and although it’s an ...
The Hawks Ruined Another Great Moment In Paul Pierce Shit-Talking
Paul Pierce’s late three in Game 5, which put his Wizards up 81-80 over the Hawks with less than 10 seconds to play, was wasted by Nene’s inability to box out and prevent Al Horford’s game-winning layup. That’s a shame, because if the Wizards had managed to win, Pierce would have reached a new high ...
The Warriors Are Cruel
I won’t presume to know how Grizzlies fans were feeling during the first few minutes of last night’s Game 5 loss to the Warriors. It was certainly too early for them to be feeling confident, but the Grizzlies being up by double digits early, with Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph doing their thing and th...
Jalen Rose Calls Chris Webber "Delusional"
Four years ago ESPN released The Fab Five, a 30 for 30 documentary about the 1991 Michigan basketball recruiting class of Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King, and Ray Jackson. The group reached the NCAA championship game in both their freshman and sophomore seasons but never won it al...