k Page 3582 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Sean Patton
Who? Sean Patton is a comic originally from New Orleans, arriving as part of group from New Orleans along with Mark Normand and Neal Statsny. Sean works in a free association style. The audience never knows where the punchline is coming and in that way his jokes feel almost like magic tricks....

Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Jessica Kirson
Who? Jessica Kirson started in New York. She's big but never uses it to self-pity or incur sympathy. She uses it to destroy. The hardest comics to follow on a show are the ones that change the rhythm of a room. A one-liner comic throws off the pattern for the comedians that follow because the audi...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...

Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...

Greg Jennings Puts The Fam On His Back
We all remember this, right? One Madden player's profane, exultant play-by-play of virtual Greg Jennings' gamebreaking score. Real Greg Jennings gets in on the fun with a family-friendly reenactment, with narration by Larry Fitzgerald....

<em>Jersey Shore</em> Finally Finds Its Voice: Joe Buck
Your morning roundup for Aug. 11, the day it wasn't a good idea to let a six-year-old drive the car. Photo via @danpbell. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Bryan Stow's Family: He's Showing The "Most Response" He's Shown Since The Attack
On the day that the two men charged with savagely attacking Bryan Stow outside Dodger Stadium in April pleaded not guilty — and officials announced the woman who drove them away from the scene won't be charged — Stow's family posted an uplifting update on their website. Here's part of it:...

Here's Video Of Oribe Peralta's Goal That Has Mexico Leading The US At Halftime
In the 17th minute, with the son of the former USMNT coach marking him, Mexico forward Oribe Peralta capitalized on a cross from Andres Guardado. Pretty goal. The U.S. has yet to score its new coach. Second half about to begin....

Your Jurgen Klinsmann USMNT Debut Open Thread
Tonight marks the official Ascension of Jurgen Klinsmann to the helm of a U.S. Men's National Team struggling to find itself....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: David Walton
Who? The entertainment industry makes no sense. It is capricious mix of talent, looks and most importantly, luck. Here is an example. There were two excellent comic actors in my college senior class. Both were charismatic, hard-working and good-looking dudes. They arranged a performance of Mamet's G...

What The Hell? Soccer Club Sacrifies Actual Lamb On The Pitch Before Match (SFW)
This is Turkish side Sivasspor posing with a restrained lamb before their friendly with FK Rad Belgrade. The camera cuts away, something happens, and the Sivasspor players are covering themselves with fresh lamb's blood for luck. It worked. The Serbs were scared shitless, and the Turks won 4-1. I'...

I Never Want To Work On A Goddamn TV Show Again: A Week In LA With Norm Macdonald
Last November, Drew Magary and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend a week working on the pilot for what would become the now-canceled Sports Show With Norm Macdonald. You've read his highlights. Now here are mine....

Our Resident Comedian Explains: How Do I Become A Comedy Writer?
Earlier, Drew mentioned the harrowing, unstable process of writing for TV. It is a blast if you get hired. If the show goes to series and you are staffed, you are now making around $200K minimum on a union show. That is more money than my family has made in generations. I would fill up my bathtub an...

Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...

Not Even Playboy Playmates Can Bring Loaded Guns Onto Airplanes, Apparently
You remember Shanna Marie McLaughlin. Central Florida grad. Playboy Playmate of the Month for July 2010. Filmed a little video in the UCF locker room last year that got some people more bothered than hot, a silly ordeal that left her "dumbfounded" and resulted in a formal apology from the school — ...

Showbiz Crack Whores: A Week In LA With Norm Macdonald
Last November, A.J. Daulerio and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend a week working on the pilot for what would become the now-canceled Sports Show with Norm MacDonald. Here now are some quick highlights from that trip....

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....