k Page 3709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alabama Gas Station Makes Shopping For Contraception, Saban Photos Easier
Shopping season is upon us and tipster Nick B. sends in a suggestion for those looking to procure pre-framed images of Alabama Crimson Tide head coaches: Just find the jimmy hats....

Name That Mascot Dong!
In unveiling their second mascot "Boomer" on Wednesday, the Columbus Blue Jackets called him "a kid-friendly, cushy cannon character with a friendly face and fluffy moustache reminiscent of a Civil War-era general." [BlueJackets.nhl.com]...

Lady Hates Michigan So Much She Lets Her Breastuses Hang Out
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Mirror Lake Queen. She likes Woody Hayes a lot. You can see a still at bustedcoverage.com but I feel as if live-action really captures her true spirit....

Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Barack Obama Needs Stitches After Busting Lip During Thanksgiving Basketball Game
The president took 12 stitches after getting hit in the mouth during a friendly game of hoops yesterday. Probably shouldn't have invited Bill Laimbeer. [AP]...

Everybody's Working For The (Long) Weekend
I'm betting a large number of you are reading this from your office, thanks to some asshole boss who doesn't see why you should have the day off when 90 percent of the rest of the world does. Let's commiserate....

My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Derek Jeter Is Better Than Anyone Else At Overrating Derek Jeter
Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year." [NYDN]...

Depressed Pilgrims Encapsulate The Lions Thanksgiving Tradition
That's seven straight losses for Detroit on Turkey Day, and don't expect them to lose the Thursday slot any time soon. At the very least, maybe the league could schedule them for a high school homecoming game. [Where's Weems]...

Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....

The First NBA Mugshot Of The Holiday Season Has Arrived
Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi and his girlfriend were both charged with domestic assault early yesterday morning. Police arrested both because they had two conflicting stories. Very conflicting....

The White Trashiest Family Ever Hopes You Had A Good Thanksgiving
Is that not the greatest photo ever? Insane Clown Posse tattoo? Check. Pro wrestling t-shirt? Check. Weed t-shirt? Check. Pregnant belly busting out over unbuttoned pants? Damn right, check. Do I even need to tell you this photo was taken at a Mötley Crüe concert?...

Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....

The Awkward Team Photos Of Our Awkward Youth (And One Dog): A Gallery
We asked for photos of America's uncomfortably posed youth athletes, and you delivered. Please enjoy....

Your Annual "I'm Watching This Because I Have Calvin Johnson On My Fantasy Team" Open Thread
This could be one of those 50-10 Thanksgiving blowouts the Lions have semi-traditionally served-up for turkey-banging America, but in this kooky NFL season, Shaun Hill could have the game of his life. Yell about all the pre-feast drama, right here....

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

Gregg Easterbrook Is Such A Putz
"Why do small-school and low-drafted NFL receivers excel where glory boys falter?" asks Gregg Easterbrook, who as far as I'm concerned is Colin Cowherd with a thesaurus and whose answer to his own question is as inevitable as it is dumb....

Mike Leach Sues ESPN
The former Texas Tech coach has filed suit against ESPN and the PR firm repping Craig James alleging both libel and slander. Leach was fired after allegations he mistreated James's son Adam. Someone unfreeze the ombudsman! [AP]...

This Is How The MLS Champion Colorado Rapids Drunkenly Celebrate Victory
By bar-hopping in costumes. And they let a writer from the Denver MetroMix tag along for the celebration. Well, some of it. Then he was summarily kicked off the party bus. I'm shocked Patrick Kane didn't crash the festivities. [MetroMix]...

Heat Strokes, Games 12-14: The Deathly Hallows
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....