k Page 3749 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Care To See What A Female Tennis Player's Musculature Looks Like In Slow-Motion?
As part of their examination into how "power" has transformed women's tennis, the Times included a video gallery of several players returning volleys in slow-motion. It's as neat as it is intimidating and shaming. [NYT]...

Jim Furyk DQ'ed From Playoff Event For Oversleeping
Furyk missed his tee time at The Barclays this morning because his cell phone ran out of batteries, and the alarm with it. Also, his dog ate his scorecard. [Star-Ledger]...

Skydiver Gets Stranded Atop Rangers Ballpark
The Army's Golden Knights parachute team were performing one of their patented pregame routines before last night's Rangers game. All but one of them made it to the field....

And The Mariotti Mug Shot Photoshops Have Begun
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Winnipeg's Mayor Straight Kicks A Kid In The Face
Click to viewMayor Sam Katz took part in a charity soccer game yesterday with some local youth. Either this kid's good at flopping, or the mayor just broke his face....

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment
By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy....

Your Moment Of Auto-Erotica: "Oh, How He Tempted Her."
We recently discovered—but then forget—the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Worship Your New Bud Selig Graven Image
Watch live as Milwaukee unveils its larger than life bronze statue of Bud Selig. Then weep. Weep for all of us....

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

This Kid Was Promptly Beaten Up By Players From Eight Different Countries
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Waiver Wire Drama Sends AL East Into A Tizzy
The Red Sox's nefarious plan to lose a bunch of games finally comes to fruition, as they put in a claim on Johnny Damon — to block the Rays from landing him. [Boston Herald]...

Randy Johnson's Lollapalooza Pictures Are Online, Not Terrible
Randy Johnson—photographer of the stars—took pictures of Soundgarden's set at Lollapalooza for Spin, and while it is—unfortunately—hoopster free, it is a solid collection of shots from what was probably a very loud concert. [Spin]...

When Arm Wrestling Becomes Attempted Murder
A Florida man went nutso after losing an arm wrestling match, driving his pickup truck into a crowd and holding a rifle to the head of the guy who beat him. Seems reasonable. [TCPalm, via Weed/Speed]...

Intern Horrors: Being Inducted Into The Klan At A Single-A Game
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, and we're back with more stories of boneheadedness and bosses degrading their most under of underlings. Today: unintentional racial insensitivity strikes minor league baseball, naked Don Zimmer, and so much more. Do it to it....

This Is What The NCAA Asks Baseball Recruits When They Are Drafted
The MLB Amateur Draft is unique in that sometimes, the players ignore that they've been drafted and head off to college for three years. That doesn't mean the NCAA doesn't suspect these kids of breaking the rules....

Israeli Soccer Player Celebrates Goal By Putting On Yarmulke, Receives Yellow Card (CONTEXT UPDATE)
During a game against Austrian club FC Red Bull Salzburg, Hapoel Tel Aviv's Itay Shechter scored after a very nice run, proceeded to pull a yarmulke out of his sock, (apparently) said a prayer—and was immediately given a yellow card....

Spider-Man 2: Yet Another Japanese Outfielder Makes Incredible Catch
Mere weeks after introducing the world to the original Spider-Man's home run saving grab, it happens again. Same ballpark, same teams, same pitcher on the mound....

Al Michaels And Cris Collinsworth Are Far Too Aware Of The Spread
Can we drop the charade and acknowledge that the only people watching the fourth quarter, third stringers of a preseason game are degenerate gamblers? The announcers analyzing a "meaningless" safety certainly knew how to play to the crowd....