k Page 2650 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's <i>Hannity</i> Just Couldn't Stop Talking About Ballsacks
It's no surprise Ballghazi is taking over the cable news airwaves, but the national nets have sadly been too humble or afraid to utter the necessary term "ballsack." American patriot Sean Hannity's program is the home of real talk, though, and last night they just couldn't stop talking about ballsac...
UNM Basketball Player Credits Twitter Dipshit For His Big Game
New Mexico guard Hugh Greenwood had 22 points and eight rebounds in Wednesday night's 71-69 win over UNLV. After the game, the senior said a tweet about his mother—who has secondary breast cancer—was part of the drive behind his performance....
An Entire Seahawks Scandal Arose And Died In 20 Minutes
Heady times, that fateful January morning when eagle-eyed football fans discovered the Seattle Seahawks engaged in an act so nefarious, so unsporting, it threatened to tear apart the very fabric of the NFL—nay, of America. The wounds have healed now, the fractures set, but the emotional scars linger...
Basketball Is Dead. The Knicks And Sixers Murdered It.
All the precious, fragile, bitterly-won gains of humankind's wretched, fitful, brave, millennia-long upward struggle went up in white-hot magnesium flames last night in Philadelphia and burned away to powder. All for nothing. All fantasies, every damn one. The Knicks and Sixers have shown us ours...
The Greatest Mötley Crüe Songs Of All Time (And The Worst)
Wanna be a roadie? Guess what? BEING A ROADIE SUCKS. I spent a couple days on tour with Mötley Crüe for this big GQ article that dropped today, and I have a newfound appreciation for the rigors of going on tour and setting up an entire goddamn stage in a new city in a differently shaped arena night ...
The NFL Should Just Leave Marshawn Lynch The Hell Alone
According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, the NFL is preparing to become much more aggressive in its battle against Marshawn Lynch and his continued refusal to give a fuck....
Bill Belichick Was Trying Very Hard Not To Make Accidental Balls Jokes
At his press conference denying knowledge of deflated footballs, Patriots coach Bill Belichick discovered what we've know for days: it's very hard to talk or write about this story without making reference to "balls," and then giggling because it's very, very funny....
Baylor Played An NAIA Team For The Sake Of A Dopey Movie
There's a noticeable oddity among today's college basketball box scores: The Baylor Bears, a nationally ranked Division I team, beat the hell out of the Huston-Tillotson Rams, an NAIA team that has a few Division I schools on its schedule, but has no real business playing against the big boys. The m...
"Way To Go, Paul": Hulk-Like Hockey Parent Breaks Glass With Slap
Look, I'm going to play this one straight: I know absolutely nothing about this video. It was tweeted at us from an unknown Twitter account, has almost no description, and was posted by a seemingly normal YouTube account that has been around for five years. I cannot find any other trace of it on...
Long-Limbed Kevin Durant Obliterates Marcin Gortat With Dunk
It is a good thing that Marcin Gortat is a goofy-ass guy with funny hair, who chills watching porn on Saturday night, and has a humvee and pig to play with, because this is the kind of dunk that could ruin a man without a balanced perspective on life. ...
Seagull Thrives After Getting Knocked Out During Cricket Match
The Perth Scorchers took on the Melbourne Stars in something called the Big Bash League yesterday, but more interestingly, a Scorchers batter nailed a seagull with a hit. It wasn't quite Randy Johnson demolishing a dove with a fastball—the damn thing didn't explode—but I'm sure it didn't feel go...
Robert Allenby's Kidnapping Story Challenged By Another Witness
Robert Allenby's tale of his alleged kidnapping sounded implausible from the beginning, and now another witness has gone on the record disputing it. You can read our detailed story on Allenby's alleged Friday night "kidnapping" and the investigation that followed, but basically: PGA golfer Robert ...
How To Survive At The Poker Table
Poker used to be cool. From Wild Bill Hickok getting shot up over aces and eights to Paul Newman and Robert Shaw eyefucking each other in The Sting, it has always held a place in American culture as the game you'd find grown-ass men playing in the smoke-filled back rooms of grown-ass places. Blame...
Oregon Fan Gets Ohio State Tattoo To Settle Bet; Looks Sad About It
I want to call this dude a poor, unlucky bastard, but he didn't have to go and make that bet. Maintained his honor, though:...
This Awful Beer Is Great, Because Context Matters
Yesterday I fucked off work around two in the afternoon, which is to say about an hour after I finally fucked back onto work for the first time since last Thursday. I'd sincerely intended to bravely struggle through a full afternoon of hiding behind my keyboard, but then I got a text from one of m...
The Time A Jets Kicker Smacked A Ball Boy For Not Rubbing Up The Balls
Since all anyone can talk about today is the various ways in which people manipulate footballs and what dastardly cheaters the New England Patriots are, it seems like as good a time as any to remember the time a mouthy Patriots ball boy got the shit smacked out of him by an opposing kicker for not p...
Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!
Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the sa...
Report: NFL Was Aware Of Patriots Deflation Allegations Before Sunday
This, at least, answers one of the peripheral questions surrounding claims that the Patriots illegally deflated Tom Brady's footballs: just how and when the Colts and the NFL became aware of the funny business....
How To Conquer Sticky Spills With Patience (Or None At All)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....