k Page 2828 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Kluwe Vs. The Vikings Just Got Really Ugly
Shit went down tonight in the matter of Chris Kluwe vs. the Vikings. Earlier this evening, word came down that Minnesota special teams coach Mike "nuke all the gays" Priefer would be suspended three games for making homophobic remarks. This more or less closed the book on the team's investigatio...
T.J. Oshie Discovers That Golf Is Cruel And Terrible
T.J. Oshie may be an Olympic hero, but he is just like the rest of us when it comes to getting owned by golf. ...
Astros Fail To Sign First Overall Pick Brady Aiken By Deadline
The Houston Astros had until 5 p.m. EDT today to reach a deal with lefty pitcher Brady Aiken, the first overall pick in this year's MLB Draft. The Astros did not reach a deal....
Fast-Food Fight: Subway's Pulled Pork Vs. Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Burger
There are three main founts of greasy innovation whence spring the majority of new fast-food items. The bulk originate in the wide and shallow Same Shit, Different Condiments pool; they are joined by more ambitious offerings from the genres of Cynical Stunt Food and Honest-to-Ronald Attempts to Intr...
This Year, Everyone At The Tour De France Is Crashing Out
The opening stage of this year's Tour de France was a blatant attempt to get Mark Cavendish his first yellow jersey. Organizers kicked off the race with a pancake-flat run into Harrogate, UK, where Cavendish's mother is from. It's probably the only time the peloton's most accomplished sprinter will ...
No One Likes Jim Boeheim As Much As This Guy With A Jim Boeheim Tattoo
Oh, you're a Syracuse men's basketball fan? You like Jim Boeheim? WRONG. What the hell do you know about liking Jim Boeheim? Do you have a 10-inch tattoo of Jim Boeheim's face on your leg? No? Some Jim Boeheim fan you are....
"Weird Al" Yankovic's "Sports Song" Is All You Need To Know About Sports
"Weird Al" Yankovic's fifth music video—out of the eight he's releasing for his new album Mandatory Fun—is for "Sports Song," a pastiche of teams' fight songs. It skips the pretense and gets honest: The team we root for is good, and yours sucks....
Wife Of Ravens Player Ponders Drake, Michael Sam, And Hitler
Lauren Cox is married to Ravens long snapper Morgan Cox, and she maintains a personal blog where she shares her thoughts on all manner of topics. This isn't something that is really worth pointing out under normal circumstances, but she just wrote something about Drake's "Side Pieces" ESPYs perfor...
Tyler Seguin Let Someone Drive A Golf Ball Off His Crotch
Dallas Stars center Tyler Seguin hosted a charity golf tournament, and at one point, he put a golf ball on a tee on his crotch and let a guy take a swing at it. What more is there to say? Wait, Tyler, did it tickle?...
"Weird Al" Yankovic's <em>Mandatory Fun</em> Is Not The End (We Hope)
Does anyone actually hate "Weird Al" Yankovic? You'll usually find two reactions to him: adoration or indifference, with the indifference mostly confined to wayward millennials. Considering that he's been churning out parodies (and originals!) for nearly 35 years, that in itself is impressive. He'...
Derek Holland And The Rangers Play A Game Called "Fart Bottle Roulette"
On Wednesday, Derek Holland went on the radio and told listeners of KRLD-FM about a game called Fart Bottle Roulette. I'm going to quote Derek Holland's explanation of what Fart Bottle Roulette is in just a minute, but you already know what Fart Bottle Roulette entails. You do. ...
He Once Had A Baseball Empire
Erik Malinowski delivers this fascinating story of how Tom Emanski dominated youth baseball with his instructional videos (like the one promoted by Fred McGriff) and multiple championships — until he disappeared. ...
Nick Saban's Press Conference Enlivened By Off-Camera Snoring
Even on a day completely bereft of sports, I can't really think of anything that would have me less enthused than SEC Media Days. So I really feel this dude who can be heard snoring (Or just breathing really heavily? I sincerely hope not.) while Nick Saban drones on about whatever the fuck....
Tracy McGrady's Baseball Career Ends After About Two Months
Roughly two months after Tracy McGrady's debut as a baseball player, the former NBAer has retired. Looking back at his career, one thing's certain: Tracy McGrady was definitely a person who played minor league baseball for two months. ...
UEFA Emergency Panel: Russian And Ukrainian Teams Can't Play Each Other
Part of the job of being a governing body for international competition is dealing with the occasional geopolitical nightmare, and deciding how to keep teams from two countries essentially at war from turning a game into a battle. UEFA is nipping that shit in the bud right now, before tomorrow's Cha...
Prankster Poses As Ukraine Eyewitness, Calls MSNBC Host "Dumbass"
MSNBC's Krystal Ball couldn't foresee being called a "dumbass" by a prankster posing as an eyewitness to today's MH17 flight disaster, even after the guest—claiming to be stationed at the U.S. embassy in Kiev—claimed the plane was shot down by "a blast of wind from Howard Stern's ass."...
Chick-Fil-A's Grilled Chicken: The Emilio Estevez Of Chicken Sandwiches
Eating at Chick-fil-A is always a personal conflict. How do you decide between its super-friendly employees and quality food on the one hand, and the antiquated social views at the top of the company on the other? For the sake of loyal Foodspinners, I put that conflict aside to to help mediate an...
Donald Cerrone And John Lineker Are What's Right With Fighting
I love body shots. There is a horrible, wonderful noise generated when a professional athlete hits another professional athlete in the torso, a thudding slap of skeleton and meat. It sounds like a Foley artist's garish exaggeration of what you think a body shot should sound like. I love this sound...