k Page 2951 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Bonner With The Spot-On Andy Kaufman Impersonation
Matt Bonner recently did a little performance at the San Antonio Spurs' annual charity auction. A younger, less cultured player may have used such an opportunity to do the Gangnam Style dance or lip-sync that dumb "What Does the Fox Say?" song, but not Matt Bonner. Matt Bonner has deep cuts, son....
Vikings Hire Pottymouth
The Vikings have hired Bengals defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer to be their next coach, according to every football reporter you follow on Twitter. It's his first head coaching gig after being passed over numerous times in a 20-year NFL career. ...
Meanwhile, in Chicago, Joel Reese defends Clark the Pantsless Cub. Neil Steinberg does not. Some highlights: "Horror ... pantsless obscenity ... Smurf-like blandness ... monstrosity ... homogenized ... this excrescence ... designed to pacify the sick children it visits in hospitals (thus freeing act...
What Every NFL Logo Would Look Like If It Were A Hipster
The man who has brought us so much joy by doing ridiculous, hilarious things to the logos of NFL teams has struck again. Today, artist David Rappoccio unveiled his latest collection: each NFL logo re-imagined as a hipster. Smug hipster jaguar is particularly inspired, but there are many more good on...
Sometimes, LeBron Wishes He Could Take All The Shots
The two best players in the NBA are frustratingly polished when it comes to the media, so there's rarely any hint of a real rivalry between them. This will have to do: LeBron James says he's "jealous" that Kevin Durant gets to shoot so much....
Arkansas Upsets Kentucky With Overtime Tip-Slam Buzzer Beater
After allowing a three-pointer to tie the game in regulation and another to tie it late in overtime, Arkansas bounced back when Michael Qualls tip-slammed the winning basket with 0.2 seconds remaining....
Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls
Earlier this week we introduced you to terrifying Cubs mascot Clark The Cub and invited you to do horrible things to him. We started you off with Jim Cooke's full-frontal rendition, which is exactly what Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic aired to viewers across the Washington, D.C. area tonight....
Keyshawn Johnson Has, Uh, Changed
So Justin Bieber's house got raided today, no doubt bringing joy to neighbor Keyshawn Johnson who has beef with the obscure underground death metal singer. The interview you see here, though.. that's not Keyshawn Johnson....
Amar'e Stoudemire Passes Ball To Woman's Drink
Beno Udrih is the closest teammate when Amar'e Stoudemire passes out to the corner, and that's using "closest" generously. The play worked if it was supposed to knock over a woman's drink. No timeout needed!...
Even President Obama Knows That Everyone Hates Mario Chalmers
You laugh, but there's a strong possibility that Mario really was about to get screamed at for standing in the wrong place or something....
The Path To Remaining Unbeaten In The NCAA This Year
Like most basketball fans, I enjoy close games. A contest featuring teams separated by one or two possessions late makes for enthralling theater. At the end of a tight game, every good decision and crucial mistake is amplified. Even the crowd feels like it wields more influence with time winding dow...
Potential Game-Winning Shot Sits On The Rim...<em>Forever</em>
This is Grandview (Wash.) trying to break a tie in the closing seconds of Saturday's game. Bryce Carpenter goes for the layup in transition, and hits only stasis....
Cubs Are Disappointed You Did Such Filthy Things To Their New Mascot
It's been a rough two days for Clark the Cub, the Chicago Cubs' dumb new mascot. We put a gross dick on him, and a lot of other people did some not-so-nice things to him as well. The Cubs have noticed all of this, and they are tired of all the tomfoolery....
The Night Sinatra And DiMaggio Heard Marilyn Was Humping Some Guy
Sixty years ago today, Joe DiMaggio married his girlfriend of two years, Marilyn Monroe. Here, the happy couple are seen leaving San Francisco's City Hall, site of their nuptials. It was a short-lived union: The two divorced in October of the same year....
Officials Sent The Wrong Sedin Twin To The Penalty Box
It's hard to blame the officials for occasionally losing track of things during last night's punchy 1-0 Kings win over Vancouver, a game that saw 109 total penalty minutes. It's extra-hard to blame them for penalizing Henrik Sedin for an infraction committed by Daniel Sedin—they look alike, and all....
Dear Humans: Do Not Eat Pizza With Utensils
Hey, homo sapiens! Let us embark upon an expedition of the mind. A mindspedition! ...
What It's Like To Cover Screwed-Up, Despotic NFL Franchises
We're joined by the Washington Post's Redskins reporter Kent Babb. He also authored "Arrowhead Anxiety," which blew the lid off the Chiefs' front-office dysfunction, so he's uniquely equipped to discuss directionless football teams. Ask him anything you want in the comments below, and he'll try to a...
<i>Price Is Right</i> Contestant Busts Ankle, Goes To Hospital After Showdown
This lady actually won a spot in the Showcase Showdown despite severely twisting her ankle with the force of her own spin. She's clearly in pain, and needed to get to a hospital, yet decided to stick it out until after the Showcase Showdown (which she lost). ...
LeBroning Is The New Thing All The Kids Are Doing
LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world, and he's also been known to flop from time to time. It's because of that second part that he's given birth to the latest sports-themed meme to sprout up on the internet: LeBroning. What is LeBroning? Take it away, kids!...
Carmelo Anthony Could Really Use A Day Off
We get it, Carmelo. None of us likes having to think about going to work in the morning, and that 29-16 you slapped on the Suns must have required a lot of energy. ...