k Page 3652 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Texas HS Baseball Players Charged In Chicken Decapitations
Western Hills High School's baseball team is 7-15 on the season. That's not a very good record. "Change the atmosphere in the clubhouse," old-timey baseball men would say. The team needs some clutch, some grit, some hustle....

Last Night's Lakers-Mavs Game Got A Little Bit Brawl-y
The Lakers and the Mavs kept things interesting in one of the most under-scheduled nights of the NBA season last night: five players were ejected after a shoving match that began with Jason Terry and Steve Blake. The refs sent out two players from each team (Dallas's Terry and Brendan Haywood and ...

Short White Guy Wins College Dunk Contest
So ends the ballad of short white guy. Jacob Tucker captured our hearts, with his average height and above-average ability to jump and slam a basketball through a rim. And these were legitimately good dunks — no affirmative action here. But if you're wondering why such an athlete would be stuck in...

Self-Proclaimed Jersey-Chasers Bring UNC Hoopsters To Sorority Formal, Warn Sisters First
Last night was Spring Formal for the UNC-Chapel Hill chapter of the Chi Omega sorority. And three of the lovely ladies landed as dates three of the members of the basketball team: Harrison Barnes, John Henson and Kendall Marshall....

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Here's Video Of A Lady Using Rail-Dance Spasms To Seduce A Goal From A Minor-League Hockey Game
In this video, a lady treats an ice-rink handrail like it's a pole on a stage. This seems to lead to an "awesome" Grand Rapids Griffins goal or something along those lines. The security guards apparently found this offensive. Bad form....

The Washington Nationals's Big Off-Season Signing Is Batting .250 And Possibly Sitting To Go Number 1
Jayson Werth, the Washington Nationals's $126 million right-field prize, went 1-for-4 with one strikeout in his Beltway debut, a 2-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves....

Former Penn State Coach Who Titled His Autobiography "Touched" Stands Accused Of Improperly Doing So
A grand jury is investigating allegations that "Penn State football legend" Jerry Sandusky indecently assaulted a 15-year-old boy over the course of a four-year period. Both Joe Paterno and Penn State Athletic Director Tim Curley were called to appear, according to the Patriot-News newspaper in cen...

We Are All Dave McKenna LVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is found face-down in a puddle....

This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...

Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...

PETA Protests The Michael Vick Madden Cover That Doesn't Exist Yet
When ESPN and EA Sports announced that they would team up to let fans select the Madden 2012 cover boy, we predicted that the angry loud people would quickly sound off about the selections. The pool is now down to 16 selections, and the shit-stirring has begun: in a totally unoriginal outcome, the ...

Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...

Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...

India, Pakistan, And The Hopeful Futility Of Cricket Diplomacy
One early spring day in 2007, a curious group of worshipers gathered at Mahakaleshwar Jyotirlinga, an 11th century temple in Madhya Pradesh, India. They came not to pray for blessings for themselves or their families, but for something that at the moment seemed much more important....

Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....

Watch A Frat-Boy Flyers Fan Flip The Fuck Out On His Bros
Brah here goes to Penn State. When he went out to study for a "very important test," Brah's bros covered his bed with, per the summary of whomever posted this video, "hundreds of plastic solo cups." Dude....

A Pink Weather Dong Grows Near Chicago
By the looks of the screenshot sent in by tipster Greg E., the fine people of Chicago, Rockford and beyond have roughly 36 hours to prepare for what weatherman Mike Caplan says is coming their way....

Here's Video Of John Wall Elbow-Punching Zydrunas Ilgauskas In The Ribs Tonight
It's videos like this that make America wish Erik Spoelstra was a little more like Jeff Van Gundy and Zydrunas Ilgauskas emulated Alonzo Mourning. Oh, both Wall and Ilgauskas got thrown out and the Heat won....

Short White Guy Will Dunk On National TV
Jacob Tucker, the 5'11" Division III YouTube sensation, officially received his invite to the College Slam Dunk Contest, to be held tomorrow night in Houston. You did it, you dogged internet voters. You made a young man's dream come true. (Not Rico Cunningham, the other DIII dunker nominee. You st...