k Page 3706 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lady At Cavs Game Confused By LeHomophone
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Heat Strokes, Game 19: The LeBrorschach
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

How Pat Summitt Ruined The Best Thing About Women's Basketball
For girls of the late 1990s and early 2000s, UConn-Tennessee was very often the only game that mattered — the ponytail Super Bowl. Then Pat Summitt screwed it all up. Emma Carmichael explains....

Vincent Jackson Is A Piece Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen Vs. No. 7 The Machine
Our lone upset in the quarterfinals was a big one: The Machine edged out LeBron James, dropping the No. 2 seed. No. 3 Karen F. Owen defied Bodog's odds and sadly took out Dude Being Blown By A Dog. Alas....

LeBronageddon Is Upon Us
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Buzzer-Beater Punctuated By Announcer's Guttural Bellow
Minnesota HS hoops provides this week's buzzer-beater. But the real star is our play-by-play guy, who's either so excited that words fail him, or he happens to be fluent in dinosaur....

Devils' Advocate: White Men Can Jump
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

Punch-Out With Your Cock Out
A German (of course) AIDS awareness organization has released COCK OUT, in which players slip on a motion-sensing digital condom and use their thrusts to pummel a virtual HIV....

Brian Westbrook Has Already Had A More Successful 2010 Than Donovan McNabb
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: your new 49ers starting RB....

Oakland Willing To Discard Moneyball For "Slugging First Basemen" Philosophy
Oakland really really wants Lance Berkman. But they'd settle for Adam Dunn. For god's sake, please protect your eyebrows; this is HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...

Explaining The Cam Newton Ruling, As Best We Can
We don't know a heck of a lot right now, since the NCAA and Auburn aren't talking. But we can parse the NCAA's statement and try to break down what happened, and what happens next....

Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...

Cam Newton Ruled Eligible By NCAA
The NCAA has reinstated Newton, after he was secretly declared ineligible yesterday (for procedural purposes after an amateurism violation was determined to have occurred). [NCAA, Birmingham News]...

A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...

Gary Lineker Pooped Himself During A World Cup Match
Hi, welcome to Deadspin. We like poop here. Yet shockingly, we've never posted an actual video of someone soiling themselves. Until now....

Need More Proof The BCS Is Fucked Up? Nevada Cost Themselves $1 Million By Beating Boise St.
By thwarting the Broncos' BCS bowl hopes, the Wolf Pack cost themselves and every WAC team a million dollars each in BCS revenue. We're not ones to encourage immoral and illegal actions, but, yeah, they probably should have just tanked. [Business Insider]...

Last Night's Winner: A WWF-Themed Wedding, Featuring Howard Finkel
Watch this, and you might actually want to get married. Don't show it to your lady, though, or she might not want to marry you....

Telestrator Dong And Balls Run The Triangle Offense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....