k Page 3700 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Breaking Down The Pens' And Caps' Gameplans, As Captured By <em>24/7</em> Cameras
Justin Bourne does a bang-up job of analyzing what we (and HBO's cameras) saw on the whiteboards in the Capitals and Penguins' respective locker rooms....

What Kind Of Dog Will Michael Vick Get?
Yesterday, Vick told an interviewer he'd love to own another dog to help with his rehabilitation. Naturally, Bodog is already taking bets on that dog's breed....

Apocalyptic Teddy-Bear Rain Delays Hockey Game
Fans and players in Calgary were horrified as plushy death rained from the rafters. Scores were killed, maimed, and softly nuzzled to sleep....

This Photo Is Great
It's got everything: Garnett taking a vaudeville bow, Ray Allen smiling at some private joke, Nate Robinson concussing himself, and Paul Pierce doing the last number from All That Jazz. Photo by UPI's John Angelillo. [@si_vault; also, you are encouraged to read Leitch's take on the game]...

Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?
Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."...

Who Wants To See A Cockatoo Singing That Drowning Pool Song?
We consider this a public service to the five of you who haven't yet seen Lolita the cockatoo singing the WWE classic, "Bodies."...

Last Night's Winner: Bruce Boudreau Makes Rex Ryan Look Like Mr. Rogers
Don't say you weren't warned. HBO's 24/7 Penguins/Capitals premiered last night, and we were promised profanity. Either we got it, or they accidentally put Deadwood back on the air....

Bill Simmons And Tawwmy From Quinzee, Together At Last
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NCAA And Arizona State Both Impose Penalties On ASU Baseball; NCAA's Are Harsher
The Sun Devils' five-time national champion baseball team will endure a three-year probation and a one-year postseason ban for violations that took place during former head coach Pat Murphy's tenure. Murphy, meanwhile, will need a permission slip for his next job....

Here's Your "The Battle For Nate Robinson's Tiny Soul" Knicks-Celtics Open Thread
A rivalry! Kinda! Tonight, ESPN begins the resurrection of the dormant-for-like-ever Knicks-Celtics rivalry. We all know what this is really about, though: Nate Robinson and his tiny soul....

Of Course The Kid Who Cries Blood Is A Jets Fan
17-year-old Calvino Inman has spontaneously bled from his eyes and nose for the past two years. He also owns a Mark Sanchez jersey. Coincidence?...

Tonight's NHL 24/7 Premiere: "You'll Have To Hide The Kids"
Tonight is the premiere of HBO's straightforwardly-titled series 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic. Want to know exactly which expletives Bruce Boudreau spat at his Caps during their 7-0 loss to the Rangers on Sunday? Now you will....

Michael Vick Wants To Sell You A Nissan
He's not getting paid for this, his first post-comeback endorsement. So shop at Woodbury Nissan with a clear conscience. Just try not to back over a dog in the driveway with your new car. That would just be awkward for everyone involved....

Ryan Clark Rocks Out With Bieber, Cries With Ochocinco
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Steelers safety runs with different crowds....

How "Tripgate" Went Down, And How It's Practiced Around The League
Today the Jets concluded that Sal Alosi was acting alone when he instructed players to form a wall along the sideline. It was from this formation that Alosi tripped Miami's Nolan Carroll. Do we believe the single-tripper theory? Tinfoil hats on....

Commenter Account Still F'd? [email protected]
I know many of you are still unable to comment due to all the problems from the security breach. If these Lifehacker posts are unhelpful, your best bet is [email protected]. Keep up the resets at your leisure....

Everyone At Real Madrid Hates Cristiano Ronaldo
The next few times Cristiano Ronaldo scores a goal and starts doing his "I'm great, me!" celebration shtick, look closely. What's wrong with the picture? Oh yeah, that's it....

The Best, Most Deranged Story About Gwar You'll Ever Read
There are band profiles and there are Gwar profiles and then there's this: The first part of J. Bennett's monstrous, satisfyingly disturbing Gwar piece, "Slay Bells," is after the jump, courtesy of Decibel. Prepare for words that haunt....

How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....

Hunter Smith Oddly Serene About Being Fall Guy For Bumbling Redskins Organization
Remember, Smith was The Botcher. "Rebuilding a culture, rebuilding personnel, and I would have loved to have been a part of that moving forward. But I am at peace with where things are going." Actually, he sounds downright ecstatic. [WaPo]...