k Page 3748 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

New Juventus Signing Pays €10,000 To Make It To His First Training Session On Time
Being as it's Friday, footballers all over the planet are currently, or soon to be, preparing to spend the thousands of pounds/euros/dollars they've earned this week on getting up to no good....

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...

When Even The Fetus Is Pro-Choice
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Isaiah Rider" And "Tyson Chandler" Hang At Rock The Bells
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Isaiah "Don't Call Me J.R." Rider and Tyson Chandler....

Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....

Join The Deadspin Facebook Page And Possibly Get Your Becky On
Hello again! I know I keep bugging you to join the Deadspin Facebook page, but, dammit, it's just so full of gorgeous ladies like Alexia Fortunato who are happy to engage in sexual acts with numerous readers she finds semi-attractive....

Read Bill O'Reilly Wax Uptight About '70s Porn Auteur Gerard Damiano
During the early days of disco, young scribe Bill O'Reilly scribed for the Boston Phoenix. His first article was a feature on the director of Deep Throat, giving new resonance to "Fuck it, we'll do it live." [Boston Phoenix]...

Real-Life Lady Football Coach Story Not Going As Well As Lady Football Coach Movie
Natalie Randolph is a woman. But she's also a high school football coach in Washington D.C. Is your mind blown yet? It shouldn't be. We've been here before....

Nike's Plans For "Back To The Future" Self-Lacing Sneakers
Nike has filed a patent for a new "automatic lacing system" that looks nothing so much like Marty McFly's Nike Air Mags from 2015....

A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....

Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....

MLB Confidential Update: Baseball Still Searching For Leaker, Baseball Tells Me
Just got off the phone with Pat Courtney, MLB's senior vice president of public relations, to find out if there's any progress in their search for the devilish individual who provided us with all those documents. It was a short conversation....

A Sex Addict Relapses: An Ex-Girlfriend, A Panty Flash, And Mark Cuban
Well, let's get it out the way — it didn't take me very long to relapse after leaving sex rehab....

Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...

Last Night's Winner: Notre Dame, Bending Television To Their Will
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Fighting Irish, who gain a competitive advantage by convincing NBC to change the way they do commercial breaks, which will facilitate their new up-tempo offense....

Josh Hamilton Once Again Finds Himself Beset By Scantily Clad Fans
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rick Reilly Video Pulled From ESPN.com Because He Insulted Bud Selig
On Saturday, ESPN.com posted another installment of Rick Reilly®'s zany "Riled Up" video series, but it was quickly yanked. The "State of Statues" segment was up for a short period of time before ESPN.com's content ninjas intervened....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 2
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. This week: "shit" and "ass" end up deadlocked, while "nuts" drop left and right....

For Fuck's Sake, Bama Fans
Tide fans spend way too much time debating whether this cloud looks like Bear Bryant, or maybe "Abe Lincoln on a personal watercraft." Way to live up to your stereotypes, folks. [ABC33, via EDSBS]...

Up Three, Time Winding Down: Do You Foul? Harvard Smartypants Say It Doesn't Matter, We Say Otherwise
Everyone's buzzing about an analysis of last season's college hoops games, that claims to demonstrate that there's no measurable difference between fouling to force two shots, or letting them shoot the three. Here at Wednesday Afternoon Statistician, we beg to differ....