k Page 2703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dumb People Are Mad At Cardale Jones, For Some Reason
Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones had a lo-fi press conference in a high school gymnasium today to announce that he is returning to school. To normal people, this was fine. To certain members of the media, this was an outrage....
The Packers Got Everyone In Green Bay Playing Settlers Of Catan
The Wall Street Journal's Kevin Clark, who has been pumping out fun, off-color NFL stories all year, has another good one today. It's all about how a handful of Green Bay Packers got hooked on Settlers of Catan, the board game that all of your buddies who are bearded craft-beer enthusiasts are addic...
Cardale Jones Isn't Done Playing School Just Yet
Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones, who won us over long before he ascended from a third-stringer to a national champion, announced today that he will return to the Buckeyes next season....
How To Ride A Bike In The City
I'm totally going to jinx myself by typing this, but here goes: After 10 years of religious urban bike-riding, nothing terrible has happened to me. I've never been doored or side-swiped, my bike has never been stolen outright (though parts of it have), and I've never caught a flat while flying down ...
This Is No Way To Act In A Buffalo Wild Wings, Ohio State Fan
From The Big Lead comes this video of a very loud and presumably very drunk Ohio State fan basking in the glory of his team's national championship victory, all in the service of education his fellow Buffalo Wild Wings patrons....
Are The Mets Charging Players To Attend Offseason Workouts?
The Mets are currently holding offseason workouts in Port St. Lucie, Fla., and based on some chatter coming from reporters who are at the camp and local beat writers, the Mets are running some bullshit....
A Belgian Beer From Quebec, Perfect For The End Of The World
This marks the first year in at least the past 10 that I have not resolved to learn even the basics of a foreign language. My monolinguism is deplorable, considering that I aim to communicate for a living and have had plenty of opportunity to learn other tongues over the years. But I've never made...
El Crap: Scariest Pictures Ever
Never have I been so happy that my job entails sitting on my rump and sending pitches. Above, that's Kevin Jorgeson at his office, sending pitches. See the difference? ...
Quebec Hockey Teams Can't Wait Until Game, Brawl During Warmups
The Quebec-based Ligue Nord-Américaine de Hockey blatantly uses fighting as its main draw, so the only surprising part of Sunday's brawl between the Laval Braves and the Saint-Georges Cool FM 103.5 is that the two teams didn't wait until the game started....
<i>Charlie Hebdo </i>Is France's Answer To <i>South Park</i>, Or Vice Versa
Most Americans woke up last Wednesday, scrolled through social media, learned of the Paris terrorist attack that left 12 dead, and, within minutes, had formed an opinion about a French satirical newspaper they'd never heard of. A consensus emerged: Charlie Hebdo (typical print run: 60,000) was an ...
Spanish Sportswriter Communes With Dead Player During Batshit Seance
Okay, this is really, really weird....
Sheriff's Office Puts "In Dog We Trust" On Rugs, Becomes Cool
The Pinellas County sheriff's office briefly enjoyed a run as the chillest sheriff's office in the country after purchasing some emblazoned rugs that came with a delightful typo....
The Pitch Clock Is Getting Closer
An experiment to speed up the pace of games was apparently successful enough for baseball officials to bring it to the next level: some minor league stadiums at the Double-A and Triple-A levels will be outfitted with 20-second pitch clocks by the beginning of the season....
Harrison Barnes Forces Revision To The Definition Of A Shabazz Assist
Last week I introduced the Shabazz Assist, a revolutionary new statistic that properly credits a player for missing dunks that "ricochet perfectly to an open teammate in the corner." But like any forefront in advanced analytics, the Shabazz Assist remains a work in progress, and in hindsight its p...
P.J. Hairston Flies And Flops Into Coach Pop
This might be the least believable flop I've ever seen in the NBA....
Mark Jackson Returned To Oracle Arena And Threw Shade: An Explainer
The Golden State Warriors took on the discombobulated, LeBron James-less Cleveland Cavaliers last Friday and beat them soundly. Even more interesting than the game on the floor was what was happening on press row, where ESPN's Mark Jackson was working his first Warriors game since being fired as t...
HS Soccer Player Scores Crazy Front-Flipping Throw-In From 30 Yards Out
Leave it to an American to score a wacky goal by using his hands....
Tall Grandpa Mark Hendrickson Is Trying A Comeback
Is there anything better than a good comeback attempt, especially one where everybody involved recognizes the minuscule chance of it being successful, yet wants to give it a shot anyway because what the hell, why not? Hope springs eternal in Orioles minicamp, where 40-year-old grandpa and former NBA...
How To Clean A Frat House, And Keep It That Way
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
How Jack Johnson's Parents Screwed Him And Left Him Millions In Debt
Jack Johnson's financial troubles came to light in November, when the Columbus Dispatch revealed that the Blue Jackets defenseman had filed for bankruptcy after his parents—who had been in control of his money since 2008—created eight figures' worth of debt for him. But it wasn't just poor managem...