k Page 3399 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Gay Marriage Headline Could Have Used Another Proofreader
From a post on the Seattle Times online about the political stance of Rep. Norm Dicks. We have no words....
Miami Heat Apologize For "Extinguishing" Amar'e Stoudamire
This is what happens when an otherwise personality-less P.A. announcer tries to show a bit of personality. The Miami Heat have now formally apologized for "extinguishing" Amar'e Stoudamire after his sixth foul last night....
Can You Beat This Entry In Our Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest?
One enterprising reader—VidaBlueManGroup—decided to kick off a Drunk Patrick Kane photoshop contest. I think he won it already, by dropping Kaner's Charlie Brown walk into Abbey Road—but we're hungry for a runner-up. We prefer doctored photos that use sulking Kaner, as opposed to party Kaner, but we...
MLB Plans To Ban That Stupid Fake-To-Third, Throw-To-First Pickoff Move
Every baseball game seems to feature at least one of those useless, dilatory fake-to-third, throw-to-first pickoff moves. They never work, they slow down the game, they make you wait even longer for your team's terrible righty middle reliever to give up the lead. Who likes this thing enough to keep ...
Better Know An Umpire: Angel Campos
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
Lifelong Yankees Fan Tim Tebow Will Rename His Dog "Bronx"
Tim Tebow's dog used to be named Bronco. In fact, that's been his name for the past year and a half, since Tebow got him. But now Tebow plays for the New York Jets, so his name is going to be changed to "Bronx," for reasons that aren't yet entirely clear. Is it football season yet?...
Orioles Employ Extra Security In Futile Attempt To End Streaking Epidemic
The second-place Orioles have had just enough of your streaking ways, citizens of Baltimore. You had your fun on April 6, what with your Batman-inspired impostor, a.k.a. 26-year-old truck driver Mark Harvey, who was later permanently banned for life from the stadium....
Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony
On Monday we showed you photos of a soused Patrick Kane in Madison, Wis., and then we asked you if you knew more about what happened while Kane was there. We had heard some bad stories—that Kane supposedly choked a woman, that Kane supposedly said anti-Semitic things—and we wanted to know if other p...
Sun Shines On The Dog's Ass That Is Stephen A. Smith, As Technical Glitch Renders Him Unable To Hear Skip Bayless
Readers send us tips about ESPN2 offal vomitorium First Take regularly, but we're loath to provide the program any more attention than it already has (and, valuing our sanity, avoid watching it ourselves). So we thank Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch for the head's up on this brief technical g...
After Amar'e Stoudemire Fouled Out, He Was Gonna Help Shane Battier Up, But ... Nah
Last night, we showed you how the Heat's PA guy made a corny reference to Stoudemire being "extinguished from the game" when he fouled out. But this video shows you what happens at the end of that clip, when Amar'e decides to lend a helping hand before he doesn't....
Jon Hamm To Star In That Disney Movie About Those Pitchers From India The Pirates Signed
According to Deadline Hollywood, the Mad Men star and former Deadspin commenter will play a leading role in the upcoming Disney treatment of Million Dollar Arm. Hamm will play J.B. Bernstein, the real-life sports agent who "discovered" Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel and got them deals with the Pittsbu...
The Heat PA Guy Announced Amar'e Stoudemire Fouling Out As "He Has Been Extinguished From The Game"
Ha! Ha! Get it? Because he severely injured his hand punching a fire extinguisher! You're winning friends the right way, Miami Heat. (We isolated the arena audio track so you can hear it more easily.) [TNT]...
CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails
CBC host Ron MacLean opened tonight's coverage of the Stanley Cup playoff Game Six bout between the Capitals and Rangers with an extended and tortuous metaphor claiming the players were "like firefighters, like police officers," and throwing in 9/11 references....
Before Steve Kerr Sends 19-Year-Old Players Back To College, He Should Try Some Academic Research Himself
Former NBA star Steve Kerr penned a lengthy, multi-sectioned argument in Grantland this week in which he not only defends the NBA's current ban on players under age 19 but pushes for the minimum age to be raised to 20. Forcing young people to spend more time as scholar-athletes, according to Kerr, ...
Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Anybody But Craig James For Senator"
Last night, we showed you the personalized message Washington State football coach Mike Leach left when autographing a copy of his book for a fan, which referenced the possibility that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU....
The Harvard Baseball Lip-Synch Video That's Sweeping The Nation
Suffice it to say, I had no clue who Carly Rae Jepsen was when this video started circulating a couple of days ago. Evidently, the song is called "Call Me Maybe," which I also had to look up because I hadn't ever heard it before. Our old pal Emma Carmichael called it "the new perfect pop song" bac...
Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)
It's the probing question that keeps the world's brightest minds up at night: Did unpopular Texas Republican Craig James actually kill five hookers while at Southern Methodist? Tim Rogers, an editor at D Magazine in Dallas, finally got James campaign spokeswoman Meredith Turney on the phone for a fr...
Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...
Everybody Loved Grantland
Excerpted from Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter....
Craig James's Senate Campaign Nears Its Sad, Inevitable Conclusion
There's a new poll out in the race to win the Republican nomination for Texas's open Senate seat, and it's not good news for skilled communicator Craig James, whose campaign has now hit some sort of sad nadir that even we didn't think was possible....