k Page 3531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rex Ryan To Appear As Patriots Fan In Adam Sandler Movie Also Starring Vanilla Ice, Susan Sarandon
Rex Ryan will have a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie due out in 2012 called I Hate You, Dad. He'll play a Boston-area lawyer and a passionate Patriots fan, which is funny, because Rex Ryan wants to be the head coach of the Patriots actually hates the Patriots....

ESPN Has Found Its Answer To Problems Like Bruce Feldman And His Book
From the network that never lets its business interests interfere with its coverage: "Of note is that ESPN, as a matter of policy, will no longer grant permission to write as-told-to books with sports personalities." It's a conflict of interest, you see. Except when it isn't. [Front Row]...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: It's Called The Big Ten, Not The Top Ten
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

The Death Of A Former Football Player At An Underground Fight In A Church Has, Somehow, Resulted In A Lawsuit
The church along the Broken Arrow Expressway in Tulsa is of the Christian-capitalist mega-variety. You know the deal: rock shows, slick website, a gift shop, deadly unsanctioned boxing fights. One such fight on Sept. 21, 2011, allegedly resulted in the death of George Clinkscale, who played lineback...

This Is Why You Don't Ask A Professional Athlete To Be A School "Reading Champion"
I absolutely cannot think of a better inspiration for getting schoolchildren to read than by choosing a man who got very rich without ever having read a book in his life....

Cockblocked By Rugby!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Eighth Grade Is For Kids: Scouting America's Top-Ranked 15-Year-Old Basketball Stars
It's a Sunday in October, and Baruch College in Gramercy is hosting campus tours. In the basement lobby just off of the main gym, high school students and their parents, sometimes trailing younger siblings, walk through, following a college student who's walking backwards. Should they come to Baruch...

Service Academy Football Rivalries Are Just As Good For Dick Jokes
According to the Cadet Third Class (that's Air Force for 'sophomore'!) who sent this along, a big wank-y banner has been hung in the Air Force Academy's dining hall ahead of tomorrow's big Army game. Is this the type of young men we want waging our wars in the future? Deadspin says: god yes....

Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...

Jurgen Klinsmann Needs 90 Words To Say Nothing
With friendlies against France and Slovenia looming, the U.S. men's soccer team will start getting blooded against stronger competition. Jurgen Klinsmann continues to tinker with lineups and test out new players, so we can't fault him too much for the 1-1-3 record he's compiled to date. But don't th...

The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Come On Down To The Sioux Falls Skyforce's D-League Draft Party!
The NBA D-League is hosting its 2011 draft tonight, on the third day of what would have been the 2011-12 NBA season, and the Sioux Falls Skyforce is hosting a draft party in what appears to be the local high school multipurpose room! They started popping bottles at 5:45 this evening. Don't get too c...

This Evening: Aaron Rodgers Was Rambo For Halloween
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned salt makes everything better. Photo courtesy Busted Coverage, via @NanciFilipelli. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Albert Pujols Spotted At The Airport In St. Louis. But Where Could He Be Going?
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...

The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...

The Mets Are Moving The Fences To Distract Themselves From The Fact They're The Mets
Not so long ago (2009), the New York Mets opened a new stadium in Flushing. It was supposed to be a classy, exposed-brick-and-green-steel tribute to the franchise's ascendance. Instead, Citi Field has been a monument to the Mets' modern futility and clumsiness....

Reporters Waste Time Grandstanding On Twitter, According To Grandstanding Reporter On Twitter
So knock it off and get back to work, pot says to kettle. [@KBergCBS]...

Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...

Kevin Durant Is The New Redskins Quarterback...On A Trading Card
Kevin Durant's dominating performance at an intramural flag football game at Oklahoma State earlier this week has a lot of people asking "What if?" All of those people work for the Panini Group, the Italian collectibles giant that makes trading cards and bought Donruss two years ago. What if Durant ...