k Page 3411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Entire Kingdome Visitors' Dugout Is Available On eBay
If you have $7,500 burning a hole in your pocket, 80 uninterrupted feet of unused wall space, and a wife you're not that attached to, this might be the perfect eBay auction for you. The original Kingdome visitors' dugout is up for sale, for anyone who wants to sit in the assprints of all the great M...

This Drunk Lady Keeled Over In The Aisle During A Mavs Game
Friday night. Dallas. Spotlights beam down on a meaningless game, the playoff-bound (but underwhelming) Mavs against the tanking Golden State Warriors. The game is a spectacle. A party, really. For this lady. Reader and amateur videographer Baron tells us that the lass dances ("inappropriately str...

Panthers Somehow Blame Devils Fans For Ruining Rat-Throwing Tradition
Before their 1995 home opener, a rat entered the Panthers locker room—and was promptly killed with a slapshot by Scott Mellanby. The legend took hold, and as Florida made a finals run, the "rat trick" was born. After Panthers goals and wins, fans would throw hundreds of rubber rats onto the ice....

John Tortorella Uttered Just Six Words During His Entire Media Session Yesterday
"No." "I don't know." "Both." "Good?" The complete exchange of questions and, um, answers lasted for 26 seconds. [WSJ]...

Why Did We Ever Think Ron Artest Was Interesting?
I was one of those Internet people who participated in the rebranding of Ron Artest when he arrived in L.A. a couple years ago. I wrote a sidebar to this Maxim article that branded Artest as the NBA's most lovable goofball, an article included bullshit quotes like this one from Phil Jackson:...

Vancouver Fans Quietly Shuffle Home Without Bothering Anyone
This Canucks season ended slightly more prosaically than the last one. No fires, no broken windows, no hungover city sheepishly cleaning up after itself and swearing that its thousands of jersey-clad rioters in no way represent the fans or Vancouver....

Fox Sports Arizona Did A Text Poll Asking Who's The Best In The NL East, And They Listed Every Team Except The Mets
The above comes from the Diamondbacks-Braves game on Sunday afternoon, which Ian Kennedy and company wound up winning 6-4....

Stalker Sends Olympic High Jumper Ariane Friedrich A Picture Of His Genitals, She Outs Him Via Facebook
Rough times for stalkers/twisted assholes. Not long after Jon Lovitz took to Twitter to expose bullying tween-aged anti-Semites, German Olympian Ariane Friedrich chose to out a man on Facebook for stalking her and sending her a picture of his "genitals," otherwise known as "penis and testicles."...

Metta World Peace's Elbow Waged War On James Harden's Head
Metta World Peace earned an ejection from today's Lakers-Thunder game when his celebration after a second-quarter dunk included an elbow to the side of James Harden's head. ...

Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....

Penn State Offered To Rename Beaver Stadium After Joe Paterno So His Family Would Not Sue The School
Penn State and the Paterno family have quickly morphed from college football royalty to a sad episode of The Bickersons in a matter of months. After unceremoniously firing Paterno in the wake of his laissez-faire handling of the Jerry Sandusky allegations, the school offered certain concessions to ...

Red Sox Fan Really Wants You To See His Nipple
We're guessing this fellow wasn't feeling so flash-y an inning or so later....

Bubba Watson Continues Charming The Pants Off Everyone, Has Custom Green Jacket Made For Infant Son
You have to admit, this is cute as shit. As Masters Sunday wore on, we heard more and more about how Bubba Watson had adopted a son, Caleb, just weeks before the tournament. When he won, he spoke about how excited he was to go back home and see him....

Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...

The Ninth Inning Of Today's Mets-Giants Game Was About The Worst Ever
The Mets tried valiantly to lose today's matinee against the Giants, only to have their LOLMets returned twofold. An outfield blunder by Ruben Tejada and Kirk Nieuwenhuis on what should have been the final play of the game in the top of the ninth allowed San Francisco to tie the game, but the Giants...

Penn State Admits Official Fired Earlier This Week Was Fired For His Role In Sandusky Investigation
In an admission that shocks absolutely no one, unnamed sources within the Penn State athletic department have confirmed that associate athletic director Mark Sherburne was fired this week for his role in the investigation of child sex abuse claims against former coach Jerry Sandusky and the adminis...

Hair Of The Dong: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
I know you were worried, but rest assured, here is your weekly dong fix. We get things started this week with a submission from none other than Dong Curator Emeritus, Brian Hickey. In his own words: "This is actually a hair on my bathroom wall. The fuck did that happen?" Please remember to support ...

Florida Beat Georgia Last Night On A 16th-Inning Walkoff Strikeout
Fifth-ranked Florida escaped with a bizarre 3-2 win over Georgia last night in Gainesville, as a rare walkoff strikeout allowed Vickash Ramjit to score from third after Bulldogs catcher Brandon Stephens blundered away what should have been the final out of the 16th inning....

NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 25 Games For Hit On Marian Hossa
Earlier today the NHL announced that Raffi Torres will be suspended for 25 games for this violent hit on Marian Hossa....

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...